How can I help DD?

[spidereye]

I feel so sorry for her. She has autistic traits, but I'm not sure enough for a diagnosis. She has been on the Camhs waiting list for two years. She has struggled for years with friendships - never had a best friend, rarely invited anywhere. In primary school she excitedly stood for school council and received one vote. This year she has received one Christmas card. I hate to see her struggling so much socially.

DS has quite severe autism, ADHD and mild learning difficulties, but has a great life in his special school with a group of quirky friends. DD is sitting in her room all of the time, being excluded from friendship groups and having no social life whatsoever. It's so fucking unfair I could weep. She's almost 13. She's in several clubs, but doesn't appear to make friends there either.

This site has wonderful videos for teaching social skills, and there are books too.

www2.semel.ucla.edu/peers/resources/role-play-videos

Is she sad about the lack of friends or just you?

If the former then I would ask school for ideas as I am sure they have encountered this problem before. In our experience they will be able to provide more support than CAMHS.

If the latter then try not to worry, not everybody likes lots of friends and she may need quiet time at home to recharge. I think its great she is accessing clubs - even if it is "playing alongside" rather than "playing with" it will be giving her some social contact and interest.

Thanks for the suggestions.Starlight I will check out the link. We have discussed it with the school and they are putting her forward for a social skills group, whether she will go remains to be seen (she is desperate not to be seen as different from her peers) We have also chased up Camhs and they expect to offer her an appointment for an ASD assessment in March