Am I doing the right thing......

[Smashie11]

Hi All

More of a lurker than a poster but really need some advice please.

My DS has an appointment with paed on Christmas Eve (yup I know great time, not!) with regards to possible asd. We have had one previous appointment with a local paed who referred him for a follow up appointment. Tbh I'm not sure what is happening at this next appointment, anyone know?

Anyway just got off the phone from my mum and she said that I shouldn't have started this process as now they are just going to be looking for things that aren't right with my DS.

He has definitely progressed loads since I first spoke to my GP about him. His speech has come on amazingly and he seems calmer and more focused on things than he once was but we still have limited eye contact and his play is limited to thomas toys.

Please someone tell me I'm still doing the right thing and not sending my DS down a path that there is no return from. I just can't decide if he's just quirky or if it's something else. Surely the paed won't diagnose something that's not there. Thanks in advance.

I would urge you to attend the appointment. My son is 9, we knew he was 'quirky' but tried to cope without a diagnosis of asd. Huge mistake. He is now 9, all problems much worse, very little support and now on waiting list. Go, if nothing else it'll put your mind at rest.

Definitely doing the right thing. Surely if things "aren't right" with your child then it's good to have them evaluated, worse to ignore them until they've snowballed into massive issues!

ds2 just turned 3, I first raised concerns with him a year ago and now he has an autism diagnosis. He sees Portage and speech therapy. He starts nursery after Christmas on whatever timetable suits him, he may have a 1:1, but at any rate, Portage will be going in to see what's what, pass on their goals so nursery can work on them and she will also evaluate how he plays with other children and what to work on there. In his year before school there is another worker who goes in to see about school readiness things.

Being proactive as soon as you can, whatever age that is, means things are in place for the next stage and can only help.

And if he's just quirky and there is no pattern of things that adds up to something else, they'll see that too and you will be reassured!

You really are doing the right thing for your child.

If you'd found a lump in your breast and now it had shrunk a bit, you'd still get it checked out.

Yes you should still go. If it is nothing it is nothing, but they aren't going to diagnose something that isn't there.

Good luck x

Thanks ladies for all your replies. Think I was just having a wobble but you are all right better to go and see than wait and potentially not get any help that he may need. Had a chat with my sister and she basically said the same plus pointed out our mum is from the 'nothing that a sterner approach won't sort out' era.

OldAntiquity - our DS are the same age and I so worry what school will hold for him. He is already being kept back a group at nursery (agreed by myself and nursery) as he finds the next age group up too much at the moment and he still has music time with the baby room as it's quieter ie no group singing.

I think I feel that once we see someone and they possibly confirm my suspicions it will make it more real whereas just now I could just be a neurotic mum. I know I need to do it for my DS sake but omg it's hard. Thanks again for your replies.

Sometimes I think my whole life is consumed by worry for ds2, but I try to refocus because I know it's not helpful. I don't know where he'll be in a few years, he may be doing so well I'll have regretted all this time spent worrying, or I may have more worries and be thinking fondly back to these easier times of being little.

Bit of a down day for me here!

Glad you are over your wobble and have your sis on your side tho!

Ah OldAntiquity I hope your feeling better today. I have up and down days too. Yesterday was not bad for me DS was really gd, we went out for dinner and apart from demanding that everyone that walked past our table said hello to him he was fine. Plus he said a new word - he told us the ice cream was disgusting, he kept asking for more so he could then say disgusting lol

Tomorrow will be more interesting as it's his nursery nativity. Last time there was a show he did a stage dive (luckily one of the girls caught him) and then proceeded to run about the hall like a maniac. Need to make sure I've got my trainers on.

at the disgusting ice cream!

I've been working on positive thought.

I think sometimes when days have been good then there's a stark reminder there are significant problems it feels worse because I've been thinking, oh well, he's fine, not so bad at all.