Wow, it took me ages to read all of this thread, but glad i did. Kind of a relief that other Mums have these problems too! Ds will only eat a small range of food, but now a days these can include:
tomatoes (firm, unblemished) with lots of black pepper on
lettuce/raw spinach (with black pepper)
spring onions (has had only once, but liked)
pasta until it comes out of his ears (preferably plain but with passatta occasionally and pepper)
lasagne (but going off this now)
margherita pizza (with pepper)
chocolate mousse
shreddies and full fat milk
half tap water/half fizzy flavoured water
ribena juice
ham and cheese rolls (with obligatory black pepper)
McDonalds plain cheese burgers with chips - but he'll test each chip individually to make sure they are not crispy, or will reject them.
When he was younger, i insisted that he visit a dietitian as his diet only consisted of pasta and yoghurt, but she said he was growing so nothing to worry about. At the time he wouldn't drink anything so i took to mixing water in with the yoghurt and spoonfeeding him water. She did give me the bit about "some mothers come in here and their kids are climbing the walls and all they feed them is McDs/BK or KFCs".
He is 9 next week and only just weighs 4 stone, but is 4' 5" tall - so i guess pasta wasn't so bad for him after all. He still hates to use a knife and fork (sensory probs with metal) preferring to eat with his fingers, but at school i don't think the dinnertime staff would know he is AS/ADHD.
Tbh, I know alot of NT children who eat worse than him, so am not ashamed that his lunchbox contains the same things, day in, day out. He eats it (though it can take him an hour) and that in itself is enough to make me happy.
Good luck with the no smoking Redbull!