Primary school auties: summer and beyond - thread 5

[openupmyeagereyes]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Dimples hope this week goes quickly for you! Ds can’t add up at all like literally doesn’t have a clue about adding or subtracting, maths is deffo not a strong point for Ds.

Hope everyone is ok.

Ds got put up to yellow band reading books Friday, but only after i emailed his teacher and said he’s read all of the red books she had on his bug club online thing. So she said I’ll put him up to yellow and she’s added some new books but I don’t think she would of just done it I think my email pushed it, anyway he’s read 2 today and done ok although quite hard words to be honest, he’s got 28 books on there now so I’ll keep working through them with him some are 16/18 pages long and his attention span doesn’t cope with that so I’ll do half a book one night then half the next night and so on.

Friday when she said she would put him up to yellow, I’m thinking wow Ds good job! etc then just checked tonight average book band for yr 2 and bang back to reality. He’s about 7 or 8 reading bands behind the average yr2. God only knows what words those sort will have in! He was on pink band the whole of reception and red band the whole of yr1 so he’s making really slow progress but never mind.

Don’t know why I wind myself up 😂

It’s not ds who winds me up btw!

Just the normal kids who can do everything effortlessly. 🤣

Blood sweat and tears for 2 solid years every day getting him to read with me then I see the average kid is still about 8 bands higher than him, sometimes feels like a kick in the teeth all the effort ive put in. Not ds fault obvs. I still like to have my pity party though 😆

It’s hard not to compare isn’t it danni. Ds has just been moved up to the equivalent of stage 4 (school has its own levels) so not much further ahead though he does seem to be making good progress.

dimples that sounds good. Hopefully he will engage with it once he gets used to the idea.

In September DS's school put all the kids on the level below the level they were on in March - I am sure so that they could (falsely) claim that the school had really brought the kids on.

It is hard not to compare isn't it. DS's report from March last year stated that he was meeting expectations but now in Year 2 his reading book is term 1, year 1 level. He reads to me every day so I don't really understand what is happening there.

Ds went to sleep at 9 last night I went to bed around half ten and then ds has been up since 1.10am 😩

I can’t even grab an hour today as I’ve got places to be.

So tired.

Oh danni that’s tough. Do you always have to be up with him yourself or does dh help out? Dh and I do shifts when ds wakes this early. Lots of needed!

I’m sure reading comes in bursts where they improve suddenly. Ds spent about 9 months sounding out and blending every single cvc word. I thought it would never stop but it did.

No open I’m practically a single parent with ds as Dh is always at work, i won’t start about that one though no energy!

You need to clear your schedule this week and timetable some naps. It’s very hard for one person to manage

Fuming with school yet AGAIN.

Headteacher phoned me at 12. Pick ds up, he’s taken all of his clothes off (funny that bcos he can’t undress himself!) and 3 members of staff can’t get him dressed, he’s messed himself you need to collect him as soon as possible.

She was horrid on the phone!

Sorry danni, last thing you need today.

Well I collected him, his teacher bought him out with 2 other support staff, so he’d had a pooh and when they’ve tried to clean him up he started taking his trousers, socks & shoes off (fair enough, he can get bottom half off just not his top half) then he started wiping his hand in it and smearing it all over, well when I picked him up he was covered, it was in his hair on his face all over his polo top collar and jumper she passed me a black bag it was on his coat and shoes they had to send him out in spare wellies.

He has 3 full sets of clothes in his bag he takes every day but they sent him out in the pooey (even a word?) ones.

He smelt terrible so he’s been hosed down in the shower now and I’ve put him pyjamas on (he’s off to bed at 6.30 after last night 🤣)

Obviously I would of picked him up and bought him home to shower him no problem would never leave him at school smelling like he did, but the head teachers tone 😡

She was like you need to pick ds up ASAP he’s covered in pooh he’s not letting anyone get him dressed etc etc it’s the way she spoke to me like she was utterly pissed off at my autistic child smearing pooh.

Had it with that school.

Oh Danni that sounds tough.

danni I hope you had a better night. Ds has been up since 3:40 today

I do think that in general most people have no idea of the behaviours some autistic children can have. You’d think teachers would be more aware but many don’t seem to be.

Dropped ds off at 8.45 just got to Tesco phone rang, school. Pick ds up he needs 48 hours off he’s been sick in his mouth.

