Can a mobile phone actually help?

[nellythegoat]

DD is diagnosed, doctor has referred her (she is 10) so we are waiting and coping. Most of my coping tips have come from reading about PDA and using those strategies. She is quite often violent and very very set when she doesn't want to to do something.

Obviously it's half term, she is the oldest child and some of the more affordable activities I have organised are 'boring' or 'shit' .

I did wonder if a phone would actually help? It would give her something to do while we were out and about doing boring stuff and would mean that she does leave the house. I was going to make using something like Headspace meditation a condition for having the phone which she is desperate for.

Sometimes I have noticed that putting on headphones and retreating into her own little world can calm her down.

There may even be other apps that would help.

The difficulty is that she can become rather obsessed with things and if we ever needed to say no to time on it, or take it away for any reason then she may not cope well at all.

Any advice would be helpful. It has been a very tough week and I am battered both physically and emotionally so if you think that my idea is dreadful, then please be kind about it...I am at the point were you look to try anything that would help!!

...to add, this is not the only thing that we would be doing, we have made quite a few positive changes to try and help things.

Could you download the app you want her to try on to your phone and let her use it when out and about? See how it goes and then if she uses it appropriately and shows she can give it back without a tantrum, maybe you can let her have her own... with the same rules.
I'd probably go for a small tablet (fire's are cheap) that isn't necessarily just hers. With a phone there's an assumption it must be taken everywhere and be on at all times whereas a shared tablet could be taken away or negotiated for like TV time.

I think it's a fab idea, and ideal to get one before she starts secondary school. I wish my ds had been more amenable to having a phone as there's so many ways you can use them to make life easier. I really do believe that tech has the ability to vastly improve lives and we should embrace it. However, if you're using it as a disability support then you need to tread carefully if you want to use it as a bargaining chip. Maybe an idea would be at the start to agree to a one week/month trial and if she's responsible (ageee a set of guidelines together!) she gets to keep the phone, if not you keep it (and then try a trial again a week or so later).