Will he catch up in mainstream?

[Sorcs]

Hi all I’m looking for some advice or if anyone has been in a similar situation I’d love to hear how things turned out.

My DS is in yr 1 (he’ll be 6 in June). He’s recently been diagnosed with ASD & ADHD, he’s also hyper mobile as well as having worrying behavioural issues. Hes currently in a very small independent school with a full time TA. He has an ehcp (only been awarded it in January) but his school have said going forward they can’t meet his needs. His teacher also told me yesterday that he’s at least 2 years behind academically, this was an awful shock! I always thought he was more on the HF end of the spectrum as he’s such a bright clever boy, but I’m guessing there is more going on with help, perhaps slow processing issues maybe or dyslexia.

Anyway my issue now is I have to find him another school. I’m worried that even with a full time ta in mainstream will he ever catch up because I can’t see how the 2 local schools (I’ve visited & said can meet his needs) will do anything differently than his current school (his current TAs have been great, especially with his behaviour).

I’m starting to really consider sending him to the local special school now which I’ve heard nothing but good reviews about. It’s something I’d never thought would be the right place for him as thought he was too high functioning. Has anyone put their child in a special school for a few years then taken them out when they caught & gone into mainstream?

Sorry for the long post and all the questions. I’m sooo worried about him & his future & I also feel this isn’t the end of his issues 🙁

Forgot to add the LA said he could have a place in the special school in September if we choose to send him there.

Hi there, I am afraid I don't know how to advise but I wanted to message you as your son sounds similar to mine. He is the same age and getting full time support in an independent school but while we are thrilled with his progress, the worry about what to do next and what is best for him is constant. I just wanted to say you aren't alone and I hope you find the best solution for your son.

What do you want him to "catch up" to? Do you mean intellectually, developmentally, socially? Does he have a learning disability? In Northern Ireland special schools educate children with learning disabilities only I don't know if this is different where you are. We have Autism units in mainstream schools though.

In my LA, special school places are like hen's teeth, so if the authority were actually offering a place, then it would be likely that it is a suitable place for your ds.

If your ds has autism and ADHD, then he may well not 'catch up'. They mean he learns differently.

Now, Autism covers a massive range of abilities and disabilities - none of us know how 'academically able' your ds is - is there some reason why you think the school's description might not be accurate ?

He might have a brain that is particularly focused on certain subjects and struggles with others. He might not. He might really, really struggle socially. He might not. He might have considerable sensory differences, He might not.
Go and visit the specialist provision. There are a lot of advantages to attending specialist provision.

Thanks for your replies, I’ve only just seen them as I moved my op to sn chat.

@ callingallbunnies - does your son have an ehcp? Can his school meet his needs? If he is doing well & making progress then the school sounds like a good fit, are you happy with how they are helping him?

@ mumunderthrmoon - other then his teacher telling me he’s 2yrs behind in nearly everything academically that’s all I know. Socially he hasn’t got a clue. He’s very intense with his friends, talks constantly & has no idea of personal space. He can be very inappropriate also amongst a lot of other social issues. Think it’s too early to tell if he has a learning disability tbh. I’m guessing if he goes to the ss hopefully they’ll see it.

@ backforgood - I know I feel we would be mad to refuse the place because like you said ss places in our area are very hard to come by, I’m starting to think we are very lucky to get it! My husband is convinced it’s the best place for him, I guess it’ll just take me longer to come to terms with it. Yes I’m starting to think that also, he learns differently & we are really struggling to find out how to help him, especially with homework, he hates it so much that every time I try & sit down to help him with it I think there has to be an easier way for him, he struggles so much!!

We visited the school last week & it looks to have everything he’ll need, and as far as I’m aware they can tailor the work to each child depending on their ability. I can’t shake the fact though that he doesn’t belong there.

We’ve scheduled a call with the deputy head next week to go through all our questions. Hopefully we’ll be able to make a decision then!

We are in a slightly similar position in that our son is also quite behind (at home, he does Y1 work with me, he's in Y2, but he's doing much lower level work in school). Various people were saying he has a learning disability, he needs to be in a school for MLD etc. etc. but I am fairly convinced he's capable of mainstream level if his behaviour can be managed.
We are looking at special schools that "aim for mainstream level" if you see what I mean, so, schools that if they go up to 16 they do offer GCSEs and if they don't, they have a good record of feeding back into mainstream. These for us will mainly be those with a behaviour specialism (he has a diagnosis of ADHD), but for you there are lots of special schools for ASD, and mostly they will offer help to children with a wide range of abilities.