Auties transition to Year 1 - thread 3

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in reception year at school, going into Year 1 in the autumn. All welcome (also parents with older or younger children who want to ask questions or share their wisdom!)

Welcome!

Bugger. That is annoying. A lot of GPs are clueless on SEN though, and probably just don't want to get embroiled. Good that your DS spoke up for himself but heartbreaking that he doesn't feel he is allowed any help in Year 1!

Have you heard any more from SENDIASS on when they could support you with a meeting?

And I would definitely try your MP if you haven't. This is what they are there for!

I'm sorry it must be really upsetting. Sending hugs and gin (or whatever your survival mechanism of choice is).

Will school send home worksheets for you that you can do while he is off?

I'm sorry the GP was so unhelpful Harley. As light said it is great your ds felt able to speak up for himself and very sad that he feels that he is not entitled to help.

Harley I’m gutted for you. I feel that the next step is to lean on SENDIASS to push for support in school. Or you start looking elsewhere.

Me and dh have decided he wont be going back till hes 100% hes very run down keeps complaing of heads has a awful cough and runny nose and is struggling with sleep. We wilm send him back once hes back to himself but we wilk be pushing ahead to get more support and help with sendiass.

The school finally took the incontinence nurses phone call thos afternoon and the senco tried to tell her that the school and school nurse don't believe he suffer from constipation the incontinence nurse told her in her professional opnion and expertise of her job he is constipated and needs the medication to manage his with holding behaviours.

Thank you for all your kind words and support @LightTripper @livpotter @Openupmyegareyes

Also everyone thank you everyone for all your support and kind words.

Harley sorry your school are still being arseholes. Have you decided if / when you are sending ds back? Do you have a meeting with school to discuss why you are unhappy?

Apart from ds being on a reduced timetable for the first year I can't complain about his school, ds is happy there and he is very well supported. I'm greatful for that.

Still struggling to get him to do his homework, he has to write words in his phonics book ending with ng and er this week, I got him to write ring and sing in his book earlier and it was not worth the 20 minute kick off for 2 words. I was going to get him to write king but he can't write the k so left it.

Tonight ds read me a reading book from bug club (that's the reading scheme his school use) the book was called my sleeping cat or something like that, it had words in like eating, sleeping, playing etc. Ds read it, I checked to see what level it was thinking these words are a bit harder and it's still only level 1 suprised that's a level 1 with words like that.

He hasn't had any new books put on since before summer holidays and he has had the same reading book in his book bag since the week he went back... only so many times he will read the same book!

His school are so bizarre.

If he has prescribed medication how can they decide he does not need it?

I've read some shit in my time......

Im totally with you on not wanting your ds to be there, I would not want my ds there either!

They sound delightful.

@danni0509 i told the incontinence nurse that i wasnt happy with how they are treating us regarding his medication and there lack of trust on what i told them and why he needs it because they don't feel he does. We are actually struggling to get him to have it at the moment as he says school have told him he doesn't need it.

Harley it’s not for them to make medical decisions. Is ds still ok toileting at home?

danni if your ds was reading those words then I wouldn’t worry about the given level as that’s big progress from where he was a while back regardless.

Can you get him to do spelling on an app for now if the writing is a struggle? A parent recommended Squeebles to me. You input all your own lists plus you can download generic lists by school year too. I’m going to try ds with it tomorrow for the first time. I don’t expect it to go well but hopefully in time I can get him using it regularly while I continue to work on his writing separately.

@openmyegareyes we have just spent a week where we doubled his laxido and scaled by his routine to stop hom from with holding again and concentrating on him pooing and not stopping himself now we are having proper poos have stepped back up hos toileting routine xxx

Sounds like your incontinence nurse was livid Harley (as you would expect). Good that you and your DH are totally on the same page.

That's a bit weird them always giving DS the same book Danni? Can you ask them? I'm all for giving them books within their ability, but the books are not that exciting at the best of times, let alone when you have the same one on repeat! Maybe look in the library for more? Our library has quite a good collection, so you can at least get some variation...

In ds’ class the children are now expected to change their own reading books - this transpired after the WhatsApp outrage about books not being changed. Ds didn’t have a book for the first couple of weeks, then had the same one for the next couple. It disappeared yesterday and we’re back to no book. He usually refuses to read the school books so it doesn’t matter too much.

Dh has been reading the ORT level 1 books to him which I’m a bit annoyed at as he will learn the words by heart without actually reading them and then they will be useless for actual reading work.

Yes DD is supposed to put hers on the side if she's finished it, and then they give her another one: but they did say that they will keep an eye on it and try to give them a new one if they forget (and school read with them 3 times a week, so they would always get replaced at least once or twice a week even if our DC did nothing and we never read with them at home)... I feel like school should be a backstop, especially at the start of Year 1 ... they have so much more on their plates now than they did in Reception! Though I understand it in a way as before we know it they'll have pencil cases and stuff to look after too - eek! But still, they've got all year to adjust, I don't see why they can't provide a bit more support in the first term while they're all adjusting (and more for our DC if needed).

