Summer Holidays - Invites

[JoeSamJack]

Hi All,

My DS is 10 and has Aspergers, he is a lovely polite boy and a little quirky! I often invite children from school for tea but this is rarely reciprocated. He has had one invite from another child this holiday, and another couple which don't get followed up despite me trying to confirm. I must have had one school friend over 10 times without a return invite. I don't want to sound negative as we have had a lovely holiday and he has had fun with cousins and kids he has met in the park. Have you any ideas how I can keep him socialised as he grows up? He is in cubs which he enjoys.

I'm a bit short on answers about this myself! DS is interested in friends but doesn't necessarily have the skills to keep them. However that motivation means that he is sometimes able to learn friendship skills.

He has a couple of friends in his class and I have befriended their parents. Having a good relationship between parents helps to smooth (or sniff out) out problems. I've told them about DS' diagnosis but their kids don't know yet. So they are able to help a little to smooth over any "rude" behaviour.

Otherwise the best thing we have found are groups or clubs based on "special interest". Minecraft is fortunately a fairly popular topic, which is working as a good social opener. I plan to use clubs to help our DS more in the future.

Depending on how things go I may see if I can re-start a weekly group for Aspies which used to run at a children's centre. Older kids who used to go are still in touch with friends they made there. I always think along the lines "birds of a feather..."

Personally I disproportionately have kids over if they are happy, fairly open door. To be fair some just don't do play dates due to shift patterns/ cramped housing/ mess etc. Only obviously if they are all happy. I used to wait more for returns, then stopped caring a bit, play is play. We haven't yet found a group that works though.

Sometimes we get invites more from sibling groups where siblings are also the same age more

Thanks for your positive response ladies. He has a friend coming over today who is lovely and will stay until the evening, his mum will then return the favour next week. There is a large age difference between my kids so sometimes it is hard to find natural playmates for them both. I now work from home and do remember how difficult it is to entertain visitors after coming home from work. I should stop being so sensitive!

I don't think you can stop being sensitive, it's quite healthy to have an online rant or with a trusted confidante to let it out and stop it getting to you.

Thank you and feeling fine today. They had a lovely time yesterday and I'll arrange another friend to pop down next week. My DS is at the age where classmates are starting to text and meet without parents etc. I don't think we are quite there yet.