How did you know?

[Belikemetwee]

I’m just after some advice as I really don’t know if the behaviour of my nearly 4 year is typical for his age. There’s always been something about his behaviour which has planted a small seed at the back of my mind.

As a baby he used to head bang on a daily basis. This then progressed to biting the back of his hand whenever he was sad, angry, happy etc. He did this until about 2.5 years old when suddenly it stopped.

He’s always been very articulate and quick to move etc so we put a lot of the behaviour down to him being frustrated.

As he’s developed he’s always had a very bad temper, he just sees red which often develop into meltdowns which we cannot get him to snap out of. These were so bad that we got the health visitor involved who insisted the behaviour was typical for a 3/4 year old. The tantrums have lessened a bit over the last 6 months but when they are bad they impact the whole family, ie we have to plan activities around his moods.

He’s very stubborn and won’t let me help with anything, anytime I try he throws a tantrum.

I’m also concerned as he has been toilet trained for a year now but still has an accident (or more) every day and will happily just sit in pee pants. It’s like he has no awareness or simply does not care.

He is a bright little boy, will sit and draw for 45 mins at a time, will put together quite complicated jigsaws etc. Again though this worries me a little, he’s better at these tasks than his 5 year old brother.

I’m not sure whether this could point towards something but it’s a niggle we’ve had since he was around 1 years old and it’s never fully gone away. I should say my brother has Aspergers so it is perhaps making me analysis my son’s behaviour more.

I have had a really tough week with him, on off tantrums and the only time he is soothed is when he gets 1-2-1 time which isn’t always possible as he has a sibling who also needs us. I’m considering reaching out for help again but I’m unsure who to turn to. I went to the toilet earlier and came into the room to him fighting his brother (bigger) who is now covered in scratches :(

An Early Years Practioner told me that if a parent thinks there is something wrong with/different about (wrong was her word, I prefer different!) there usually is.

I knew there was something different about my child from about two, maybe three. I just thought he was very bright and also doing things in a bit of a different order from most other kids. In hindsight there were clear signs from before he turned one. Other people, including his preschool, didn't see it. It finally clicked when he was nearly four, once I'd done a lot of reading about autism rather than just the headlines, if you see what I mean.

Make a list of all the things that you think are different about him. Make an appt to speak to your GP. The GP receptionist said it was fine to do this without my DC present. Tell your GP you think your DC has autism. They'll ask you why/to give examples of their behaviour then hopefully refer you.

If you have drop in SALT (speech and language) sessions where you are, go to one of them too, even if your DS is a complete chatterbox. Say the same thing to them. They will hopefully refer you on to a specialist SALT.

Thank you, this is really good advice. Similarly our son’s nursery have not flagged up anything, if anything they think I’m mad when I ask about his behaviour as he can “control” himself there. This has also made me doubt my concerns, he can behave awfully at home and in public but at nursery he is an absolute angel (within reason!).

I think GP is the right step, I feel I need to air my concerns with someone who has specialist knowledge in this area.

Thank you for sharing your experiences