Primary school auties: summer and beyond - thread 5

[openupmyeagereyes]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

How scary @livpotter Glad all was ok!

@danni0509 sorry to hear the school are being so difficult and the special school struggle is still ongoing.

My DD has been kept in. 8 kids in her bubble. Shes spent more time in class this week than sept-december combined. Shes also produced more work!

My DS had agreement to issue on his ehcp yesterday.

We aren’t in as dd doesn’t have a formal dc or echp.

@livpotter that must have been so scary - I’m sure they will chat with you and then see what a great job you are doing. We got a call from hv after dd had two head injuries in six weeks (falling off playground stuff) and they just checked in and then went away

@danni0509 that all sounds very stressful - my sil had a lot of similar stuff and got enormous support from the charity Contact a family so might be worth speaking to them

Formal dx I meant

Congratulations @Mumofsend on the EHCP for your DS. My DS is in too, he got his EHCP just before Christmas. He seems ok there so far, more inclusive with the small bubble size, but apparently the government have told schools they can't cap so we will see how that goes...hes got his 1 to 1 for now anyway!
Wow @danni0509 just what a load of stress. Sometimes when I talk to friends not involved in sen stuff about how we have to fight for what our kids need, I see their face and I realise that what has become normalised for me really isn't, and it shouldn't all the so hard. And if you dont have a supportive school or senco, it's just so unfair. I hope you get a proper placement for your DS soon.
In lighter news, DS is really getting into countdown and we've been watching it after school! Great fun!

Mumofsend great that dd is doing well in the small class and that ds got his EHCP.

That's good to know once. We haven't heard anything from SS but I imagine they probably have more important things to deal with at the moment!

Mrsdubeke glad ds is doing well and enjoying countdown.

We're all ok here although ds has refused to leave the house since getting lost. Hoping we might persuade him out a bit today.

Hi, I’m new to this thread as I have only recently discovered that my four year old son may be autistic. He has had an initial assessment by a speech therapist who thinks he could be and has referred him for further assessment. From what I’ve heard, this could take over a year in our local area :(

I’m trying to help my son with his reception work but finding it very hard going. Other children in his class are already reading but he has only memorised a couple of letters and numbers. His concentration is low and he just isn’t interested in learning. I am also a rubbish teacher tbh, I’m not good at coming up with ways to inspire him. Are any of you going through similar? He is a very sweet little boy but quickly gets very upset and frustrated if I try to get him to do any school work.

@Bringallthebiscuits hiya,

Mine is year 1 and can't read at all. This time last year I was pushing it a lot but have definitely found it made us all bloody miserable. Myself and her 1-1 have constant feedback over what they are working on. I often go for EYFS style activities but very much focus on learning through play, she isn't ready for sit down schooling. Please don't push him or yourself. It does get easier as you figure things that they do enjoy and engage with to then work out activities but it took me best part of a year to get to that point.

She still won't really engage with much at school but at least she isn't petrified of it all anymore!

@Mumofsend thanks very much for your reply, I will try and chill out about it all and just focus on having a nice day together. That’s great that she is feeling better about going to school x

Just jumping on quickly to say that there are lots of engaging learning activities for young children on blogs such as The Imagination Tree and 5 Minute Mum - there will be countless others too

I’ve found a video I like for teaching children number bonds (I think we have some maths magicians on here already though, open I know your ds is good at maths and someone else? Liv or dimples I’m not sure, So these probably won’t help you as they are quite simple number bonds to 10) but for my ds when I ask him what 1 add 1 is and he thinks the answer is 50 😂😂 and for anyone else’s child struggling with the concept it may help.

You just need a coat hanger and some pegs 😆😆

Oh and that class on the video, it’s year 1. Ds is obvs year 2 and wouldn’t dream of sitting still and taking part like that (probs why he’s banned from the classroom actually!)

Ds has his old 1-1 back for an hour and a half a day, do you know the one I really liked - he had her for 2 years, I’m not sure if it’s just temporary or what not but she bought him out today and walked back up to the car with me and she said she’s having him for the last hour and half every day now. He has the dinner lady for the first hour.

The old 1-1 we like, text me the other day to ask which day his birthday was so I did think she may be working with him as she hasn’t text me for months, I’ve not heard a word from her so with her texting like that I wondered if she was back with him now as she got told in the summer she was only allowed to text me if she was working with ds.

Anyway I’m pleased he has her back, she’s lovely x

That’s a point, open is it ds birthday this week? Happy birthday for whenever it is 🎈🎈🥰 🎁

@Bringallthebiscuits just regularly look at the letters and keep saying them how they sound, ah buh cuh duh etc. If your not sure then look on YouTube at phonic sounds and it will show you how to pronounce them. (I did the full summer before reception teaching ds AY BEE CEE DEE this was obviously before I became a teacher 🤣 didn’t have a clue how they taught it, so spent 6 weeks teaching him the wrong way, what a waste!)

Have you got a little white board / dry wipe pen? I got ds off amazon for about £8 if I remember, I just used to sit doing that with him writing all the letters saying the sounds then when he knew all the letter sounds then we started doing some cvc words. Once he confidently knows the sounds then you can work on the next bit of blending the sounds so he’s reading the words.

My ds started to read a few cvc words in reception, then got stuck on the first level reading book for all of year 1 and now in year 2 he’s moved up two reading bands already because I pester the teacher how easy he’s doing the books he’s on light blue now which he moved to Friday, which is level 3, he only got changed to yellow band level 2 in November and he is working through phase 5 sounds now which to be honest I did them with him yesterday and he’s doing great with them.

