So it turns out that DD2 is not 'fine' according to the OT!

[lougle]

Potted history:
We suspect ASD
School agree off the record but deny on the record
SALT disagrees with us & says she's 'fine'.
In a meeting, SALT asks what OT thinks. I say 'haven't heard anything except that she's a fidget bum'. School SENCO says "that's just what DD2 said!" and the OT says she's fine.
I withdrew DD2 from school to HE.

Roll on to a new term, when I get a phone call from the OT to arrange 'feedback'. I'm clearly confused because 'she's fine'.

Long story short, the OT days that she was cleverly masking in class, that she's got quite significant proprioceptive difficulties, that her manual dexterity is on the 9 th centile and that she has a list of recommendations, including weighted lap pads, chewies, theraputty, therabands to strengthen her shoulders, move n sit cushion, making sure she's sitting in a chair with arms and a platform for her feet, etc.

She also suggested referral to an ASD specialist (private), rapproching ed psych team and contacting the SENCO of a local primary school to see if we could desensitise DD2 to the school environment.

I'm not quite sure if I should be hanging on to the HE (going well, DD2 enjoys it) or trying to get her back into a school with decent support.

Wow - just read this whole thread!

Really hope it goes well for your girls today lougle. They're lucky to have you for a mum

it will be very OK

Just bookmarking to read properly later.

Lougle I'm glad you seem to have a good pathway and plan, but sorry too that you were let down.

Thanks again for calming thoughts.

Star, thank you. I know it isn't personal. It's just the product of a system which does a 'first sift' of children and their needs -the holes in their sifter are so damn large that only the most 'awkward' get stuck. Everyone else falls through the gaps and remains there unless they grow those awkward edges that will have them catch on the holes in subsequent sifts.

Well.... The HT said she had a good day. She said she'd had a good day.

The girls laughed when I said 'macaroni cheese for dinner, because they had it for lunch! Swimming after school was a bonus.

Then, it all came tumbling out that they'd done maths, she found it very tricky, so she only did two questions (18+4 -she wrote 21; 12+5 -she wrote 21). She didn't even attempt the rest. There were no number lines and no bricks, etc., so she had to use her head. The teachers didn't notice that she struggled and she was too scared to tell them.

She's not gone to bed because she's frightened the teacher will be cross with her when she sees her work and she might miss golden time.

I know I should have expected this, but I thought the 'honeymoon period' might last two or three days.

Oh terrific. DD2 has just announced that she's "not sure whether I like school or home, because I am enjoying being at home...." then has become most indignant that I've said there isn't a choice now and she's got to go to school every day.

When I pointed out that I'd told her all of this a hundred times, she said "yeah, but you didn't say the bit about no choices!!!"

Hand me the dagger now. It would be easier to just get it over with [wibble]

Why is there no [wibble] emoticon. I need one.

Lougle

You know, even if this does all come tumbling down, you're getting new data, from fresh sets of eyes. There's always going to be some positives, however this experience pans out.

So the SENCO looks over the OT report, says 'well it's nothing unusual' and says that she's sure it wouldn't lead to intervention (I know that).

I told her that I had DD2 up until 10.30 last night. She didn't say anything.

I know it's early days, but I can cry, right?

Oh Lougle you are doing your best, at what appears to me to be a very high standard of both effort and achievement. Your clear lack of delusion about what the system can offer (regardless of what it says it does) means you're so much further ahead than you could be. You've not chosen an easy path for yourself. You're a wonderful mother!

None of that means things will be great, or even work out, but if there is any hope that they can, I have no doubt you'll find a way to make it so.

Oh well, stuff it all. I'll just have to get used to DD2 staying up in the night. Perhaps I should treat myself to a lovely blanket to keep me warm?

Oh and the SENCO commented that "DD3 doesn't seem to know many of her high frequency words yet". I said "that will be because her last school didn't send HFW home for children to learn."

So that's catch-up work for DD3.

It will all even out, I'm sure.

It is what it is and it can only get worse.

This afternoon was better. DD2's teacher was lovely. She told DD2 never to worry about school work.

Happy days...

I.don't.like.roller-coasters.

You know Lougle, you have been through a number of educational provisions now. There is a reason you have left those you have left.

Experience tells you to expect to doubt this one, even if you have hope. Therefore you probably need more evidence than you would otherwise that they are doing right by your children, and a little hiccup might seem like the tip of the iceberg when it just isn't.

Who knows whether this will work? But it is early days and just maybe it will.

Honking and flapping for you Lougle. Great that the teacher said that