Emotional regulation

[Sobloomintired]

Looking for some advice from wise people of SN children board. My daughter is 9 and has various health issues as well as sensory processing problems, issues with processing speed, writing etc at school and motor skills delays. This all adds up to a lot of frustration for her which often spills over into tantrums/anxiety attacks. There is a query about her social communication and it's becoming more and more apparent that she really struggles socially with her peers, although she loves talking to adults. My main question (today!) is how can we help her to manage her emotions? She will get so upset about the slightest things, often it's a build up of 'small' issues that erupts over a seemingly trivial matter. She really does get so so upset and will rant and shout and kick. We try to keep things simple and predictable but sometimes things are just not in out control... I really want to teach her how to deal with all the anger and frustration but I don't know where to start. Any tips/ideas/books?

Have you looked at the Sensory Direct website? This may be too 'young' for your DD, but they have learning aids and games for social communication. I can't link as on phone.

I don't have answers - DS is younger, and also struggles. His therapist is going to work on social stories. I will be interested in any suggestions on here too.

Thanks both, I've looked at Sensory Direct before but not specifically for 'emotions' products, so I'll look into that. I actually have The Explosive Child but have not looked at it for a while so will go back to that. Thanks again.

Also, I've been thinking about social stories, does anyone use an iPad app to create social stories?

Hi, no, I don't have an iPad.

With DD, I used to tell stories verbally and draw them out - she is much less literal than DS and has a complete fantasy world - it used to be imaginary friends and now it is a whole land. DS is completely literal and his games are based on real life (think train tracks, car mats etc). Plus I am only beginning to work on social stories with DS.

It is funny, I had forgotten that - I created a whole parallel story world for DD with children doing stuff. I need to dredge back into that part of my brain and think of a way it will work for DS.

The other thing I wanted to say is that age nine, you have got physical development beginning maybe. Hormones add to emotional see-sawing.

With DS, the hitting and kicking is an anxiety response. He is still small enough for me to be able to hold him till he calms down (just). I got him a weighted blanket and we do massage as well (on the soles of his feet) as well as a range of meditation games (there is a book called Sitting Like a Frog with things in it).

For social stories we use book creator

Thank you for all your helpful suggestions everyone xx

Ds and infuse the big book of feelings. It looks at small medium and large feelings and reactions.

So you can talk about when a friend doesn't want to play your game that it's annoyance but a small feeling and how you can respond.
It covers all sorts of emotions in the same way- happy,sad annoyed etc