He’s still slow to progress when I think i have done something phonic / reading related every day with him for nearly 3 years! but never mind! At one point I didn’t think he’d ever read. One thing I’ll say is, I’d be lying if I didn’t say it’s been a long slog. Anything you do will help him x

Yesterday I got a tapestry message saying ds was in penguin phonic group and his sounds this week was (some phase 5) and when I looked at who was in the group 33 other yr2 children are in his phonic group ( no names just says 34 children are in this group) learning the same sounds. I always thought ds was bottom of everything, perhaps not? Anyway I’m super proud of him (!)

I got ds hospital report the other day, it’s always said ASD as his primary diagnosis but they’ve used the dreaded moderate learning difficulty phrase now 😕 it was the head consultant who wrote it who he’s been under since he was 2. First time they have referenced MLD.

@danni0509 that’s really encouraging, it sounds like you’ve done a great job. Especially if he does have learning difficulties and yet you have helped him overcome that and start reading at a similar level to other children. Hope you’re not feeling too down about the report.

That’s a good idea about a little white board. The school gave us some magnetic letters and I bribed him to try saying them in return for chocolate buttons today. He surprised me by knowing a lot of them! He got ‘b’ and ‘d’ and ‘p’ mixed up, also ‘f’ and ‘t’, but to be fair they do look annoyingly similar.

Sorry, I’ve been reading but not posting.

We just got the report from the EP that saw ds in December. I think it’s quite good and has useful recommendations for the school. Hopefully they can put them in place when he returns. It says he is approx 12-18 months behind, with a spiky profile, but it is thought to be due to his difficulties with independent learning rather than cognitive potential.

Home learning is going much better this time. We are doing twice as much and getting it done before 2pm which is great. He still needs lots of cajoling and keeping on track but so far so much better. This time we also have the option to send him in if we feel it’s for the best which is nice to know.

I hope everyone is doing well. danni how are you feeling now about the consultant’s letter?

Welcome to all the new people 👋

Bringallthebiscuits ds mixed up b, d & p for a long time as well as some other letters. He still does occasionally but it’s very, very much improved.

And he also sounded out every word for best part of a year (c-a-t etc.). I felt like it would never end but it did. We’ve just moved him on to our ORT level 5 as we are fed up with the L4 ones!

Good to hear the home learning is going better open and 12-18 months isn’t too bad.

We had a google meet this afternoon with school, they do 3 afternoons Tues, weds, thurs for 15 mins for his phonic sounds & maths, so he goes in for the morning then comes home for dinner and a teacher does the online meeting whilst he’s home, first one today, well it went horribly. He picked the iPad up and threw it at the door put his hands on his ears and started saying I don’t want to speak to miss xxxx I don’t want to speak to miss xxxx over and over making a humming sound to block her out I couldn’t get a word in edgeways and he just kept running at the iPad and throwing it across the room telling her to go away, so embarrassing! she showed ds her cat sat on the sofa to bring him around as she knows he likes cats and the cat was just staring at ds like wtf is this kid doing 😂 she had to end the call, so I just text to say sorry but he doesn’t want to do it so she said it’s ok we will do it again tomorrow so I told ds we will try tomorrow and he’s saying no I don’t want her to ring again I want her to go away etc. So if tomorrow doesn’t go any better then I’m going to have to say no more as he was really stressed afterwards kept saying she won’t come back on my iPad will she etc. 😕

Ds had his adhd panel meeting yesterday (I wasn’t invited - they don’t allow the parents which is bizzare! School have to represent us) so there was an Ep, clinical physc, a social worker, ds head teacher, class teacher (senco is on leave still due to personal reasons) there was a specialist teacher, a paediatrician, quite a lot of people all linked in. So they agreed from the evidence and the questions they asked ds school, they just need someone to observe him in school then he will receive a formal diagnosis.

It was nice though as ds class teacher said the EP sung my praises and when they said would mum benefit from doing a parenting course the Ep said no, I did a 6 week asd course with her and she does everything she can already and the headteacher and ds class teacher said the same. So least the panel realised it’s not my parenting! (Asif!)

I agree with open about the b p d. Ds did the same. Also the C A T he did for a while.

He still sometimes says ITE for IT as he can’t get over you don’t say the I sound if you get me?

Ds reads some higher levels at home open he read tadpoles by Julia donaldson the other day and he’s read no more milk a few times, he doesn’t get a word wrong.

danni great that they know how much effort you put in. So nice to have that recognised.

We have the Songbirds books as well as about 10 others from school but ds mostly refuses to read anything other than the Biff, Chip & Kipper ones! 🙄

I imagine your ds just finds it strange someone from school being on his iPad at home.

DD received her formal ADHD diagnosis yesterday, I'm amazed it was so quick. I think the Dr explained her primary condition is ASD with significant demand avoidance and co-morbid ADHD that is exasperated by her Anxiety.

We have ruled out medicating her at this stage which school aren't thrilled about.

School have also said no to taking DS, they can't meet his needs. Considering the LA said he is borderline having a plan...

They don’t diagnose adhd here until 7 onwards mumofsend. He’s 7 in a fortnight.

He got referred 10 months ago. Ridiculous when he got an autism diagnosis thrown at us at 3. I’m not sure about medication either, I’d never get a blood test off him and one has to be done regularly on the medication so I have no idea.

Will your ds go to special needs school? How old is he

He’s 7 next week not a fortnight.