Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Merry xmas all! DS opened presents and insisted on dressing as a knight. Currently watching Shane the chef. Dh got me the stranger things stuff I asked for too and a photo book of 2019, so that's all good! I think xmas day is better since I stopped putting all these expectations on us all to have the stereotypical day and just let us do things our own way. Trickier tomorrow when we visit BiL and family though as they do xmas like its come straight out the 'how to do xmas' book!!

Merry Christmas! Hope everyone had a good day?

Love Stranger Things Lottie remind me of growing up in the 80s! Might have played a bit od D&D in the 90s too!

Just the 3 of us here today after DFIL and dog left to go to SIL earlier this morning. DD has coped quite well, all things considered. She's still on antibiotics but much better than Saturday when we ended up at Urgent Care Centre.

Christmas cheers to everyone

Lottie we love Stranger Things too. I’m glad Christmas Day went well and I hope today was manageable with you BIL’s family.

Little so sorry dd ended up at urgent care last week, I’m glad she coped well yesterday and hope she’s a bit better again today.

We had a lovely day yesterday. Ds was thrilled with his presents and we had no tantrums or meltdowns. He didn’t eat lunch with us but that’s ok. PILs were here yesterday afternoon but it’s just been us today, playing with toys and watching TV.

Christmas Day ds woke at 3am. Lots of asking ‘is it Christmas morning yet?’. He was really good though and stayed in bed (I think the ‘talk throughs’ are working). After about an hour and a quarter (😱) he went back to sleep which I did not expect. He woke up again just after 6 which was much more tolerable!

Sounds like a lovely Christmas Day open, great that your DS went back to sleep. 6 am is a more acceptable time to get up DD did wake at 5:25 but managed to get her to stay in bed until 6 am too.

We had a chilled out day yesterday too. DD played BV with new toys and watched films. Got some relatives popping in for coffee later but not staying long so hopefully ok. DH has arranged a walk and brunch with old school friends tomorrow, I'm quite apprehensive about it as not sure DD will cope with with the sort of brunch they might be expecting, i e opportunity to catch up. I'm not sure he's though it through!

Random BV in there

Hope everyone had a nice Christmas/Boxing Day. Ds was brilliant on Christmas Day, but more stressed on Boxing Day when he realised that there weren't any more presents.
We had a very quiet day yesterday where ds managed to build a lego set for 7 year olds with minimal help! I was super impressed as it was huge.
He's pretty riled up this morning so think we'll get them out to the park today for a run around.

Hope your trip to BIL's went ok Lottie. I agree, abandoning expectations is the way to go!

Hope dd is feeling a bit better littleswede.

Brilliant about ds going back to sleep on Christmas Day Open.

That is impressive Liv, DD loves Lego! Sounds like you had a good Christmas Day. Boxing day can be a bit of an anti climax sometimes. Park trip sounds like a good idea

We've had a quiet few days now but off fur the walk and brunch later. We talked about skipping the actual brunch bit though depending on how walk goes. DD has (temporarily??) stopped her frequent toilet trips so a walk might be possible. She's been getting anxious about proximity to toilets a lot which has affected weekend plans a bit during the autumn term. We saw GP before Christmas break and she is referring DD to a paediatrician to rule out any physical issue.

Hope everyone is enjoying their breaks.

Little I hope the brunch went ok and that you and dh got a chance to catch up with friends for a little while. Sometimes it can help if one of you can field dc while the other relaxes a bit and take turns. I hope it worked out anyway.

liv I’m glad you had a great Christmas Day and well done to your ds for his Lego skills! Ds is getting there and can often build smaller items from looking at the pictures but needs help with following the instructions on bigger projects.

We’ve had a good few days, quite low key. We managed to get ds out in the garden yesterday afternoon with a bit of badgering. he wasn’t keen but I set a timer for 15 mins and told him he could go back inside when it went off. After a few minutes of being outside he was fine and ignored it when it went off. He stayed out for around 30-40 mins which I’ll take. We were out and about a bit today so we’ll try again tomorrow.

He’s been sleeping until around 6am most days, though often up briefly a couple of times a night. Last night he slept through which was nice. It would be nice if 6am became the norm but I won’t hold my breath

I’m trying to organise plans to catch up with various people next week. Ds has his 6th birthday very soon, I can’t believe it.

Those 6 am mornings sound good open, hope it continues! Good that your DS went outside in the garden for a bit too. What does he like doing in the garden?

We've struggled to get DD out of the house/ into the garden as she was poorly for the first few days of the holidays and then it was Christmas etc. Today we managed 15-20 minutes of frizbee throwing and ball chasing and yesterday she did some scootering on the green opposite our house for a whole 35 minutes! We didn't quite make the walk yesterday for various reasons. DH went by himself in the end though so at least one of us had some time socialising DD had a McDonald's after scootering, which was probably be biggest 'fill' of food for a good week, so am quite happy with that.

