second baby first one with SN

[zoeando]

hi, i have just joined and would welcome any practical advice. My little girl is 18mnths with severe physical and mental delay, she cant yet sit up and will probably never walk. i am pregant, due end April and dont know how I will cope. I admire those of you who have managed three children, how do you do it. To add to it all my husband and I are in the throes of separating. doesn anyone know if i will be entitled to more respite care as a single parent

Hello zoeando. Welcome to the SN board. I've just one DD .......but didn't want this to go unanswered. I'm sure someone else will have some advice for you. Sounds as if you have your hands full. Take care.

with respite I would say yes. but it depends on where you live.

You won't be able to imagine coping, but you will. Do contact social services about respite though (or an extra pair of hands). When pregnant with ds3 I realised I would really need extra help. I contacted SS managed to arrange direct payments and now have a whole bunch of people who come and help out with ds1 or just act as an extra person to help out with all 3.

Do you have much family/friend support- it must be hard if you are separating.

Hi zoeando. Sorry to hear that you're seperating from your H. I'm also seperating from my DS's dad (DS is 5 and autistic) and although I'm glad to be moving on I'm also afraid of how I'll cope practically and without the emotional support I have now from P.

I don't know about increased respite care as a single mother of 2, but I hope you have some luck with Social Services.

Good luck and welcome to Mumsnet

Do you live anywhere near a college that offers childcare courses? They always need to place students for the practical element of the course. I got a nice girl to come to my house for five hours a day two days a week for three months - FREE! It was very good. I wasn't supposed to leave her with the baby unsupervised, but she was just another pair of hands to hold the baby while I made a cup of tea etc. I had an older child of three at the time and sometimes she'd entertain him while I was feeding or the baby was sleeping so I could have a bath or rest. It also made it possible to go out more on trips in the early days.

Oh, and I'm sorry about your separation and wish you lots of luck with the new baby.

Welcome to the SN board.

Sorry to hear about the separation. I don't have any experience of respite care but just wanted to say hello.

thanks for the messages, its given me some food for thought and ideas i can look into. To be honest hubby was pretty useless anyway!