Anyone else an expert at bridge burning?

[Ineedmorepatience]

This week I will be hitting send on my emails to sendist and my LA who have now engaged a solicitor to attend our hearing which is apporaching very fast!

It is going to burn bridges and it doesnt matter because we have other plans in place.

So if it doesnt matter why do I have a feeling of impending dread in my stomach!!

Why after all the shite we have been through and 8 yrs of Dd3 not being supported in school do I still feel bad about saying it as it is and telling the truth!

What the hell is wrong with me?

Ineed, if it doesn't change anything in your favour - then why do you feel so bad? As long as you're clear in your emails about how and why they've failed, it might actually make them think twice about the tribunal. Then again, it might give them a heads up as to how you'll hit them at the tribunal. I think it just depends what you're going to say in the email, and if you have evidence to back up what you're saying IFYSWIM.
I wouldn't worry too much about burning bridges with the LA - those will be well and truly burnt if it gets to tribunal- no fault of your own. They've failed your dc.

I sent a flurry of emails to my la just before my tribunal. I outlined why I needed support etc and the reports I had to prove why.
They ended up agreeing to all my changes a week before tribunal. But my case was different in that I was appealing for more support and ot and salt and the frequency in which they would be required.

Thanks lesley, it is not so much the LA I feel gutted about after all they have tried to intimidate me enough times including sending a solicitor to hand deliver their evidence!!

I feel so let down by the school who promised the moon on a stick and delivered nothing but one or two of the staff are genuinly nice people they just dont have the power to change anything and are too arrogant to put their hands up and admit to not being able to meet Dd3's needs!

I feel less bad having put it in writing and seen how bonkers I am being!!

Oh and I can evidence what I am saying! They sent me a nice fat pile of paperwork that they clearly hadnt sifted very well!!

I know how you feel - im having my own fun and games as you know - I sent a stinker of an email to sendist earlier dropping my LA well and truly in it - then my LA have now sent me an email (before they knew of my email) and I have a feeling something major in my case is going to happen tomorrow when they return the WD as they have pre warned me its coming and for the first time ever they have not complied with a tribunal direction (the case progression from) you know how awful my LA have been so its very very odd they haven't complied so they are deffo up to something.

I think ineed your conscience is clear - you have other plans as well and you have reached the end of the line. its so frustrating how you are passed to pillar to post, promised the world then they do nothing

send that email! If anything, it might make them quake in their boots in front of a tribunal. I remember our solicitor saying if we emailed them to give them a chance to do a u turn in our favour - we are also showing tribunal we offered them up a chance before reaching this stage.

Bridges are burnt here. La bridge was blown up with a nuclear bomb leaving a unfixable crater years ago. Good ridence

I feel bad about what's been said to the school. I feel bad because as inept as they are, I feel they do care. Then I remember ds is my problem for life, not just infant and primary. Then I get over it

Its definitely going lesley it was an order by the judge that my response has to arrive tomorrow! So it will and the LA will get theirs too!

2boys I think mine is only a firestorm rather than a nuclear bomb! But hopefully will rock a few boats!! I agree about our Dc's being our problem, I would have liked some decent support from the so called proffs along our journey but clearly that is not coming now. Now I need to say what I need to say!! Whether it helps or not!!

What on earth do you want intact bridges for? What were they servicing when they were unburnt?

It really doesn't matter how genuine or nice someone is really. That is no reason for your child to have their life-chances squashed.

If you want a nuclear bomb on your bridge then raise a formal complaint after tribunal.

I can't even talk to my case officer now. I fear my photo is the office dart board. Shame... Lol

I know starlight I dont know what is the matter with me! I guess I could be a bit depressed and certainly stressed.

I have always been the person who tries to keep the peace in my family and although as a parent I have fought tirelessly to get my childrens needs met there is still that ingrained need to not upset people!!

I have a hard out shell but inside I am crying over the failure of yet school to be able to care enough about Dd3 and at the end of the day that is actually all she needs, if she felt safe she would learn automatically

2boys if we win there are several complaints going in, when I have recovered abit from all this! I need to de-school first!

In terms of the LA it will be water off a duck's back as they will be used to having repeated complaints. Suspect it will be more of a shock for school as they pride themselves on their prize-winning SEN department. I hope that when your dd3 is released from the school gates come July her restored mental health will in turn restore yours too. In the meantime I think lots of and are in order to keep you going for the last few weeks. And because I've just spotted the icon a few 's to join forces for the forthcoming tribunal.

It's because no-one outside of the situation can possibly understand why you would be battling with those paid to help your child, so it is quite isolating.

Any failure of these paid professionals to do so, is often seen as caused by you for not 'working with them in partnership'.

Indeed, in the run up to one of my tribunals I was reported to social services for nothing more than 'disagreeing with professionals'. Well, of course I was, how would anyone arrive in a tribunal situation in the first place without it?

HA! Thanks one I will take that dragon with me next week

I am hopeful that Dd3 and I can have a period of recovery starting from July, we certainly need it and I have reduced my working hours from September so we should be able to take the world at a slower pace!

starlight Its the arrogance of them isnt it, its like they are saying "How dare you think you know whats best for your child, we are the experts, shut up and let us get in with it!" Only I tried that and they fucked up Dd3's mental health!!

I am done with "working with them" DP and I sat here this morning and agreed that we have said all we need to say a thousand times over and they havent listen upto yet!!

So now we tell someone who might have an influence over them and if the judge finds against us then at least we walk away knowing we have thrown everything at this and tried our absolute hardest to get Dd3 the help she needed!

In the meantime, I will hold it together for another week just because thats what we have to do!

Thanks everyone, I couldnt have done any of this with out you all, you have given me so much knowledge, sometimes I even surprise our advocate