So it turns out that DD2 is not 'fine' according to the OT!

[lougle]

Potted history:
We suspect ASD
School agree off the record but deny on the record
SALT disagrees with us & says she's 'fine'.
In a meeting, SALT asks what OT thinks. I say 'haven't heard anything except that she's a fidget bum'. School SENCO says "that's just what DD2 said!" and the OT says she's fine.
I withdrew DD2 from school to HE.

Roll on to a new term, when I get a phone call from the OT to arrange 'feedback'. I'm clearly confused because 'she's fine'.

Long story short, the OT days that she was cleverly masking in class, that she's got quite significant proprioceptive difficulties, that her manual dexterity is on the 9 th centile and that she has a list of recommendations, including weighted lap pads, chewies, theraputty, therabands to strengthen her shoulders, move n sit cushion, making sure she's sitting in a chair with arms and a platform for her feet, etc.

She also suggested referral to an ASD specialist (private), rapproching ed psych team and contacting the SENCO of a local primary school to see if we could desensitise DD2 to the school environment.

I'm not quite sure if I should be hanging on to the HE (going well, DD2 enjoys it) or trying to get her back into a school with decent support.

Oh gee lougle !! Hope you are ok

It is really not good that it has taken all this time.

Give yourself time to digest this new info and then see how you feel about whether to try school again.

Take care

The OT is closing DD2's file because they do that now, if they don't directly offer therapy. The OT is also leaving the NHS.

When I spoke to DD2, she said she'd like to try a very small school with not too much noise.

I phoned one of the local primaries -15 intake, two year groups per class, 100 across all year groups -which never has spaces.

They have 1 space, with one on the waiting list, whose email has bounced back when they've tried it. Basically, they've said that they have to make attempts to contact, but if it isn't possible, DD2 would be their next on the list! Arrggggh.

There is no rush in that DD2 is enjoying HE, she's got a full calendar but if she could manage school she'd be so much more independent.... plus, places at that school don't come up often.

You're absolutely right. She's bouncing off the walls with excitement Last week I mentioned a different school (300 in the school) and the conversation went:

Me: 'X has moved to y school'
Dd2: 'mmmm'
Me: 'I wonder what it's like there. ..'
Dd2: 'mmmmm'
Me: 'I expect if you went there you could be in X's class. ..'
Dd2: 'mmm'
Me: 'I wonder what sort of fun she gets up to there....'
Dd2: 'mmmm'

Dd2: 'Well I'm never going back to school!'

All she's talked about since I've mentioned this small school is the school. What the uniform is, can she have a rucksack, can she go there soon....

Tbh, I'd consider appealing if necessary. With the new OT report I'd walk it.

Well I've managed to get an appointment at the school to look around at 1.30 pm today.

Good luck lougle xxxx

Wow, Lougle, great that someone is listening.
We had exactly the same, OT was great when everyone else was reluctant to get involved.
DS also has proprioceptive difficulties, and the same resources suggested.
Take care not to spend too much money on all these things, many can be made cheaply. We bought a cushion cover and filled it with 2 kg of smart price rice, rather than an expensive weighted cushion.

Our OT is also leaving the NHS and going to do some private work. I wonder if we are in the same area and talking about the same person, or if lots of OTs are leaving NHS work?

I'm down South, ilove?

I can make weighted gear - I've just finished making 8 weighted blankets and several lap pads for DD1's special school. So that's a relief.

I have just had to spend £80 on gear - DD2's OT isn't allowed to order any equipment, so she couldn't even give me a bit of Thera Band because she just didn't have it. I really felt for her. She was clearly embarrassed.

What I need you all to keep crossed/pray/beg.... is that the family of the child who is number 1 on the waiting list don't want the place or they can't be contacted at all. That's all that stands in DD2's way.

It is normal to feel a bit overwhelmed when you finally get some acknowledgement that you're not crazy, isn't it??

I was looking at the chewy toys that the OT suggested and I almost felt...weird. That stuff is for DD1, right? DD2 is the child with no issues. Yet, it's DD2's name on the pack of papers I've been given by the OT, with sensory diet, OT programme, etc. It's like....I've stepped into another world already. Even though I'm in it with DD1.

The HT of the school is also the SENCO (it's so small it only has 4 classes).

I had to wangle my way into a visit today. The HT was at a meeting this morning, so I was told I couldn't visit today. Then I said 'ooh well I was wondering if I could just have a 'scoot around' with DD2, so that she can see the building, then I could have a private meeting with the HT to discuss her more freely...'. The secretary went away, then came back and said 'Mr HT could see you at 1.30 pm today if that suits....' "Oh yes that's perfect. Thanks so much."

I suppose the years of fighting for DD1 have been useful for something.

I also got the details for the psychologist. Nice guy. £1400. So that will wait a while!!

I got some theraband from amazon, about £5 for 5 meters. I actually had some left from when I had physio on my knee years ago, but it was old and didn't last long before snapping.

Yes, I'm down South too Lougle.

Yes lougle it is perfectly "normal" (whatever that means) to feel overwhelmed!!

You knew Dd2 had something going on, you have been telling us for ages and we agreed and now you habe it in writing after people tried to make you think it was nothing!!

Not surprised you feel overwhelmed!

Good luck with the school visit

I'm back

Pretty disasterous tbh.

The HT was lovely. Really nice. He did say that they'd offered the place formally to the other family as expected, but haven't had a reply yet.

He basically very cautiously told us that the class DD2 would be going into already has a relatively high proportion of SN and they are struggling to meet those needs. He felt that DD2's needs would conflict with the needs within the class and DD2 would suffer badly.

Of course, if they had a space, they wouldn't deter us from applying, but he felt he couldn't say 'everything's rosey' when he could see that DD2 needs a calm consistent environment and the class is anything but.

The class below is lovely and calm, but he said that apart from the fact that it's full, they don't do out of year placement unless it's absolutely imperative due to the social issues.

DD2 was impeccably passive, as you'd expect.

Shame that it isn't the right place for her. Do you have other options, or will you continue to HE?

That's so disappointing, lougle but at least the HT was up front.

And, after hitting so many brick walls, assessment wise, I think your current feelings are quite normal and understandable.

No, you're absolutely right - HE is fine. It really is fine.

However, such is the whirlwind of my life, I've had two more 'offers':

1. A school 6 minds drive away has places in both year 3 and year 1. Same setup as today's school. Quite a possibility.

1. A much bigger local junior had basically said we could flexi-school. Sounds appealing, but I know that the size of the school would stop DD2 from going further than that. So.... I'm not sure long-teem it would help her. It would just cement that she can't 'do' school.

Great that the HT was honest though lougle so many aren't!!

Good luck

Oh wow lougle you've had a lot happen the last 2 days. Shame it took the OT so long to get back to you. Glad H e is going well and wish you luck with smaller school. Sounds like tour Dd2 is very good at understanding herself which is great.

Thanks! We'll see what happens on Thursday.

We went to see the school today. Everyone very nice. The SENCO spent some time with us. She's a bit fierce but seemed to be taking it all seriously.

DD2 and DD3 both start on Monday.