Meeting with midwives

[needmorecoffee]

After 3 and a half years of asking to see DD's birth notes and NICU notes its finally going to happen. A meeting has been set up with the midwives who were at her birth and the head of midwifery so they can tell me what they think went wrong.
I'm also going to make complaints about the lack of care afterwards.
Neither midwife came to see me after the birth or even asked if DD survived.
No-one checked to see if the birth was complete so I got a hideous infection and needed 2 blood transfusions
The hospital ward was filthy
Women with sick babies were in with women with 'normal' babies
After DD left NICU there was no follow up, no information given about what to expect andno support
we just took her home andnever got any follow up appointments for a baby they said was severely brain damaged
The one glimpse I got of the notes (about 3 hours after DD'sbirth) had tipexed out bits already! They then whisked them away when they saw Ihad them, never t be seen again

I don't know if there was any fault or if it was one of those things but I'd like to know why and what went wrong. Normal 7 hour first stage, half an hour of pushing and DD was born grey and not breathing and I lost 4 pints of blood. More blood than is normal at a birth I'm guessing. The midwife turned away at the crucialmoment to get something and DD shot out and hit the floor 2 feet away. I always wonder about that,

Anyone ever had ameeting like this?

really sorry that you had such a terrible experience, and that your daughter was born brain damaged

I would make some notes, all the questions you want answered, as you are likely to be emotional, and don;t want to forget anything.

make sure you have someone with you..can your DH go?

sounds like you had a post partum heamorrhage, normal blood loss is up to 500 ml, IIRC

was there not a second midwife there at delivery? am at baby shooting out like that, with the MW looking away...

i hope you get some answers

What a stressful time, I am so sorry for the lack of care and consideration that you both received.

You can ask to have an independent person there to translate the notes for you (my GP told me this), contact your hospitals PALS dept they may be able to give you some advice.

I had a meeting about my birth, but a few days later. Unfortunately was unable to concentrate as Ds was being ruched back into NICU for the 3rd time (they kept assuring me he didn't need the support).

My birth notes were a complete fabrication, which I realised at the time and took a copy of them before they went back to the MW/HV.

I hope it goes well for you and you get some answers.

How appalling, nothing of value to add, sorry but I hope things go as you hope.xx

Meeting is on 5th september. Feeling a bit nervous. I don't think anyone was at fault but I want to know 'when' the brain damage happened. Was it because I insited ona vaginal delivery?
Its for my own peace of mind really.
But I do want to rant about appalling after-care for women in my position. And how dare the midwife claim to be more traumatised tahn me and never come see us or ask if DD was even alive.

Well good luck, the midwife needs a good talking too, more traumatised than you indeed grrr. I understand that you need to know, I would if it were me too.

The more traumatised than you thing is awful! Bloody chek! More GUILTY than you yes...

At our hospital, placing mums with cik abbies on the same ward as those with their babies is the norm, my Sitere had her lad in NICU for a month, and she had bad effects pre-eclampsia so was kept on the ante-natal ward (which was just ojne end of the main maternity unit- have known women losing babies palced on there as well).

DS1 wasn't nearlya s sicka s your DD though was a horrendously botched birth / pg (eclampsia diagnosed after a MW saw me fit excused by the receiving hispital as nwerves despite bp of 160, all ocnsultants too busy to attend labour, no anaesthetist and lost bloods preventing cs for baby whose notes state was severely dstrressed with concerns etc etc etc). We were lucky (I do think it contributes to his aggression etc, and he ahd IUGR but thats it) but I know how much it hit me over the years- so really admire you for taking it up with the MW, I never had the guts (a new Obs reviewed my notes to confirm dx of eclamopsia a few years after). Good luck for your meeying and I hope you come out feeling empowered. Have you spoken to AIMS (association for improvements in maternity services), they have a website and migt be useful