I might steal that 15 minutes timer idea open, DD desperately needs fresh air but is often reluctant to leave the house. She's pretty much lived in her Christmas PJ's since we broke up from school

We have had a nice Christmas. DS woke at 3am on Christmas morning but was persuaded to go back to sleep. I have probably tried to do too much as usual. Today we had our first quiet day and had a lovely time playing with his new Playmobil. This afternoon we went for a walk/scoot with my Mum which started off well but ended with DS trying to stop us both from talking. I am a bit apprehensive about the next couple of days which involve more socialising....

6am sounds a bit improvement open! Glad everyone seems to have had a good Christmas! Ours was good too though DD is pretty exhausted. Today was our first day with the house to ourselves (previously either staying at rellies or with rellies at ours) and you could see her kind of "breathe out"... slightly anxious/challenging behaviour but nothing bad. We are going to try the science museum again tomorrow I think, and then she has a sleepover on NYE (friends coming here) so hopefully she'll be a bit refreshed by the time we get there. We have friends visiting from the US coming for dinner tomorrow night. I don't know how we always seem to end up crazily scheduled but in many ways it seems to suit the kids to always have a plan ... bit exhausting but it seems to just turn out that way. Might try to schedule in a bit more "just us" time as a New Year's resolution.

I've also been thinking that given it seemed to work fine when I was out one morning a week to do the Early Bird course before Christmas I might try to keep that up just to keep on top of house stuff. DS will be at nursery in term time so our nanny will be out and I could have the house to myself for a couple of hours one morning a week and just try to restore some order. Seems like we are always running behind, and it might help: though I'm a bit worried I'll just spend it drinking tea and watching YouTube! Still, worth a go I think. It's a luxury still having our nanny this year so I'm going to try to make the most of it to really shift my balance away from work and towards home before I'm forced to do it the year after!

Anyway, I should turn in, but thought I would check in!

Glad you've had a good few days open. And 6am sounds like heaven. Ds has been consistently getting up at 5am eugh. Good idea about the timer to get him outside.

Well done on getting her to eat little. I think ds has been surviving on air this week!

Hope that ds was ok with the socialising dimples.

That's a good plan light. It is so great having the house to yourself for a bit. I always I imagine I'm going to do lots of sorting and organising and I the end up on the sofa watching ER . Hope the science museum went ok.

Ds has been super anxious the last couple of days. Lots of sensory seeking and not really knowing what to do with himself. Thankfully dh is giving me a day off today so I can go to the gym and generally sort myself out a bit!

I actually can't believe it's going to be 2020 tomorrow!

Little we had a blip yesterday but today it was some time between 5:30-6.

See if a timer, for 5 mins even, works to get dd out. You can increase it slightly every few days or so. Ds went out for half an hour in the garden with no bother yesterday and we played frisbee and a bit of football. This afternoon we’ve had family over and he hasn’t been out but we will tomorrow.

dimples I’m glad you had a good Christmas and I hope that the last couple of days have been ok.

Light glad you had a good one too. Trying to carve out some more time for yourself at home sounds like a good plan for 2020 if that’s what you want.

liv I hope ds has relaxed a bit and that you enjoyed your day off.

I’d like to wish everyone on the thread a happy new year and say thank you for all the support this year. I hope 2020 is a great year for us all 🥂

Yes, thank you for all the support this year and I hope that 2020 is a good one for us all.

We tried the panto again today - total failure! I thought that I had lost my parking ticket too and had a little cry at all the wasted money and my poor choices. DS came and put his arm around me and told me everything would be alright . Fortunately I realised that I must have accidentally passed it to my Mum with the theatre tickets - unfortunately this did mean taking DS back into the theatre. DS was v brave.

We are staying at my Mum's tonight and were having a nice, calm bedtime earlier when DS fell off the bed clonking his head on the wall on the way down. So he now has an egg on his head and is up to high jinks with his cousins!

Ds is in bed, I'm going up at half 10, I don't do New Year's Eve. Miserable cow

Ds been poorly over Xmas, not that you'd know, 39.5 temp for 3 days and he's still as mad as a hatter. Crazy crazy child. I went in his bedroom xmas night and he said 3 things hurt mum, I said what? He said your head, your back, your tummy get Simon calpol. A year ago he never knew how to tell me he was in pain!

Be glad for him to be back at school, back to his routine, he's been asking how many days until school.

Liv we have had loads of sensory seeking, he's always been a massive sensory seeker anyway, but I can understand why this time of the year it goes mental. What sort of sensory seeking does your ds do? Mine flaps his hands constant anyway I always say he looks like he's about to take off lol, he head rams, licks, runs up and down, makes a lot of Asd type noises, he's very grabby and squeezey etc is that the sort of thing you mean? Hope you enjoyed the gym. I'm restarting in the new year to get a size 8 beach bod for my summer holiday (I say this every single year )

Dimples hope ds head is ok, ds has been an egg head more times than I remember. Hope he settles down soon.

Light hope sleepover is going well.