So I said yes he’s always sick in his mouth, he does it when he’s excited and just for the fun of it, last week he did it after he ate some bread and sicked all the bread on my kitchen floor he like burps and refluxes it into his mouth but on purpose rather than anything being wrong with him. Then he says sometimes oh no I’ve been sick I don’t feel very well (even though he’s fine, he associates sick with being poorly)

She said no you need to pick him up, so I went and got him she said see you Friday, I said no, 48 hours is Thursday morning so I’ll see you Thursday morning. If he’s been ‘sick’ at 9.10 on a Tuesday morning he will be back 9.10 on Thursday morning, not Friday morning.

Ds went to me, mummy i was sick, i said you always are at this school (I said this in front of his teacher) and she looked at me like utter shit opened the door and just walked off.

Bye, have a nice day 😘

Fucking sick of them, I’m sure they sit there every morning and conjure up a plan on how to send ds home.

Oh and he keeps having a dinner lady for his 1-1 not just for dinner but for mornings and afternoons aswell, I’m phoning the LA today. Would you be happy with an old frail dinner lady (although she’s nice) ‘educating’ your child?

The year 2 team in his school are horrid, I’m not even just saying it, year 1 and reception I got on great with, this year it’s nothing but problems. Communication between me and them has well and truly broken down since he started year 2.

I can’t stand any of them.

I told his class teacher I’m not happy with school and everything going on since he started year 2, she’s also head of year 2. I was ranting away in Tesco to her but I don’t even care how I sound anymore. They need to be told. I’ve been nothing but nice with them but they are taking the piss.

He’s been sent home 6 times since the start of yr2, mixture of illegal exclusions and any old made up bullshit.

If ds was poorly fine, and if he happened to be (poorly sick) today or tomorrow I’ll eat my words and happily admit I’m an arsehole 🤣 but I know he won’t be.

Oh and well I’m on one! he went into school with clean school uniform on at 8.45 I picked him up at 9.20 so 35 minutes later and he was head to toe in mud, I’ve taken pictures.

So as soon as he’s in school, he’s being thrown straight outside to play out there, literally as soon as I’ve walked out the gate.

It’s not right any of it, they are shocking how continue to behave.

They continue to behave. Missed a word out.

Would you be happy with an old frail dinner lady (although she’s nice) ‘educating’ your child?

No, I absolutely would not be. I can’t believe the LA would be either. You should speak to SENDIASS.

I’m sorry all this is happening, when is the panel for the SS decision?

I can speak to La but his school will lie about it they seem to often change their version of events to suit them.

They say his 1-1 is miss xxxx (TA) in the morning and miss xxxx (TA) in the afternoon but miss xxxx (dinner lady) is the one who has him all the time at the moment, she’s the one who cleaned his accident yesterday she’s the one he’s been ‘sick’ with this morning she’s the one who brings him out at the end of the day a lot and when I say to ds which I regularly do which adult did you have today? he says miss xxxxx (dinner lady)

I know she’s a dinner lady she’s on the school website named as one! And during lockdown she said oh hi I’m miss xxxxxx usually a dinner time supervisor but helping out through lockdown.

His school panel is next Tuesday! Week today. I find out the same afternoon bcos sendiass is phoning the La and ringing me to let me know x

I think I mentioned on here before that he keeps having a dinner lady, I’m sure I did i remember writing it.

It’s been happening for a while now x

Some of our school TAs are also lunch supervisors.

Not long to wait. I would feed all this back to LA via SENDIASS though. It adds more weight to the decision.

This one is the school morning cleaner, lunch supervisor and now teaching ds 😂 she must be frazzled!

Oh @danni0509 that all sounds so awful! Shocking of the school, sounds like they might be trying to force a move to me. Poor DS.
My anxiety is high at the mo generally and I hate doing the school run. We are going to see a special school tomorrow so will have a clearer idea then maybe. I can't see DS coping much longer than reception, he tells me how loud it is and how he doesn't get the other kids, hes overwhelmed and anxious. Bless our kids, they have so.much more to deal with all the time, and they're so much less resilient than NT kids.
I have a zoom meeting on Thurs with school so will see what they say then and how that goes. Still haven't heard about our EHCP.
Good luck with the panel decision!