Hyperventilating ASD DD(10)

[Cookingwine]

now DD has started hyperventilating and it is worrying/annoying. One of her baby molar has cracked and split, there is still one half of it in place and we can clearly see the big tooth pushing behind. This was accompanied with a bit of blood and she started panicking and hyperventilating. She realised she has lots of homework to do: hyperventilation. Her desk is messy: hyperventilation. I ask her to move on one side of the sofa: hyperventilation. Let's say she can't help it, now what? I fear we are slipping dangerously towards the need for medication and frankly I feel I would fail have failed her if we end up taking some. There must be some meditation techniques to help? Somewhere/somehow I so would like her to feel better, not worse :(

You won't be failing your DD if she takes medication, if they get the type and dose right it may well be a very helpful step along the way to making her feel better.

Yes there are techniques that may help (mindfulness and CBT are often recommended) but it can be an uphill struggle and medication - in conjunction with therapy - can tip the balance towards real progress. Good luck

Thanks. This medication thing is pretty irrational. I have a good friend who just started some ADs and I was happy and pleased for her as I thought it was a bit unfair that she had to struggle so much in her day to day life, but she feels it is something to be ashamed of, and I don't see it at all like that-for her. But for DD? She is so young! However, I remember Temple Grandin saying that she couldn't function at all without them, so maybe it is indeed something positive. Sigh. This ASD diagnosis is taking its time to sink in...

DS, also 10 and recently diagnosed, is doing this too at the moment over the slightest thing and it's really worrying. Have you looked at the workbook Starving the Anxiety Gremlin? It was helpful to go through with DS and he really engaged with it. Unfortunately he made his gremlin very cute and friendly so he wanted to keep it fed but otherwise it was helpful to identify anxiety triggers and to understand the physical effects.

DS also did the headspace app with me for a while and when DD1 and DD2 were in a similar distressed state a year ago massage helped.

I'll have a look at that thanks

I have ordered it

Hope it helps! I do think naming things helps demystify the anxiety.

Do you have pets? Ours help calm DS and DD1 but DD2 hates them...

I can't help beating myself up about DD's ASD and anxiety at the moment. She is my middle child and it has ALWAYS been difficult and different with her. What I would like to find out now is this: As it been difficult and different because of me failing to understand her and bond with her, or wasn't I able to bond and understand her because of the bloody ASD? This was there from the moment she was born if you ask me and this is hunting me. Bonding was instant and lovely with the other 2, but it didn't happen with her. She was bloody obnoxious as a toddler and a preschooler, and was told off a lot, didn't make any difference, it was maddening. Now I feel terrible as we completely missed this ASD thing until she was 8, although we stopped having a go at her when she started school, and decided that she wasn't naughty. We didn't have a clue but we realised she couldn't help it and just wasn't tuned towards other people's feelings, no matter what. Writing this down helps me realise that I certainly didn't cause it, but we missed the boat for so long...I am glad we finally know though, but it is complex and affecting her more than I thought.