What Activities/Clubs does your child do?

[Smashie11]

Morning All

(Background) My DS, 3 and a half yrs old, is currently being assessed for ASD.

So we've just come home from another unsuccessful morning at Rugbytots. In fact we had to leave early as he was being so unco-operative, not listening, refusing to join in, running about instead of sitting listening, taking his shoe off etc. He got so upset and so did I that we both cried the whole way home.

To be fair he is usually not as bad but still never great and he's one of the oldest in his class and the younger ones manage better than him. I don't know whether to keep perservering or to just admit defeat.

Not sure if I'm/we're just having a bad week. It was his end of year nursery show this week too. He refused to join in and just sat in the audience watching. He was so excited for the show and was singing the songs to myself and DH at home but when it came to the actual show he wouldn't do it.

Am I expecting too much from my DS? Maybe I'm just upset/worrying about what the future is going to hold for him. He will be going to school next year and I just can't see how he will be ready. How is he going to sit at a desk and listen? Only time he sits for any length of time is when he's playing lego marvel super heroes on the xbox (latest obsession). Sorry this has turned into a bit of a moan.

So back to why I first posted - just wondered what clubs your children enjoyed at my DS age?

Like Polter my DS could not cope with the activities that other youngsters got involved with. He has ASD and social situations are excruciating for him rather than enjoyable. Throw in noise, close proximity to others and being bombarded with verbal instructions and full anxiety soon kicked in. Now almost 12 years old he has a weekly dancing lesson on his own with an amazing dance teacher who really accommodates his needs, visits a local climbing wall to climb and goes to the gym for a work out. Not surprisingly, all activities are individual ones that he participates with on his own (or with me/his Dad belaying for the climbing) but he is now more comfortable sharing a space with other people participating in the same things but leaving him to himself other than minimal social interaction and niceties. Having been in this situation my advice would be not to compare him with what others are doing but be guided by his needs and what he enjoys, always be on the look out for activities run by people who have that special understanding to accommodate children with additional needs and spend time doing things and enjoying time together when ever possible.

Thank you Polter and Pebbles for sharing your experiences.

I think I'm maybe trying too hard with DS. Trying to get him involved in things he obviously finds difficult. He's only got 2 more sessions of rugby tots before summer hols so I won't sign him up for the next session. He does swimming lessons once a week (small class of 4) that he really enjoys so I'll just stick to that.

I'm still learning and trying to understand what makes my DS happy/sad. Think I need to follow his lead more and not be lead by what others are doing. Thank you again

My son is in Reception and has an ASC. He does no after school activities - getting through the school day is a massive effort and achievement for him.

Sometimes it's hard when parents talk about all the ballet/swimming/music classes their kids do. But I sometimes wonder how much the kids actually enjoy them anyway!

I did want to say that when my son was 3 he also refused to take part in his nursery leavers' songs. He cried so much I had to take him out. But the next year (when he was actually leaving) - he did his part beautifully. I and all the staff were in tears we were so proud.

Your son is still so little and all kids - condition or no condition - change and develop so much over time.

It's really positive and great that your son enjoys swimming.

bbkl - glad im not the only one that's tried the various different clubs. It's such a steep learning curve and I'm so grateful I've found this board with everyone's experiences/knowledge. Total godsend!

Huckcat - I know what you mean about children not enjoying the clubs. I have 2 older DDs and will admit to having to persuade them some nights to go to their clubs.

That's fab about your son at his leavers show. It's funny how moments that most people would accept as the norm are jump up and down, heart bursting with pride for us.

My DS has amazed us with the progress he has made so far and I know he will amaze us in the future too.

Would you consider yoga? DS has done it for several years now first at nursery then at school. DS has DCD so struggles with coordination and yoga really helps. Plus not competitive and mostly does not require the children to work with each other but they are all doing the same moves together at the same time. I swear by it as really seems to help him.

My dd doesn't have much tendency to sensory overload, is fairly compliant etc... but still, the vast majority of mainstream activities are just not right for her. She does almost entirely activities for kids with special needs. When they are right, they are fantastic. The people running them usually understand what is going on with her and the focus is on helping the child to have fun rather than on making the child conform.

There aren't as many such activities as I would like, and they are hard to find - word of mouth from local parents has been the main way.

I am very choosy about what activities she does. I'd rather she didn't do them than that she somehow survived them but got the message along the way that her best efforts aren't good enough.