Fly phobia ruining summer

[NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown]

I have posted on the behaviour board as well but thought I might have more luck here.

DS has a phobia of flies - he has other phobias - dogs, hand dryers and more recently public toilets (because of the possibility of hand dryers) but the fly one is getting really out of hand and I have no idea how to help him

things we've tried with no success include reassurance, a huge toy fly, holding/inspecting a dead fly, a swatter, spray, books on flies, a fly proof curtain (got pulled down and besides they still find a way in)

I know it sounds dramatic but it really is ruining summer; he's absolutely terrified - screams his head off, shakes, sweats, totally freaks out, heart races etc etc. DD has picked up on it (I mean emotionally, everyone in the street has probably noticed it) and is now reacting in the same way sad

I'm pretty sure it's a sensory thing (buzzing noise/light touch) and the unpredictability of their movement rather than fear it will actually hurt him

has anyone any suggestions please of how to help?

Oh I wish I knew. Our dd was terrible with this a few summers ago. She still has an intense and irrational hatred of flies and anything that might be a fly, but she has definitely mellowed. She is 9.5yo now. We didn't replace our garden furniture as we can't sit outside to eat a meal. I feel your pain, I hope this is a short lived phase for you all.

I'm afraid time is the only thing that has improved DS2...just the same.
He would bolt like a race horse at anything that buzzed.. and it made summers impossible.

We tried all you have mentioned...it didn't help. In the end we stopped trying to help and just tried to hang onto him when he tried to bolt....and gradually it has improved. This is the first summer I have grown flowers in the garden... and he's 18!!!! He still disapears sharpish at the sight of a bee, but can tolerate flies as long as I reassure him they are just that. He is still practically a vampire in summer because they make him very anxious, but compared to how he was when he was little... he's SO much better.

His older sister is wasp phobic which didn't help..they used to feed off each other's terror. She once ran the length of Drayton Manor faster than Usain Bolt when she was holding an ice lolly and a wasp appeared

You have my sympathy !