I know there is a starting secondary school thread somewhere but I cant find it and really need some flaps and honks!

[Ineedmorepatience]

Dd3's stress levels are going through the roof and I know why but cant do anything to help

We cut our holiday short this week because she was going downhill fast and didnt want to stay. I had planned to be away until Friday so she was occupied and not thinking about it.

She has melted down this morning over not being able to have a coloured door key, apparently our lock is too old And over not wanting me to have a cushion on the sofa!!

We need to make a new visual timetable for the mornings but not sure its a good idea, what do you all think?

I sent the email (late last night), it bounced to the form tutor, but got to HOY and SENCO (the form teacher was also the subject teacher for the incident).

Hopefully I came across honestly which is: supportive but not sure where to go next.
Actually I was at an event last night where girls go from lots of local schools, apparently at the very highly selective private girls school they are not allowed to give year 7s detentions for the first two weeks of term.

And I have a parent teacher social tonight!

Oh no mummy and one

Why does it have to be so hard?!

mummytime we have asked ds2's school to role play the exit card as he has always struggled to use this facility. Wonder if they would be willing to do that?

I have just got ds2 into the taxi (after a lot of negotiation and bribery) and warned school he will arrive in a very stressed state so I hope they will go easy on him. We have asked for his annual review to be brought forward so we can try and work out a long-term solution because we can't go on like this.

How was the cucumber salad Ineed?

mummy and , that is so stressful. I would go and meet them too to discuss further needs and strategies and ask for the detention to be something productive like sit with a specialist ASD TA to talk about feelings and exit card. It is not fair that she should have a normal detention as they haven't met her needs.
one and too.

SENCo emailed back and is going to talk to DD today, is talking to ASD support, and has booked us in for a meeting (she is the best thing about the school, its a good school but she is amazing).

Of course on a 5 point scale DDs base level today is a 2 (eg. if she'd been meditating she'd be a 2 not a 1). Then she struggled to find a hairband, has PE, and the traffic was bad. It was very hard leaving her - I tried to tell her clearly that if she is "stressed" (can't use that word, it triggers) to go to the HOY. Oh and first teacher is highly qualified but ineffectual (and possibly on the spectrum so not great at empathy).
But the phone hasn't rung yet.

DH and I chatted briefly, he praised my email - of course he's working overseas.

Well let see what happens now.

He was pleased to tell us that one of the goady boys wet himself in a lesson and that one of the not very nice kids from his old primary has already had an exclusion for swearing at a teacher.

It's very hard not to believe in Karma when things like that happen.

One really feel for you after all you have been through to try to find the right school for Ds2 and now this

The cucumber and fruit salad was actually gorgeous thanks, although having food tech and band on the same day did nothing to improve her stress levels, despite loving both because of all the carrying, storing and retrieving of various items around the school at the end of the day! I did take and collect her so that should make it a bit easier, it is just alot to cope with!!

polter All I can say is "What goes around, comes around!!" and I am not a nasty person either

mummy your Dd's senco sounds wonderful like the one a Dd3's school, the only thing I worry about is that we need about 10 of her to look out for all the Dc's who need support and protection from some staff!! I agree with molly she should not be going in detention!! It will be something like that that will tip me into angry mummy mode!!

Oh I'm holding back because tbh - I think it is the class teacher/form teacher's problem. She is young (not NQT but not very experienced) and I don't think knew how to deal with it. The school has a discipline code, but obviously it wasn't appropriate here, but we'll work on that.

In my older DCs experience detention isn't that bad usually - DS enjoyed every single one he had(fortunately not too many). So I doubt it will do her much harm, if she can just hold it together today.

DD didn't hurt anyone - which is great.
She did rip her planner - and we do need to stop her ripping things up.

There doesn't seem to have been a TA there - but there has been in other lessons. This is something that needs to be looked at - a TA who could spot problems would have helped.
It will also help a lot if they realise that group work is a trigger spot (because her communication skills with other DC are lacking, so unless she gets her own way...).
If she wasn't so bright she wouldn't learn a thing at school, because she has so much else to struggle with.

Oh thanks for all the

I so get that mummy about them having so much to struggle with!

When Dd3 was tested by the EP she scored really high in some areas but really struggled in others.

I think most teachers only see that she is bright and forget what she has to go through just to be in the room most days!!

Also my Dd3 never ever asks for help or lets on that she needs help! One of the reasons we have been trying to get her statemented is because she needs a TA who can learn to read her, it cant carry on being only me who can do this!!

On Dd3's Note in Lieu the idiots from the SEN team wrote that she doesnt need a statement because it can't be predicted when she will need help so it should be left to the school to support her!!

So of course we are back to, she will have to fall apart before anything is done to help her

So far the school have done well but the cracks are appearing and Dd3 is really really tired!

That was a nice thing to do polter

I think I am just finding it really hard to trust that the new school wont cock up like the last two ! [dont know how I feel emoticon]

I do feel slightly bad for the kid who wet his pants though, not totally as it's not the end of the world and people forget, but i do a bit.

So do I Jason, it's a horrid thing to happen to any child.

It's possible that it might make him change his attitude, but you never know maybe he has problems and it might make them worse.

What a shame polter do you think knowing that they dont have science too many times a week help?

would help

I'm going to assume that explaining lower set classes don't always mean you are less smart isn't an option at this moment?

Detention went okay - and she's back to thinking her form tutor is okay.
But she didn't eat - because she didn't buy first, and after there wasn't much left (of course she is sticking to buying a very limited number of things, but its still better than primary - she was terrified of the dinner ladies).
She's also lost her PE kit, has looked for it, but it hasn't turned up yet.