Dealing with physical aggression - what do u do?

[Blossom4538]

Our DD (almost 6) has just hurt both her Dad and I before bed, all because we said it was end of bedtime stories. She has been aggressive for 4 and a half years. Nothing seems to help and it's really upsetting. It does peak and trough but is always there. Any tips please? May be ASD related as she struggles with emotions.

Also, it doesn't bother her, she doesn't seem to care. Perhaps she does a little, although I see her smirking.

Anxiety yes, definitely. But usually if she can't have her own way. She was relaxed and happy in bed this eve when it happened, and we've had a happy, relaxed afternoon, after school.

I'm interested too as my ds is like this. This am he full on hit the tv and then me. I though he had broken out tv was that hard!

The only thing I will say thouhh is that
My Dd was the same however now at nearly 9 she doesn't hit anymore- still screams and shouts though.
With her it is anxiety and potential asd but unsure. We had to remain calm at keep repeating how it's not the right thing and we understand she is angry. Not sure what worked to be honest other than her getting older maybe

Would a clock with a time help...and talk through in advance so she knows which story is the last one, and at what time you stop reading. Or gradually reduce the stories so there is just one, and the anticipation of ending stories is not so great.

Or...read story in the afternoon and not at bedtime, and make bedtime routine more matter of fact less interesting..not as a punishment you understand, just to stop her feeling sad that it is over and you are leaving.

I suspect it is a separation thing, coming out as a fit of aggression, she is angry at you for leaving her at bedtime. Transition object? blankie, soft toy? Stay in her room for a bit after story so it is not the "end", further cuddles at bedtime until she is nearly asleep, lying down with her..{i've done all these things!)

Don't feel upset, she is just a little girl with big emotions and she doesn't want to go to bed, which is quite a normal thing at that age, even if aggression isn't so "normal".

I think you also have to be quite firm at what the routine is, but that doesn't mean routine cannot be very "tailored" to her anxieties, of course you shouldn't keep doing whatever she wants when she demands it, it is more not letting the situation get to that stage where she is having to make angry reactions or demands.