High functioning ASD/aspergers and interaction

[Blossom4538]

Okay, our dd is apparently making great
Progress at school with speech and interaction.

Outside of school, selectively mute and awkward/lack of interaction. I broke my heart again today at a party. Friends want her to play but she sticks with us. No interaction playing or at party food table. I know it could be worse but :-(

Is this common with ASD/aspergers or something we're doing? We work hard at it but she seems to be improving within school? Helps that she's there 5 days in row each week as feels that things have to be really constant with her to help.

Do you think she's really making great progress at school with social interaction? Is there any chance that the teacher is fobbing you off in this regard, possibly because your DD is otherwise doing well, so he / she doesn't want to dwell on this aspect?

We found that most teachers didnt really notice when our Dd was struggling! So long as a child isnt kicking off they usually say they are "fine"!

DS never participates in group discussion and never puts his hand up but does fine academically and doesn't make a fuss. School loves him.

He has never, ever made friends on holiday/at the playground or spoken to anyone he doesn't know really, really well.

They see what they want to see

How do you prepare her for parties? We find social stories work really well.

It depends...

Our DS is socially active and has friends, but makes subtle mistakes which might cost him more as they get older. But he has made a lot of progress. Other children don't want to interact and while their parents are upset, they are quite happy!. The difficult cases are the kids who want friends but can't make/keep them. Where does your DD sit? How old is she?

As people have said above I wouldn't pay too much attention to school's view unless they are exceptionally knowledgeable. Our school did play observations and DS was fine. When a SALT repeated the obs, her notes supported his ASD assessment..... not so fine then!

Parties are tricky because of the randomness. School is easier as it has a more predictable routine - how does she get on in the unstructured periods at play/lunch? That would be a better comparison.

Could you join the woodcraft folk so that you can all go to a regular group as a family and support her in group activities? Better than scouts/brownies as you can be there to (gently) mediate

I agree about the possibility of reports from school not reflecting the truth.
How is she interacting? Is it 2 way etc. It's common they see a child talking and think 'social interaction'

My ds can sit and monologue about computers and games and looks socially interactive. He can't have any type of conversation on something simple like the weather or on a given topic!