Primary school auties: summer and beyond - thread 5

[openupmyeagereyes]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Just a quickie and I’m not engaging with it anymore, it’s taking all my energy up all this with school and it’s making my mood low. Constant issue after issue.

His teacher phoned me at lunch time, asked how ds was, I said fine. He’s ate me out of house and home been on his trampoline, now he’s playing with his planes, (aka not poorly!)

So she said I just wonder if you could take him to the drs, so I said why? He’s not poorly. So she said well with him saying a few times to us his tummy aches and now him being sick. I said he wasn’t sick, it was refluxy / water that’s very different to being sick. And he’s only done that at school once (he’s probably in fact done it more than once but they’ve only seen it today, he does it in his mouth and swallows it) I then said and I phoned the dr 2 weeks ago about his tummy ache hence why he’s on laxido sachets so that’s that issue already dealt with.

She still said a further 3 times I do think he should go to the dr. So I said no, he doesn’t need to. It’s ridiculous! Trying to get an appointment with my dr when you are actually ill is difficult enough.

Thing with ds is, he was a really refluxy baby / toddler he was on medication 4 times a day for 2 and a half years and every so often he will reflux a bit into his mouth, I think because he’s so active and he’s always charging about. Anyway It’s not unusual for him. She’s making out he does it every day the way she’s talking about it, he doesn’t at all he can go months and months without doing it. I said to her he’s been having pineapple juice every day lately and I do remember when he was younger being told to not give him citrus juice so I’ll knock that on the head now.

But she continued and asked me if I could ring his paediatrician for advice, yeah why not! I’ll phone his autism dr and ask for advice about reflux I said they aren’t even interested when I talk to them about AUTISM.

She said I’ve made a note in his file and I’ve let the Senco know. Let the senco know what exactly? She said just our conversations.

It’s all way over the top and she’s really doing my head in. I politely told the senco this before and she said she would have a word.

Anyway he’s off back to school Thursday. So he’s off school at the minute, perfectly fine, not poorly or anything. And his teacher is hassling me to take a non poorly child to the dr.

I emailed her after our call with a summary of what we’d spoken about, and flagged that in my emails.

Keeping a record / paper trail of everything because I don’t trust them.

Lottie good luck tomorrow x

Never had any of this trouble in reception or year 1. He moves to year 2, I get this OTT teacher and in 8 weeks she’s driven me to wanting to de register my child and full time homeschool him when I cannot cope with him on a weekend 😂

Lottie good luck today. One thing I’ll say is, don’t be put off if you see some of the children. I mean it in the nicest way possible. I didn’t see any children when I went in as they made me go after school closed because of covid but when I looked on the school website on one picture half a small class had padded helmets on. I’ll be honest and say that really made me think is this right for ds (I’ll be honest and say my first thought was they must be bashing their heads - do I really want ds around that if it’s that severe they are wearing helmets. Because it’s something he will copy most likely!) of course they could have other medical conditions ie epilepsy and it’s for safety if they fall etc but it’s probably more for the first reason to be honest as the school he goes to caters for children with challenging behaviours.

Ds has plenty of challenging behaviours himself so I’m not judging, he does things other parents won’t want their own children to see so swings in roundabouts, it’s just not what you expect to see when visiting a school is all I mean.

I know my dh was put off by that too. I’m not as shallow as I sound honest! Just an eye opener if you aren’t expecting it x

Ds school has put individual year harvest festival videos on, shock. Ds not in it at all.

And he got a reading award for reading every week at home (he should of had it weeks ago and only when I’ve mentioned ds not getting his award yet has he got it, every week they log on to bug club they get a stamp and every 5 stamps they get a certificate, we have logged in 8 consecutive weeks - most nights actually, so when I see on the last online assembly his class receiving awards I was thinking why does ds not have his?) anyway his on the assembly video outside with his coat and hat on, stood by himself holding his certificate, just a picture of him, then all the others with the same award in all the year 2 classes are all stood in the classrooms next to each other no coats on just uniform, pics taken during class time.

Where is the shame? The more I see the more I want him out of there ASAP. My dad is a solicitor and I’m seriously thinking of getting him to get his colleague who deals with education / school law / disability rights (my dad doesn’t do that) to contact me so I can talk it through and see where I stand.