@LightTripper I completely agree that chances are our kids need an extra helping hand to keep on track with self organisation. I’m not saying they need to do it all for them, as that doesn’t teach them independence, but some kids need independence to be taught. I always recommend (and try to remember to use) “back chaining” to teach skills. It’s where you do everything for the apart from the last step and then you slowly stop the penultimate step and get them to do it and so on and so forth. So I’m the case of reading books a TA might start with modelling the whole routine of changing the book but then might leave them to change the book themselves etc until they can respond to the prompt “go and change your book”. It’s very effective and easy to implement but sometimes the simplest of strategies can be hardest to encourage

Ds has 1:1 support so technically they should be changing them for him but in reality I expect much of the time all their effort is going to be concentrated on managing him. Some days he needs a bit of encouragement and will get on with his work (with choosing time and movement breaks etc.) other days, like yesterday, he won’t really do anything and only wants to play. They do have their work cut out!

Harley I'm glad that the incontinence nurse put them right. My niece who is 7 has terrible issues with constipation and withholding. She has just been referred to an expert in gastro issues and ASD. I'll let you know if they have any helpful advice.

Danni I question some of the reading levels - I agree 'eating' is harder than level 1. I agree with Open he's clearly made a lot of progress with reading.

Open please could you let me know how you find Squeebles. Was pretty amazed that DS successfully spelled 2 out of his 5 words at school. Fortunately he wasn't bothered about the 'fails' and enjoyed my praise. My heart sank though when I turned the page and saw the new list which is six-ten.

I agree Light and Jeb our kids need more scaffolding. School seems so focused on organisational skills. My 7 year old nephew (diagnosed ASD on SEN register and EHC assessment meeting is on Thursday) keeps forgetting to bring home his swimming kit. When I went to the office with him (after 4 days of him forgetting) they were unhelpful and said he needs to learn - brilliant, how?!

DS fell asleep at school yesterday - hoping he's okay today but he's been up since 5:30

dimples could a simple visual ‘going home’ checklist help your nephew?

Open he has one! But he needs someone to remind him to look at it ....
His twin is in the same class and tries to keep him straight. He should be coming home with swimming kit and violin today - I have pretty low hopes.

God dimples that is a lot for a 7 year old to remember. Ds is nearly 6 and doesn't even remember to pull his pants up after the toilet, he walks out the toilet at school / home / anywhere we are with them off. Naked from the the waist down! He doesn't even notice! No chance he would remember his bags or anything else. Good luck for Thursday.

Ds had a swimming lesson this morning with school. First time he's done it. His 1-1 got in the pool with him, I got a phone call at 10.30am, it was school, I answered and was met with a hello mummy you did good at swimming today then everything his 1-1 told him to say he repeated. I heard her saying ds tell mummy your a big boy he was like tell mummy your a big boy, tell mummy what a star you are etc. Bless him.

It was nice they let him phone to tell me how it went.

Right off to collect the child now be back later.

@danni0509 thank you i appricate any advise and help.

Our year 1 class expects all children to handle there own equipment and reading books and they get no support at all. At the end of each day i was constantly sending ds back in for his lunch bag, chnage bag or book bag.

School won't have ds back till they meet with us as her syaff feel vunerable due to my serious allegations. I refused to take him in as my concerns were being ignored. Last year i was being accused of making wild allegations becuae i asked if ds had been sat on anything different or a bije as he had 2 bruise between his leg and i was trying to work out where there had come from due to them being in a unsual place. Apparently that translated to the fact ds being in nappies at the time i was accusing staff of abuse. I am starting to feel that all my quesrions enquires and concerns are going to keep being taking as safeguarding accusations and i am the nasty person who creates fuss.

Or maybe i am that nasty person and being over the top.

danni that is adorable! ❤️
The school seems to have stepped up this year.

dimples surely it’s the teacher’s/TA’s job to remind him?

Harley you are totally not being nasty or over the top. You just want to communicate with the school and make sure your DS's needs are being met: those are perfectly reasonable goals. They are the ones who have rejected all attempts at normal low level communication (communication book, chats, etc.) and always seem to want to escalate.

Similarly I would think weird/repeated bruises would be something they would also be concerned about and want to investigate with you. You are not accusing them of anything: just trying to keep DS safe, and given his communication problems that is going to mean you and school communicating with each other: they seem incredibly defensive?

I agree Danni that is lovely! And DS seems to be responding really well! Do you think it is his new teacher/TA that just "get" it more, or are school giving him some more focus generally now he is full time?

I think I had heard of back-chaining Jeb but I'd forgotten it. It's kind of what I've been doing with DD as she has so much to remember to do in the mornings. We are allowed to go in the classroom with them, so to begin with I was going in and hovering over her while she did her jobs. Then by last week she was doing everything but I was lurking in the corner. This week I've been going in with her but then sticking her lunchbox under the bench and going straight back out again to wait for her outside. Hopefully after Christmas she'll go in and do everything herself most days, like she did in Reception (but in Reception it was literally just lunchbox and book-bag - now she has at least 3 or 4 other little bits to do!)

It's a good concept to remember though ... I think I need to use it a bit more intentionally at home too.