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I give ds all this to eat and i dont give a crap!!

201 replies

redbull · 11/09/2006 16:08

he has
tea in the morning and before bed
bovril
pizza (everyweek)
chips (everyweek)
crisps everyday
chocolate everyday
fruit shoots most days
sos rolls in his push chair
chinease once a week
billy bear meat
bernard matthews dinosours
youngs flipper dippers
yazoo milkshakes
i dont care if i have to bribe him with chocolate to eat i dont care if he drinks all this crap as far as im concerned with his sensory problems its a blessing he eats this

OP posts:
redbull · 11/09/2006 18:16

arrrrr you see everyone thats why i did this thread as i know we are not the only ones whose child is like this with food SN or not, Mn is meant to be a place where everyone can view their own opinions but sadly on these my child will only ask for organic food and pure water you cant express what happens for your own childs food

OP posts:
MissChief · 11/09/2006 18:29

but (am i'm talking non-SN here) having a fussy child isn't a reason for giving them crisps for breakfast, is it? They can be fussy and not have the healthiest of breakfast while at least having something vaguely good-ish for them, rice crispies whatever

MissChief · 11/09/2006 18:30

i'm not getting at anyone, just really don't see why fussy-eater (NON-SN) = have to give them what the hell they like. if i did this, sure my son wd exist on sticks of rock and ice-buns!

coppertop · 11/09/2006 18:32

A typical day of eating (or not) for ds2 would be:

Milk
White bread
2 biscuits (at pre-school)

And that's it. He's 3.5yrs old and autistic. On a really good day he might also have a couple of pieces of banana but that's it. Pre-school staff have also worked hard to introduce more fruit. Even they now consider it a major victory if he licks a grape.

I don't know the statistics but a lot of children with ASD if given the choice between starving and eating something they can't tolerate will choose starvation. Even as a newborn ds1 (also autistic) refused to feed. Despite the MWs assurances that no baby will starve themselves my ds1 did just that. Having not taken even one single drop of milk he was taken to SCBU at 4 days old and had a NG tube fitted. Later I realised that he would not feed because his mouth was so sensitive that he couldn't bear anything in it.

That is the reality of life with a child with ASD.

PeachyClairHasBadHair · 11/09/2006 18:34

No it's not- and I think you'll find a whole thread agreeing with that (without exception) on the main board- this IS the Sn board, and I did feel a bit got at myself. I also do feel got at in town /school when I give Sam what he wants, rather than what he'll dump but I feel good about buying. Untilr ecently-ish, DS WAS the fabled child who ate nothing but fruit and veg, but that somehow slipped away.

However, NEWSFLASH: He ate rice for tea today

That's STARCHY food!

PeachyClairHasBadHair · 11/09/2006 18:36

no baby will starve themselves

Ah yes coppertop- remember that one well! caused me endless misery that, coz they will, ohyes they will (or dehydrate themselves, which id ds's preferred option of a day)

Piffle · 11/09/2006 19:07

My dd is very low weight and has problems with fat absorption so she needs a higher than average diet wtih sugars.
I have resisted the whole time giving her shit - she also has a heart defect so loading her body with rubbish would be an horrendous piece of parenting on my part.
The other foods have simply never been available to our dd, I probably would have let her eat nothing rather than feed her something I am so diametrically opposed to.
BUT that said she does not have any of those peculiar food habits that many ASD kids seem to have
I have seen them in action and tbh in that situation heaven knows what I'd do.
It can seem cut and dried, but it is far from I suspect.
is ther proper dietetic support for you mums with children with such food aversions?

r3dh3d · 11/09/2006 19:08

Pffft. I starved myself as a baby. I more or less had to be force-fed. And I'm (allegedy) NT though I strongly suspect AS. Until the age of 4 I would only eat white bread salami sandwiches, with no butter. My mother tried starving me but gave up when I passed out.

DD1 (SN, probably including ASD) has some texture issues though tbh her diet isn't [i]that[/i]bad. The thing that strikes a chord is the self-harming if fed things they don't like - she started self-harming about 4 months ago and we're terrified of it becoming deep-seated behaviour and her permanently damaging herself, so you do whatever you can to distract her from it. Compromising on what she has for dinner is fairly trivial by comparison.

redbull · 11/09/2006 19:11

know just what you mean coppertop, ds is at a SN school and they have worked really hard with him with food but he still wont budge, wont eat any fruit at all if me or dp has some he will leave the room till we have finished it.

Peachy this is why i did this thread so we could post what our kids eat and are happy with the food as they are eating, i thought if i did it on the SN section we are all on familiar ground and know we can post how we feel within our limits with out people getting to us, feel sorry for the mums on here who have not got a SN child but are picky eaters it must really get to them to about fruit shoots and sos rolls.

