SN or not SN

[Publicenema]

Hi
My DS is 4 and just started in reception. His school have handed me a form requesting a SN assessment but I'm torn. There is no doubt he is immature and has certain 'quirks' but he is also highly intelligent aware and sensitive. His difficulties centre around rules which are absolutely black and white. He will follow rules once they have been explained but in a very literal sense eg if he is told not to throw paper towels around the toilets then as far as he is concerned, coats weren't mentioned so it's ok to throw coats around instead. Does this make sense? Another example- today he was told not to go into the kitchen in the pub we were in because its a dangerous place. He then saw a baby being carried in there by its dad (who works there) and was beside himself with anger because they 'we're breaking the rules'. The school say this needs a SN assessment. What is the downside of agreeing to this or isn't there one?

Sorry 'were' not 'we're'

It does sound as if an assessment might be worthwhile. How is he in a social group, with noise and bustle. You may not see all the observations which the school may , as you will have adapted to his quirks and may not have the comparison with a breadth of children that age. If you are uncertain soeak to his teacher and/or senco. There isn't really a downside as the earlier intervention is made the better chance he has of achieving his potential.

Thanks that's reassuring. He is really not good in a social situation and hates noise and bustle. He makes friends easily and on the surface appears to play happily but can also lose those friends just as easily by hitting too readily or getting into fights when he is trying to enforce the rules. He is charming and engaging with adults and quite capable of playing really well with one or two peers at a time. I'm desperately worried about him becoming isolated and wasn't sure whether the process would instantly label him in the school. However it sounds like if it gets him more support and understanding it will be a good thing?

Good point Poltergoose. I am haunted by memories of a 'weird' boy in my own primary years who was most definitely isolated and sad. Looking back he almost certainly had Aspergers and I often wonder how things would have been different if it was discussed with his peers

Thanks all...filling the forms out now

Did the school not talk to you first? If not I would make a meeting with them so you can all discuss your concerns.

But yes I agree with the others that it is good they are being proactive now and it's better to get the ball rolling young if their is any special needs.

Sirzy I suspect they finally got round to reading his nursery transition notes after noticing some behaviours and concluded it was worth investigating further. I have spoken to his teacher many times in the last month about various behavioural issues but she hadn't mentioned getting him assessed. That's why I was unsure what to do but deep down I was hoping you'd all say it was a good step to take

Yes it's a good step to take. If he receives a diagnosis, that leads to better understanding and the right help at school, including with things like social situations and how and when the rules apply or not, as needed. It also gives his new teacher each year the chance to hit the ground running with the right support and so makes transitions easier.