His school should be dragged through the mud named and shamed and sprawled across the front of our local paper for all to see. The way they treat and continue to treat disabled children is abysmal. Third year of ds being discriminated against but all they spout is they do their best and are as inclusive as possible.

Fuck off and pull the other.

I think the worst is when he wasn’t allowed to learn to swim at school because he was still wearing nappies but then at the same time they rented the pool out on a Saturday morning for BABY swim lessons so whilst his class were learning to swim ds had to play outside with his 1-1 instead and for 3 years they have just slung him outside to get on with it, not included him in anything at all, years behind his peers because he’s left to play on the scooters and bikes and make biscuits rather than learn properly (I don’t count a few minutes here and there doing a bit of work as learning really!) and he’s now being taught by dinner ladies and sent home for any excuse under the sun so they don’t have to have him in

His school are apparently outstanding? I think ofsted should be emailed what do you think!

I’ve just had the Senco on the phone, ds is only allowed to school for 2.5 hours a day from tomorrow.

They are at crisis point with him and have phoned the La for advice (ds ehcp co ordinator) they have advised school to reduce his timetable and just keep him for 2.5 hours a day to do his literacy and maths until he goes to special school.

Well the senco said the panel is still going ahead next week but after her conversation with the la yesterday it was just a formality and from what she understands ds will start at SS after February half term.

Basically the options are 2.5 hours a day for his literacy and maths or permanently exclude him on the basis of his challenging behaviour and being at crisis point and not being able to meet his needs.

Be back later just sorting ds.

Big hugs @danni0509

big hugs danni*, how do you feel about that? That’s effectively a whole term.

I think you should push the LA for EOTAS top up if that course of action is agreed.

Sorry to jump on, but been reading your posts @danni0509 and just wanted to say that your son's school sound appalling and I hope you and DS are ok. Why can the move him sooner? What a crock of shit they all are.

And I agree. It is appalling that he was, once again, left out of the class video and didn’t receive his certificate with the rest of his class,or until you chased it.

They do not deserve to be rated as ‘good’ for SEND, they are not inclusive at all. The sooner he is out of there the better.

Thanks.

I’ve spoken to sendiass, she said to wait for his panel on Tuesday they will phone me the same day. She said she knows they have enough evidence to make a desicion the same day as she’s spoke at length with the la and to ds senco so knows what paperwork they have. She thinks everything will be fine but to just wait for the final desicion then she will help me afterwards regarding transitions for ds and all that and if they did say no (can you imagine? Lol!) she will sort everything for the tribunal out with me.

She said whatever I do don’t agree for a permanent exclusion with the school (I wouldn’t of done anyway) but if it came to that before he leaves for special school to phone her ASAP. She’s phoning me again next week after panel.

Then I had to let the Ed phycologist know because Thursday I have that early bird plus in the afternoon and now don’t have anyone for ds and she seemed quite horrified at it all so she’s going to phone me in the morning when ds is at school for 2.5 hours to talk about it.

Ds has broken his trampoline this afternoon he’s ripped all the jumping mat away from the springs so cannot be used at all, can’t even bodge it because if he fell threw it when jumping up to the moon and back he’d snap his legs in half half
of it is just hanging to the floor,

it’s a plum 6ft one with enclosure but they are out of stock for the spare mat. 😒 I put him on that all the time so that’s just what I need.

I’m scouring the internet now for a spare part I’m not buying a full thing as the rest of it is ok. And it took me and dh practically a day to put up so don’t want to do that again.

Ds has used it nearly every day for 2 years, never mind school at crisis point I am without that thing x

danni when it rains, it pours . I hope you can find a part soon. How on earth did he manage to pull it off!

Went to see the special school. Totally amazing. Head showed us round and was really good with DS. He pretendy not pretendy.hit out at one point and the head just made a joke of saying 'excuse me, sir' which DS found really funny. How do I make this happen??! The head even said DS reminds him of lots of their current kids with asd and sensory issues...have a zoom meeting with current school senco tomorrow, don't know whether to mention it, think I might.

Ooh, keen to know which school it is Lottie if you could pm me. Don’t worry if you’d rather not. I think the first thing is to push for the EHCP and then try to get the school named. I don’t think you can access SS without an EHCP. I may be wrong.

I think so too @openupmyeagereyes we have the EHCP process underway but still waiting to hear about the draft plan...argh. paperwork was submitted in July but apparently they have 20 weeks to issue the plan or decide not to issue...fnargle!

