So grateful for help PLEASE - nearly 3 year old Hyperactive, SPD, demand avoidance?

[milkandmarmite]

My DS, nearly 3 has been seen privately (Psychatrist) after I have been worrying for months about his behaviour. He is very full on, hyperactive, huge meltdowns etc.

He had a long assessment and the the doctor felt that he had lot of the signs for SPD, demand avoidance and was quite clearly hyperactive.

He said he had a lot of the traits of autism but as his social skills were very good, he could not give him an autism diagnosis.

He also said he wouldn't be prepared to 'label' him with anything definite at this point because he is so young.

This was all about a month ago. At the time, I felt very relieved that someone had recognised that something over and above terrible twos was going on. But now I am concerned that I don't know what we should be doing. If he doesn't have a firm diagnosis does that mean he can't access any further external help?

The psychatrist did mention that he will most likely need 1:1 help at school. He is to start a new nursery in September do I need to be discussing his needs there formally? I have no idea how this process works what needs to be done etc.

Can demand avoidance exist without autism?

Sorry so many questions. I would be so grateful of help, I feel so overwhelmed!

Do you have a written report from the psychiatrist? If not please ask for one and take a copy to the nursery. Make an appointent to discuss how the nursery will meet his needs. Ask them to monitor your son and check in with you weekly. This is not an exceptional demand I've done it in secondary school with some of my pupils. Explain that your psychiatrist felt he would need further assessment as he got older and ask them to put him on the EP's list. That way when it turns out there's an 8 month waiting list you won't have lost anything. Make it clear that you will support the school in every way you can. Towards the end of the year or sooner if things deteriorate ask your GP for a referral to an occupational therapist to look at possible sensory issues. pm me if you want to chat further. good luck.

Thank you - thank you so much for your replies.

I have the Ross Greene book but will most definitely check out all the other info that you have posted.

Tissie - yes a report has been written. I will provide the nursery with a copy. Is an EP an educational psychlogist? (sorry I really am very new to this) The nursery is attached to a private school, does that make a difference?

Is it the OT that deals with sensory processing disorder then? Do most have experience with this or do I need to track one down that does?

Thanks again.

EP is educational psychologist and OT occupational therapist. Most OT's should deal with sensory difficulties but not all are experts. It's worth asking for one with the exoertise. There is usually a group of them within a local authority. Will your DS go on to the private school or a LA one? Whichever it's a good idea to get to know them early in the summer term. As your nursery is private they may not have the links with the LA school or organise visits in the summer.
I know all this eems a bit much at the moment but just take it one day at a time and you will get there. Feel free to pm me any time. Tissie

Tissie thanks for your reply. DS will be at a private school. I just looked on local authority website and EP does not attend independent schools so i guess i will have to research how that works in private sector?

Yes you're right - it feels a lot!

I think 3 is still quite a young age, what actual symptoms does your child have?

Shazza - He has a lot of symptoms - to name a few:

• Explosive rages.. can last over an hour, can be 5 per day. Aggressive, throwing things, hitting etc.
• Very rigid thinking, routines etc,
• Has extreme difficulty in getting dressed/undressed, limited diet (only eats rice!) hates being cuddled, touched.
• Hyperactive - poss adhd - too young to say as yet.

Forgot to say one of the main things is that he is completely obsessive!