HFA "no issues" at school

[mrsbaffled]

Hello I used to be a regular but haven't been around for a while.

I have 2 DSs. DS1 is borderline HFA and we are awaiting a follow up paed appt for DS2 next week. Both are dx with Tourettes and OCD traits. There ate people woth diagnosed and undiagnosed ASD on both sides of the family.

To give some background DS2 has anger issues and the last straw came about 18 months ago when he really lashed out an left me bruised. I spoke to his teacher (deputy head and then acting Senco) who said she had noticed a few ASD traits and that perhaps I should persue a paed referral. I did that, and 11 months later the referral finally came through. As a result school and I had to fill out Connors questionnaire and I had to keep a diary of difficult behaviour.

We have just spoken to his new teacher and she seemed genuinely surprised by all of this. She is aware of his TS, but hasn't noticed anything out of the ordinary, either ASD or ADHD (other than being sensitive, calls out - "but who doesn't?!" - and a few times when he's found it hard to negotiate)....

Is it that she just doesn't recognise it? Is it possible for him not to have noticeably different behaviour at school and then fall apart at home....? It must be there to an extent for the old teacher to encourage us to see pead....?

Do these extremely high functioning children ever get diagnosed?

Our school muttered about our DS and said they didn't think he had social/spectrum issues. Local SALT encouraged us to accept a referral and he was diagnosed within a couple of months. I imagine it would have been longer via CAMHS but they do seem to get there eventually if you push

Now we have the diagnosis the school don't know what to do. The SALT told me on the phone that his difficulties are masked by high IQ but that he has subtle and complex issues. Not sure what to do now - will try for an EHC assessment but the odds are stacked against us. Meanwhile the school do nothing while they don't understand.

Press for diagnosis as you have nothing to lose. Many teachers are blind to the "symptoms"