Did they do the assessment?

Assessment??

Oh the needs assessment? Yes panel have agreed to assess and we've had more meetings with EP, OT has observed in school, etc. Trying to work out when the 20 weeks are up!

I think it’s 20 weeks from when they received the application. If you get invited to a planning meeting then it’s virtually guaranteed. 🤞

That’s what our LA SALT told us anyway.

Thanks @openupmyeagereyes senco is now chasing the planning meeting!

Another quickie don’t get much time in a morning now having to get ds at lunch. I’m typing at speed 😆

Basically the La Ed psych (I do that weekly early bird plus course with her so I’m speaking to her a lot lately) I’m not trusting that she has ds best interests at heart, hear me out and make your own decision.

So she hasn’t actually met ds, when he had previous EP involvement it was with the old EP, so this new one who he has now (well she’s not new to the job she’s actually the senior one, but she’s new to ds) hasn’t been able to come into school on the two occasions school booked her because of covid so she hasn’t ever seen ds) Anyway if you remember we did that google meet with her last month, there was me, the senco, ds class teacher and the Ep, she recommended some things to school, now and next, visual timetables, reduced language, just v standard stuff we have all be doing for years, specialist teacher recommended all of this at the start of reception ffs, so it annoyed me that actually as asif we wouldn’t of tried all that anyway and as I said ds is way way past this point.

His senco was like look we have done all of that plus more with ds for years, then senco mentioned loads of other stuff they have tried.

So when I emailed EP to tell her I can’t do Thursday afternoon course anymore as have no childcare for ds with school only allowing him in during the morning she phoned me yesterday morning to have a chat, she asked me what was going on and to tell her so when I explained everything about school being at crisis point (she also knows he’s never in the classroom and always being sent home, senco actually told her this herself) she was like ds school sound like they need some up to date autism training as you aren’t the only parent having issues with them and that she was thinking that they need some new strategies.

(basically one of the parents on the same course, her ds is in same class as my ds, but no offence - her little boy doesn’t have any 1-1 at all and copes fine at school, mum said he masks and because school fail to find the issues she talks about she is at loggerheads with school for not giving him any support - so she’s the other person I’m talking about who has told the EP she is also not happy with school) the two boys in the same class are worlds apart anyway so my differences with school are completely different to the other mums differences so that annoyed me as if we were in the same boat which we definitely aren’t.

So then anyway, (I’m getting to it!) the EP said I’m wondering if we get ds school on some up to date autism training and give them some new strategies to try for a period of time it would enable ds to stay where he is 😡 so this is where LA crafty tactics come in then clearly.

You could employ temple bloody grandin as his dedicated 1-1 in there and it won’t make the blindest bit of difference my mind is not changing. He needs a specialist school. Not some ta’s having a bit more training and chucked a bit more money, the school are absolutely shit, discriminatory and poor and useless and shit and and and and 😡

I’m just stressed by it because as you know the EP feedback and recommendations really sway a panel decision.

And what you need to bare in mind is Tuesdays panel this same EP is on it (!)

She’s made previous comments to me like, oh this early bird plus course will help you to deal with ds behaviour and school should have a copy of the manual as it will help them too (it won’t it’s absolutely basic!) I think she wants school to try some of her new stuff (sticker charts most likely) and see how it goes.

I agree school need some up to date autism training to support the other children such as the other little boy and his family etc but not ds Christ. It’s like sticking a plaster over a gaping hole.

I said to her, no I’m way past that point I don’t want him at mainstream anymore I want specialist school. School have tried absolutely everything and just cannot meet his needs anymore, I’ll wait for my panel decision and take it from there and she seemed a bit taken back by my response but we’ll see.

I just don’t understand how she can have the weight behind her to recommend xyz at the panel when she hasn’t even met ds.

Mind boggling.

Anyway ds senco (even though school piss me off, she knows this, I’ve even told her this) is actually ok, she’s really trying to help me sort this out and said she does work at home on it all filling out various bits and bobs for more evidence. And she’s assured me she’s sent absolutely everything she can in and she can’t see how they would refuse. And sendiass actually said xxxx has put a lot of effort into ds paper work she’s told me what she’s sent in and it’s more than sufficient.

So that’s all good. Just wait for Tuesday and see what happens x