Open likewise, thanks for all the support ❤️

Little ds has lived in his pyjamas a lot this half term so don't worry, I took him to Tesco and thought will I get away with him wearing his coat over his jamas! I only get him dressed when we are going out and just lately that hasn't been a lot, I don't have the energy to wrestle him outdoors anymore. Very boring staying in but we find things to do or he goes on the trampoline in the garden, summer is better we practically live in the park when the weather is better. Sometimes they need chill time so don't feel bad.

Here's to a calm, happy, productive 2020 for us and all our children.

Happy New Year 😘

Happy new year!

Thanks light it was a nice day. Ds spent all day watching this really weird Korean cartoon on Netflix, which kept him calm all day. Not so great when it was switched off but got him down fairly quickly.

Well done for braving the panto dimples! Hope ds's head is ok.

With the rate of your weight loss danni I'm sure it's achievable!
Ds has never really flapped. He does lots of vocal stimming and echolalia which gets louder and more repetitive the more stressed he is. The most annoying one at the moment is the one that sounds like he's gathering spit.
He then also gets manic and violent/destructive. Lashes out at me and his sister, runs into furniture, pushes things off shelves/tables.
He used to headbang lots but now only does that if he's super stressed. Annoying as it is lashing out at other people is actually progress from being completely self destructive.

Here's looking forward to another 5am start yawn!

We don't have any head banging here he used to bite his arms, sometimes still does particularly when anxious but that's as far as it goes, but hell yes to the manic outbursts and pushing things off tables, throwing things, crashing into furniture and generally just trashing the house for the sake of it. He throws a lot and that really drives me mad! he takes chunks out the walls, the iPad gets lobbed down the stairs all the time I've banned it from going up now as I can't afford to get it fixed.

Arghhh! you have all my sympathy liv and I feel for you having a dd too

So much for 10.30 bed, I was asleep until about ten to 12, fireworks must of been buy 1 box get 10 boxes free at the corner shop!

The fireworks woke me at midnight too danni, then ds was awake from 2-3:30

Still, I’m feeling happy and positive about this year.

As of this morning I have 10lb that I’d like to lose (3 seem to have crept on over the last few days...). Lucy Wyndham-Read’s workouts on YouTube are great, I’m going to get back to those and walking, alternating daily.

Yesterday I bought Feel better in 5 by Dr Chatterjee. I really like the idea of building in small, manageable activities into the day. I’ve read 3/4 of it and started this morning with a breathing exercise ✅

I want to write a list of goals to work on with ds this year. I think adding a new food and drinking from an open cup will feature. I also want to get back to properly using the Calmer, easier, happier techniques consistently.

dimples I’m sorry the panto didn’t work out. We have to keep trying these things occasionally though

Dh and I always discuss the fact that when we try and do certain things there’s a good chance ds will not want to do it so we are prepared for that eventuality should it happen. It doesn’t always prevent the disappointment but it does help mostly.

I hope ds’ head is ok and that he settled down in the end.

danni how great ds can now tell you when he’s poorly. I’d forgotten about Simon calpol, I love that

liv the Korean cartoon sounds interesting! Ds often watches foreign stuff on YouTube, it doesn’t seem to bother him. I hope you didn’t have too early a start.

Thankfully ds isn’t a massive sensory seeker and he’s generally not destructive. His stim is mostly running up and down, sometimes with little head twists and turns or flinging his arms about. He sometimes visually stims too and looks at things from different angles. Lots of singing and chatter but dh and I aren’t allowed to sing

DS stayed up til Midnight as did his cousins. It was actually the nicest New Year's Eve I have had in years. We thought that today would be trial but until the last hour or so it has been fairly plain sailing - phew!

DS's sensory seeking mostly involves putting things in his mouth and bouncing around a lot - he often skips rather than walking. The most problematic one (for me) is that he pulls his hair out and now has a massive bald patch on his head (we are seeing CAMHS about this in February)

Open I have been told by DS that I can only sing indoors. Without meaning to be boastful I can sing quite well and DS seems quite musical so it's a shame for me

We are away at the mo and stims have definitely become exacerbated! Lots of running, barging into us, blowing raspberries, random singing repeated lines from songs, shouting. We have generally an issue with DS running with rugs, duvets, cushions etc. All sensory seeking we think. And yet, still hates hand dryers! Happy New Year all.

Ds slept until 6:40 this morning. A rare occurrence indeed

Woo hoo that's good open!

Sleepover went well. They didn't get a huge amount of sleep (kept appearing downstairs until nearly 11... but seemed happy!) but didn't wake up until 6.45 so that was really good given there are 3 of them (and one of them usually wakes up at 3am and has never stayed away from home without her parents before, so I was kind of braced to have to ring her parents in the middle of the night as she has some sensory issues and none of us were very confident she would be able to settle again if she did wake up! But as it turns out, she was happy when she did wake up, had a little wobble about our stair carpet being scratchy after breakfast but resolved easily with socks, and happily played with DD and her other friend until she got picked up at 9am). I was really bracing myself for a difficult night! It's a bit of a boost for her family as they've just pulled their DD out of school and are going to home school for a bit, and I think they're just in a bit of life where anything that can go wrong will: so it was lovely that she got a confidence boost as I think her school were really pulling her down and she'd been really anxious.