Tribunal tips

[adrianna22]

So, I'm going to tribunal in a couple of days.

Can anyone advise on what I should wear?

Could I pass notes to my witnesses?

Do I have to provide a case statement?

Oh! and this was my biggest worry. DS dad is going to attend the hearing. Does the panel direct questions to either parents. I'm worried that DS dad will jeopardise the case, as he does not know it well at all. God help me if he speaks.

We have both decided that I will be the main speaker, but this could change in the day.

I wore jeans and a hoody but that is because I only ever wear jeans and a hoody!!

Yes you can pass notes! I wrote on a pad and my representative either wrote underneath or nodded!

I dont know what a case statement is sorry but I clearly didnt need one

The judge did speak to my DP but only once or twice, he didnt prepare all the paperwork I did so I did 90%of the talking! He also had potential to say something daft so I asked him to think very carefully before he spoke especially as our LA had hired a barrister who I knew would jump on anything he could.

Take some snacks for any breaks, it is exhausting and you need to keep your energy levels up also drink plenty.

Good luck

i usually go as a yummy mummy I guess - something comfortable is best and layers so a top and a cardigan as one minute you will be hot and next you will be cold!!! you don't need to power dress ie a suit and I would say don't - just go as you are - as a caring mum.

don't forget a photo of the child

post its are a must for passing messages down your witnesses

snacks are a must as some may not have any refreshments and if they do you will be sharing them with the LA (and often that includes the toilets as well!!!)

they will ask you general questions about your child at the beginning but no need for a formal opening case statement.

at the end you get to sum up your case so maybe just have a few notes to remind you if there any points you really want to hammer home.

make a list of the 5 key issues in the case and just keep bringing the case back to them if you need to.

and just hold your nerve - the LA witnesses will be just as nervous and they tend to be the ones who have to speak most and get asked lots of questions.

and in all honesty - I know you wont believe me now when I say this - but afterwards when you look back you will realise the hearing was actually the easiest and less stressful part of all of it!!! the LA usually behave themselves as well

and best of luck x

mine is next week - just trying to shove 4 lever arch files in a suitcase and although they fit I can sodding lift it and it falls over so need to move to plan b!! and also get off here and sort the working document out which im doing everything to avoid!

I wore jeans and a hoodie, then a skater dress and hoodie as that's my usual attire when not in the office. I wore my work pass hidden under my top and pretended it was a work meeting which helped me put my professional head on.

Dh went ( he's also clueless) but was only asked one thing " how do you feel about all this?" And he burst into tears ( I wasn't impressed).

I'm not sure what i wore was a good idea or not. I already had stated I had a corporate job in the paperwork but I doubted the LA read anything.

I don't think going wadeing in looking to assertive is going to be a good idea. I just wanted to feel comfortable

Thanks bjkmummy. I think I'm going to dress casually but smart.
Thanks for the tips! I know your dilemma with the case bundles. I didn't know it was going to so huge! The suitcase is a good idea!!! I think I may do that too.

2boys why was he crying? Did he find the whole process draining??

No - his only question from the judge was "how do you feel about all this?" So dh then said how much he loved mini 2boys and wanted the best for him then started blubbering. I wasn't impressed. Don't get me wrong dh is great but he's just not got a clue. I need support and he did that. He did managed to stare out the LA rep for seven hours straight so to be fair maybe that had broken him.

Between my dyslexia and DH's inability to see beyond the next day we have created some interesting kids

Mind you he did manage to stand outside and say far too loudly how the rep was a total knob so that he could hear which did make up for it. Not to be taken as advise for anyone else's hearing along with me losing my cool and having my arms grabbed before I jumped over the desk when the summing up was all about how I had no aspirations for my child.

Possible best to ignore most things I say. But my hearing was a cross between a episode of eastenders and you've been framed. I thought I was back at work with my 16 year old apprentice when the La rep said he didn't know he needed to bring his bundle. Priceless

Are you serious 2boys they actually said "you have no aspirations for your child"? I'm actually shocked. Did the judge reply in your defence.

Yes unfortunately it's all true. I lost my rag. The judge told me not to reply and told the rep to stop. It was horrible. But my LA seem to pride themselves on winning by any means. Even if that meant goading me until I throttled the life out the weasel with my bear hands in front if the panel.

I since found out he has a interesting background. Very popular man in my county with parents. If you insult ten parents and nine walk away intimidated then who wouldn't want to employ him?