So it turns out that DD2 is not 'fine' according to the OT!

[lougle]

Potted history:
We suspect ASD
School agree off the record but deny on the record
SALT disagrees with us & says she's 'fine'.
In a meeting, SALT asks what OT thinks. I say 'haven't heard anything except that she's a fidget bum'. School SENCO says "that's just what DD2 said!" and the OT says she's fine.
I withdrew DD2 from school to HE.

Roll on to a new term, when I get a phone call from the OT to arrange 'feedback'. I'm clearly confused because 'she's fine'.

Long story short, the OT days that she was cleverly masking in class, that she's got quite significant proprioceptive difficulties, that her manual dexterity is on the 9 th centile and that she has a list of recommendations, including weighted lap pads, chewies, theraputty, therabands to strengthen her shoulders, move n sit cushion, making sure she's sitting in a chair with arms and a platform for her feet, etc.

She also suggested referral to an ASD specialist (private), rapproching ed psych team and contacting the SENCO of a local primary school to see if we could desensitise DD2 to the school environment.

I'm not quite sure if I should be hanging on to the HE (going well, DD2 enjoys it) or trying to get her back into a school with decent support.

zzzzz Would the school you saw (or any school) do for childcare if not education? It sounds like you need some respite.

DS is making so much progress in just 3 weeks due to my enthusiasm and proper proper rest I got knowing he was safe and happy for the 2.5 years prior. I have been able to focus on other kids for a bit and made friends with others at his school who provide social contact in an understanding way and the other children in those families have tolerance and make good friends to my dd.

Life is fluid.

As for the ABA way to treat frustrating outbursts. I guess it would be to ignore the 13:30 outburst but respond positively (though not necessarily allowing no bedtime) when he says he doesn't want to go to bed NOW. Course you'd keep data on the length of time between issue and reporting it and try and influence that after analysis.

However, I am also a believer in natural consequences for actions sometimes as well as parental sanity and can often be found saying things like 'I'm not interested in this nonsense' and walking away.

I think it sounds like his rebellion about the lack of control that having SN brings. Do is almost 9 and is incredibly angry/screechy/crying. I think we can forget that parts of them are actually almost 9, so it hurts when they can't be like the kids they see around them. On one level she knows she 'has a poorly brain' but on another level she thinks she's just like them, so it's not fair she has to hold hands, etc.

lougle I don't know if it will help your DD2 but this is helping my DS at the moment. He's keeping a diary. It's a cheap pound land academic one and he records a worry, annoyance at the time. (And I mean exact time lol!) it's helping him get it out, remember what the actual worry was, and the fact he's writing without being forced is amazing progress. Also our salt suggested using a voice recorder (iPhone or iPad have them) to record his worries at nighttime to discuss in the morning rather than let it disturb sleep.

Just be prepared for entires such as "2.07pm, I hate school, no one believes me , SOS, HELP, get me out of here!"

Oh she might go for that!!

Well, I nearly cried today.

As the children had been released to their classes from the playground, I walked past the line of children to see......

....DD2 holding hands with the other girl who was HE last year. She was beaming.

Oh Wow Lougle I hope this continues.

Hope you can take a small step back now and have a rest. You jumped in to rescue your children but you can let go for a bit until next time.

You're supper!

Supper?

I meant super!

It gets even better. The Mum has just messaged me to ask 'how is DD2 at parties...I need to arrange x's bd party...'

She's only been to two parties since she started school.

I'm so pleased for her.

:) Fab stuff!

Yay!! Great news lougle enjoy it, it is so nice when they are coping