ASD deliberate violence

[Areyoufree]

I suspect my DD(5) has ASD, although we haven't got a diagnosis yet. Anyhow, she doesn't have meltdowns, but she gets in these manic moods, where she becomes incredibly clingy and attention seeking. She reverts to baby talk, sings to herself, makes odd faces, and can be very aggressive. She will deliberately hurt her younger brother (pinching, scratching, hitting, biting), and can also do the same to us. Or, she can lash out out of absolutely nowhere - when we are not even taking to her, she can just hit us. Sometimes it is obviously to get attention - she bit my husband when he was on the phone, for example. It wasn't hard, not to hurt, just to get a reaction.

The thing is, she is not out of control when she is doing this. So my husband feels we should treat it as normal naughtiness, and that she should be punished for it. I am a little more hesitant, because it only happens when she is in one of these agitated moods, which definitely intensify in times of change. Punishing her just makes her more agitated (plus he has a tendency to over explain things - I keep telling him to use few words!).

Anyhow, I was just wondering if this sounds like typical 5 year old stuff, or something more related to the ASD, and if anyone has any tips for how to deal with it.

I would say there's a trigger - whether obvious or not. All behaviour is a form of communication. I believe in natural consequences for behaviour but punishment isn't always of value.

Sounds like sensory overload from your description. Have you seen an OT? (Lots of areas accept self referrals). The out of synch child is also a good book.

Have you an area you could make into a retreat for her? So when she begins the behaviour she is taught to go there and calm down.

Different things work for different sensory processing difficulties but beanbag, punch bag, gym ball to lay over or bounce on, trampette, heavy blanket, music, lights, chewy toys and fiddle toys etc all have different effects.

Thank you so much - there's some really useful advice there. I shall definitely look up the book, and look into whether there is a local OT. I shall also dig out my old gym ball - she loves playing with it! I did build her a den, but she hates being on her own. It's can be a bit of a vicious cycle, because I think human interaction stresses her out, but she is constantly seeking attention and human contact!