DS has possible ADHD - advice?

[donniemurdo]

Hi all

Just to start with saying we are in Scotland in case that makes any difference to anything.

I've thought for a while that DS1 (nearly 9) might have inattentive ADHD. DH initially wasn't so sure but as time has gone on and DS is not improving in his attention and focus, DH also thinks it is a possibility.

He's always had a problem with focusing, being forgetful, listening to instructions, getting to sleep etc. and his teachers have always commented on it as adversely impacting on his schoolwork but have never managed to put anything in place that has made any difference. We moved house last year and he moved school and it hasn't made any difference so we know it isn't the school itself that is an issue.

The new school agrees that DS meets all the signs of inattentive ADHD but say that he is "too intelligent" to have it, which suggests to me a complete misunderstanding of the condition. However, they have said they would co-operate it we wanted to take it further and we need to go via the GP.

So, to cut to the chase, we have a drs appt next week and wondered what exactly do we say to the dr, do I go in with a simple "hi, I think DS1 might have ADHD"? And what do I tell DS1? We've not mentioned anything to him previously.

Any help would be gratefully appreciated

Thank you Poltergoose. I am going to make a load of notes and we'll just see how it goes from there!

Specifically mention that it's the inattentive symptoms that both you and his two schools have noticed and that it's affecting his school work.

Ask his teacher if there are any specific examples, highlight if there are any things common to his behaviour at home as well as school, and mention that this is something you've been wondering about for a while.

As far as what to tell your DS, we just went with 'you know how you sometimes have trouble concentrating...' and have only recently started talking around the details of his diagnosis.

Hope it goes well.

My 10yo was DXed with ADHD inattentive back in the autumn, he also has Aspergers. We took very much the route suggested by other posters-an initial chat with his doctor without him present. Subsequent meeting with paediatrician (at which he was diagnosed) was held with DS present and we talked to him in advance about why the meeting was happening.

Tbh we found that DS was very much aware of the difficulties he was having in the classroom and he was generally very positive about understanding the reason for them.

Good luck with the process OP.

Well we had our appointment, I took DS with me in the end and Dr agreed to refer to community paediatrics but said that the school should have referred not GP - which is opposite to what school said!

However, there were some things that I wasn't happy with. She asked about some strategies we had been using that the school had suggested and I said that he didn't respond well to one of them so she told me that "I had to be the parent" - erm, you don't say so, and I didn't say that we didn't persevere, just that he doesn't like it!

At end the end she also commented that not many 8 year olds would sit so quietly during a consultation, just reading his book so he was hardly "inattentive" in her opinion (together with a raised eyebrow). I had already said in his list of symptoms that there were two things that he did, almost obsessively, have no difficulties with focusing on and these were reading and playing video games. As I understand it, this isn't uncommon with inattentive ADHD?

But in the end it won't be up to her and as long as we get the referral, that is the main thing. We also have to get back to the school and suggest they request a referral from their end, which I don't think they will do due to the "too intelligent" comment mentioned in my opening post and because he has been a bit better this week for some reason.

DS is happy enough to think that there might be a reason for his lack of concentration because I think he's getting a bit ground down with the constant badgering he feels he gets at school because he's not getting started him work or getting it finished. Also because his favourite book character, Percy Jackson, also has ADHD so DS thinks it is cool that he might be the same.

Think you so much for all your replies, it has been so helpful hearing from other people who have experiences in this area