Paediatrician Referral

[Boodles84]

Hello.
My DS 7 has been referred to a paediatrician after I approached the GP with my concerns. I went armed with my list of concerns, My question is my son masks extremely well. It is only at home that his behaviour changes although we have spilled over to public meltdowns recently. I have spoken to the school and they have said they will do observations etc. I'm not convinced that they will find anything in school as he is the model student, scared to break the rules. He even said in a meltdown the teacher would 'have him killed' now I've only met the woman a few times but I don't think she is in the habit of making kids disappear for uncompleted homework.
How likely is it that they will "see" anything if he is masking? Will we just be told to go away as it isn't affecting school? (yet)!

Hi. I had the same worries as you. My DS also masks at school. He is very compliant, never breaks rules etc. There was still plenty of evidence from school - anxiety, difficulties with noise, one sided conversations, talking to other children like they are adults etc etc. Is it ASD that you suspect? If your son goes through the assessment process for ASD then he will be assessed by other professionals and they will all be looking for evidence.

My Ds masks in school, to the point where no-one was able to spot it.
It's only now he has a teacher who has a Ds with ASD that someone can see the very subtle signs!
There will be signs, but if you think it's going to be difficult, you could always give school a list of the things you've spotted. Eg. For my Ds, they were things like going very still, no facial expressions, going pale, getting giddy and silly.

There's a blog here about masking, with some useful links that might help.

Thanks for your replies, it is so hard! Some days I am absolutely convinced he has ASD and other days like today i think I must have imagined it all!
My biggest concerns really are the anxiety and the increasingly violent meltdowns. We have toilet issues and other sensory issues but socially he doesn't have too much of a problem although I Can tell it causes him stress and is much more comfortable around children who are on the spectrum in some way or another. He also goes super hyper and silly when amongst people he knows but still in a social setting. Thanks phil for the blog links, I'll take a look!

Had such a bad day today with DS. Feel totally done in. Major meltdown, covered in bites and bruises and have no one to turn to to talk about all this to. I've started keeping a diary with it all in, to take to the paeds appt whenever that may be!

That's hard. Hope you have a better day today. Definitely a good idea to keep a record. Do you have a support group locally? You can often attend before diagnosis. It would give you people to talk things through with and get some advice.