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Original poster

Please help me to help my ds.. I don't know what's wrong!

121 replies

essbee · 28/08/2004 21:18

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MummyToSteven · 01/09/2004 19:05

Hi Essbee glad that you found the visit to the doctors helpful and that you were taken seriously. You are not a failure, you are a fantastic mum, of course we all want to be perfect, breeze through life with no problems but life unfortunately just isn't fair like that. Far far better for you and DS to get help now, than just bury your head in the sand.

Rowlers · 01/09/2004 20:21

Essbee, you clearly are not failing as you are doing all the right things! We all need pointing in the right direction once in a while. It also sounds like your DS is also quite relieved that you are doing something about it. I get the feeling that he is not happy with the way he behaves either. A six year old will have no clue how to alter his / her behaviour without help. I'm sure he will get loads out of this whole process, however difficult the journey may be. By the way, I know nothing about all this but common sense tells me it will all work out!

Original poster
essbee · 01/09/2004 20:25

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Rowlers · 01/09/2004 20:26

Well come on, what more evidence do you need that you are a fab mum? Stop beating yourself up! And have a glass of wine (or two, or three ...)

Original poster
essbee · 01/09/2004 20:27

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essbee · 01/09/2004 20:28

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essbee · 03/09/2004 12:16

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JanH · 03/09/2004 12:21

Anything from 6 weeks? I suppose that's quite quick by NHS standards! Hope it is not much longer - light (or a carrot!) at the end of the tunnel then and you and he can both look forward to making things different

Now go and party on your £2.

roisin · 03/09/2004 18:47

Essbee that sounds great news: Well done for taking him and chatting to the GP. It does take courage to do that. I hope you get some help and advice as a result. Please keep us posted.

Rowlers · 03/09/2004 19:01

That's great essbee - you've got the ball rolling. Hope it has given you a boost knowing that help is coming. And another thing - it's Friday! Yippee!! Have a glass of wine (again) to celebrate. If you relax and are happier, maybe this will rub off on DS? Hope so.

Chocol8 · 04/09/2004 00:04

I was wondering how you got on this morning Essbee - it's great news that you will be getting the help you and your ds need.

I hated asking for help too - I felt just like you described, but a few months down the line and I feel that I did the right thing for him - and me. There comes a point when you know it just cannot continue as it has been any longer.

Well done, and what your ds did was fantastic! Ahhhh, that is so lovely. Let us know how it all goes. xx

tigermoth · 04/09/2004 08:23

I loved your story about your ds - handwritten notes of apology never happen in our house - he sounds so sweet and very sensitive too.

I am really glad things are moving for you and that the GP takes your problem seriously. Hope your pc is fixed soon. I know you are a bit of a techno whizz at fixing it so good luck!

jampot · 04/09/2004 09:35

Good news essbee - glad things are going right for you (and ds)

bambi06 · 04/09/2004 10:11

ive just read all the threads and feel so much for you essbee,and am going through similar except my son has been diagnosed as AS , but he wears me down so much most weeks i cry through desperation as i feel i cant cope( im a trained nursery nurse with 20 yrs exp as well as nannying) and have never had it so bloody hard..i know because hes my child its harder because of the bond (both sides because he plays me up more too)ive thankfully god a wonderful woman from my local autistic society who i can call up and talk too in desperate times..shes part of the parent support group and is a bloody lifeline, shes coming round to give me advise on specific strategies to put in place and when i asked her about my sons way of talking. ie like talking to a stroppy adolescent and trying to control everything ,she said its unfortunately typical of autistic children in the way they speak..very mature and also the old fashioned way of relating to people..every adult always remarks how wonderful my son is as they chat to him but with me i get the hellish behaviour , i feel it s acombination of his age ..nearly 5 and his AS. hes constantly winding all his family up and thrives on the negative attention but then he apologises and is very sweet but will do it all over again as though he s forgotten what has just happened and why he gor reprimanded.. i feel that its two steps forward and one back constantly, but im praying the exra help will have a effect and at school he will have extra help if and when he needs it, im very pleased with the school hell be going to as they are very proactive and reassuring about it all. i know im ranting here but i just you to know how it fels and i fully sypathise with you and send lots of love to support you in this difficult time. anytime you want to talk let me know.love

Original poster
essbee · 04/09/2004 19:54

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essbee · 20/09/2004 20:54

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LIZS · 21/09/2004 08:13

essbee, it sounds like a positive step on behalf of the school. ds has OT for an hour a week in school time and doesn't feel the least bit stigmatised. He really looks forward to his sessions, not least because he gets undivided attention and is allowed to lead what they do. Hope it works out for your ds.

Shame about the referral though,, hope it comes through quicker than that. Good luck in the meantime and hope it relieves some of the pressure on you.

Original poster
essbee · 12/10/2004 01:33

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marthamoo · 12/10/2004 07:05

Does it not say "continue on another sheet if necessary"? Silly *rses. Instead of writing it in coherent sentences you could just summarise aspects of his behaviour - eg., short attention span, tantrums, aggression, inability to foollow instructions (this is from me re-reading your thread quickly - I'm making him sound like a demon and he isn't )

It's just to give them an ide - it's not cast in stone and you get to speak properly when you get there (are you going to write down everything you want to say before you go - I think that's always a good idea?)

HTH. How are you doing, btw?

Original poster
essbee · 02/11/2004 17:04

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Rowlers · 02/11/2004 17:13

Hope it goes well tomorrow.
Personally, I hate appointments of any kind because I always come away thinking "I didn't say that very well" or "I should have said XXX" or "I didn' understand that".
It may seem a little like overpreparation, but jotting down things you want to say / want help with / want explanations for is a good idea.
Also, if I am ill and have a doctor's appointment, I always tend to end up backtracking and saying it's not that bad really when it is bad / has been bad / can be bad.
God knows why I do this!
What you want is help when things are bad, try to focus on this perhaps?
I'm sure others with far greaterexperience will be along soon to advise!
Let us know how it went!

Rowlers · 02/11/2004 17:14

sorry - overdid the exclamation marks a bit didn't I?

Original poster
essbee · 02/11/2004 20:20

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LIZS · 02/11/2004 20:26

good luck for tomorrow, Essbee. Hope you get some support and reassurance.

blossomhill · 02/11/2004 23:17

Essbee - try not toe worried
Just remember you will be seeing people that want to help your ds and help you!
Please let us know how it goes tomorrow and good luck. BHxxx