Does anyone have any poo advice ?

[imjessie]

My son is 5 with gdd ( genetic of unknown cause ) . We have managed to toilet train him with wee but not poo . He holds it and either poos in his nighttime nappy or asks for a nappy to poo in . I spent all of the last summer hols ( 8 weeks ) toilet training him and could not crack the po0 .. it's not getting any better and he is afraid of it .. any advice ?

I would say he isnt ready. How delayed is his development generally?

He has control And understands what I want him to do . He is 5 but around 3 developmentally . The thing is he has been out of nappies for months and no wee accidents so I don't want to put him back in nappies . He understands everything but doesn't have many words . He knows what I want him to do but is afraid of it .

A friend had a similar issue with her ds. She made a book for him with very simple visuals - to take him through the process of pooing, including a reassurance that someone would stay with him (which seemed to be his big fear) - it was used at home, school and when he came to ours. Have school talked about ways to support him? Fo you have any input from continence team? School nurse?

(by the way I tried visuals with ds - with o success! However because they have worked so well for friend, thought it was worth mentioning!)

Thank you .. is your dc toilet trained hazey ? I think they are the same age . I have literally tried everything .. I do think he needs time but it's become a bit of an issue over xmas .

He is 6 and a half, and not toilet trained. He has severe expressive speech problems, but good understanding. The difficulty with ds seems to be a mixture of physical problems (low tone, constipation), sensory issues and a very rigid refusal to have anything to do with toilets!

I feel your pain.. it was one of the things I wanted to crack last summer and it nearly sent me crackers .. ☹️️

can you unpick what the fear is about? Does he use a toilet or a potty? If it's a toilet, does he have a little stool to put his feet on while he is sat there?

My daughter does not have learning difficulties. She was in the paddling pool aged 2 said she needed a wee. got out used potty and that was that. No wet pants no accidents no training. She would only pooh in a nappy. No amount of incentives, praise, books, explaining etc made the slightest bit of difference. She told me she would poo on the loo when she was 4. Which is what she did. on her birthday! It is very normal for a child to be dry months before they are confident enough to use the loo. I would advise to forget about it for the moment. take the pressure off completely. I would give my daughter a nappy to pooh in. We would stay in the bathroom while she did then take it straight off. He obviously knows physically and has the control. so just needs time to come round to the idea of doing it on the toilet. Maybe he could sit on the loo with his nappy on in a few weeks. and do that for a while?

^^ that's what we do . I'm no pressuring him but it does need to be sorted at some point so it doesn't become a problem at school hence my hope someone would have some insight . I'm not sure what he is afraid of but I have read children with sn can be afraid of the feeling of the poo leaving their body on the loo. He has every variant of toilets and seats and steps available for sale .. I have a continence nurse but she says just keep trying .

does he have sensory issues ? sometimes children are afraid of / freaked out by either the sound of a pooh splashing into a toilet, or the feel/fear of water splashing up and hitting them in the bottom. would he do a pooh on a potty with a nappy in it to line it / toilet with a load of toilet paper put in first to sort of absorb the shock - a sort of halfway step?

He doesn't really have sensory issues . Apart from the developmental delay he is quite a normal boy . I've tried the toilet roll thing but thank you .

You know the bed sheets you can use for night time accidents? Pampers do them.

Sounds strange (!) but I know someone that had success using in of those under the toilet seat so it felt like a nappy!
They also used bubbles to relax the Sphincter muscle (because that's what I was recommended for Ds) and say in toilet with child and had 'fun'.

Worth a try?!

I was just about to suggest a party blower or recorder for the same reason. It didn't help us. But works for some.

This isn't anything that will help you unfortunately but dd wouldn't poo on the loo without a nappy until age 6.5 years even though she was dry by 2 years. At school she'd just hold onto it until she got home and we'd put a nappy on her

We never did work out exactly why although she has CP and some mild sensory issues. We did everything that was suggested by our continence nurse and all those things posters suggested above but she just decided when she was ready in the end!

Thank you .. I will try those suggestions and yes I think we just have to wait . The school is making noises about it being a pain ( well yes I know it is ) but I will speak to the SENco and make sure the ta's knownts in his ehcp etc .

Lots of different things had small improvements for ds. Poo game although it was too difficult for him to play he thought it was very funny and helped to talk about the situation. Books like Liam goes for a Poo on the Toilet and a lift the flap type body book. There is also another one about a boy who doesn't poo and ends up getting a sore tummy as his 'bag of food' gets fuller and fuller.

With ds he just won't go full stop, doesn't want to do it in a nappy or pants or anything. What he wants is someone to go with him and read to him. That was the biggest thing that helped/helps, is going with what he asks for. His dad won't go with him as "he's a big boy" so he doesn't poo at his house

So I would give him a nappy if that is what he wants. Can you go along the lines of slowly introducing the toilet so poo in nappy yes but on the toilet seat. I have read some enterprising people then cut a hole in the nappies as the next stage...

And the school can do one. I doubt anyone ever wants their school age child in nappies so they should recognise you are doing your best to get him there. Poo has certainly been our most harrowing bit of SN, I have spent whole days trying to get him out of major screaming discomfort.

That's actually a brilliant idea about letting him poo in a nappy but sitting on the loo . It's the one thing I haven't tried ... thank you ! 😘

You could also try a book called liam goes poo poo. It is on amazon. Found it helpful with my youngest.