Have we got it wrong? So very confused !

[DoubtingDeirdre]

DS is 7 and has a diagnosis of SPD & ASD (Aspergers/HFA)

He is definitely "different" in comparison to his older brother - highly strung , anxious , has issues with sensory regulation , anger issues , attachment to strange things such as rocks etc .

BUT the confusing part is - we only started to notice things weren't quite "right" around age 5 - his sensory issues and anxiety seemed to escalate.

Before that , we just thought he was a bit highly strung and hard work because of his personality - we weren't concerned as such .

He has lots of friends and is sociable etc.

Surely if he has ASD / SPD then this would have been obvious from birth?

I feel like I'm going mad second guessing myself and trying to remember "something" to fit it all together !

Opinions please ?

This is what the DSM5 says.

It's very common for there to be no obviously glaring signs a person is autistic for years, but there most have been something for you to get him assessed.

Thank you that one snippet is actually very comforting .

Yes, his sensory behaviours have a major impact on family life , it's very stressful and after one very awful morning , I marched him to the GP and broke down

We didn't really notice DS was that different until he was about 4 and a half. He definitely was a more difficult to a mange child than the average but I just thought that was his personality. And when other young children are still having tantrums etc his behaviour blended in to a large exent. If I could go back in time to see him as a small child I'd probably spot a lot of subtle things indicating ASD that I never really paid attention to.
As he went to school the differences between him and the other children started to become more obvious. It's becoming more obvious that his social skills are developing at a slower pace than the other children in his class.

My DS 11 has just been diagnosed ASD. He is very sociable and has lots of friends.

When he was younger I'd best describe him as quirky and a bit highly strung. He wasn't an easy baby or toddler and he found transitions more difficult than most. I thought he'd grow out of it but he hasn't.

It is extreme anxiety and rigid thinking which has led to a later diagnosis. I would not therefore assume you have got it wrong because it did not obviously display in the early years.

My DS (8) came to the attention of the paediatrician/SALT because of his terribly restricted eating. If it had not been for that, he sounds very like your son and probably would not have had a diagnosis for many years. Our school didn't notice! It was only during the diagnosis process that I came to realise that there had been quite a few early signs but that I hadn't understood their significance. He didn't point to share attention, but would point at things he wanted - for any normal parent it's not easy to see the difference. I always thought that he had crawled - but an OT recently pointed out to me that his crawling isn't completely standard! Again with limited experience, how would a normal parent spot that or understand that it implied neurological differences? If your DS' sensory problems aren't so easily identified I don't think it is surprising that you didn't think of ASD.

My asd dc took 2 yrs to diagnose as he presents a typical BUT he's tuning 6 and it's becoming more apparent. At school he's a disaster at home he's pretty ok bar the huge emotional meltdowns at times