OP posts:
Blossomhill · 11/09/2006 19:12

Not all children with asd are fussy although I know the majority are.
My dd with AS doesn't stop eating and that in itself is a problem. She is constantly hungry and will graze all day long.
She is good though and will eat any fruit/veg but has started to not want butter or anything "wet", which I think is probably sensory related.

noonar · 11/09/2006 19:19

mrs 2shoes, have just spotted your name on the brighton meet up thread. hope you won't hold this thread against me! didn't mean to stray into the SN zone( as i have no experience here ).

mrs2shoes · 11/09/2006 19:25

MissChief have a feeling that was directed at me
ds is very fussy but will have toast or cereal for breakfast most days.
DD who is sn is a brilliant eater but breakfast has always been the "bad meal" have no idea why
today she had
pancake(those funny bread things) normally has cereal as doen't get on with toast due to the texture(she has cp so chewing isn't always good) a packet of crisps and a pot shot
most days she eats "good food for lunch and tea
ds is just fussy
sorry I think in my hurried post I didn't explain myself very well.
her fave food is fish in sauce mashed spud and swede and carrot followed by apple crumble and custard.
so I have one good eater out of 2 so half way there

mrs2shoes · 11/09/2006 19:25

noonar of course not looking forwrd to eating you and eating junk food

redbull · 11/09/2006 19:32

you know what 2shoes i say who gives a flying toss if your SN child eats crisps for brecky by the sound of it she enjoys 1 healthy meal so i think that cancels out the crisps

some mornings for brecky ds will only eat 1/4 bovril and dairylee cheese sarny and a packet of mini cheddars, hes got food in his belly as far as im concerned and the tea will swell up the biscuit and bread and make him more full till snack time of crisps at school

OP posts:
mrs2shoes · 11/09/2006 19:54

thanks redbull like you say I just want her too eat.

Jimjams2 · 11/09/2006 20:17

oh its so important when you have food problems to realise you're not alone so well done for starting this redbull.

DS1 was weaned on homemade food and until he was about 15 months would eat anything- organic of course- god I was so smug Anyway he then cut down and cut down-this tied in with his regression- he was losing words, losing eye contact and referencing stopped, other sensory stuff came into play, an aversion to putting feet on grass or the carpet for example. The last "sensible" food he would eat was fish fingers- although in the end he would only eat them with jam! And then that went too. We were left with a child who would eat bread and cheerios and nothing else. He would have smoothies, so we worked hard on those until one night he had a tummy bug - few hours after drinking a smoothy- and that was it smoothies gone as well. Bread and cheerios it was.

I had him tested at Sunderland and found he had problems with gluten. So we switched to gluten free bread and cornflakes. Soya yoghurts, then switched to dairy yoghurts- didn''t seem to be any casein problem than goodness. I hid (still do) all sorts of things in the bread- hemp flour, currently linseed. I found he would eat banana bread so we made that. My dad managed to get him to eat buckwheat pancakes. And buckwheat pancakes with cheese (coated in jam) are a twice weekly tradition in our house.

He went through a phase of eating apples, would eat 3 or 4 a day then overnight that stopped, and he now shudders if I put an apple near him.

When he was at mainstream school he would frequently eat nothing all day.

Since going to special school where foiod forms a major part of the curriculum he began to expand his diet. First into potato waffles, although they were Jamie Olivered and off the menu (first new food in 4 years oh joy gone). Then his school started by giving him ready salted crisps with a tiny piece of baked bean sauce on one corner. Then one baked bean as a crisp sandwich (one crisp broken in half with a baked bean between the 2 halves). From that he moved onto teaspoons of baked beans then mashed potato. from mashed potato they started adding tiny bits of casserole sauces, and now he'll eat casseroles. This summer I added rice to casseroles. Now he's on casseroles I can grate veg etc into the food, first veg for 4 years. I still have to use a mssive amount of ABA to get him to eat. So I dish up a casserole. He runs away. I bring him back to the table waving a chocolate button. He starts screaming, I say "big mouth then button" he opens his mouth, then closes it then lunges for the button, I hold it up again "big mouth then button". Eventually he'll take the foirst mouthful then subsequent ones are easier.

The "my child eats healthy food because I've been so great at weaing and feediing him/her" don't even enter my reality to be honest. They're so far outside our existence. Trying to get ds2 and ds3 to eat a healthy balanced diet when they have full blown eating disorder behaviour in front of them at every mealtime is another challenge.

The Great Ormond Street Clinic is supposedly very good if almost impossible to get a referral to. The book "can't eat won't eat" does summarise some of the techniques they use.

Jimjams2 · 11/09/2006 20:19

The schools program - from waffles to baked bean sauce on crisp to casseroles took over a year.

coppertop · 11/09/2006 20:19

The advice of ds2's OT and Child Psych is to go with the flow and not make food into a big issue. They said that a laid-back approach works best as they have seen what happens when families get stressed out at mealtimes.

coppertop · 11/09/2006 20:21

Crossed posts with Jimjams.

Jimjams2 · 11/09/2006 20:27

God I sit there with a rigid smile on my face- holding the spoon out saying "big mouth then button", ds1 is an ace at flicking it so it goes all over me- in my hair - coats my clothes (then I come on mumsnet and find lots of "oh I can't understand why people don't wear nice clothes" threads )

Actually ds1 doesn't stress me out so much now. If one dasy he won't eat casserole or whatever I do him toast- now I know he does eat veg a couple of times a week, and meat usually at least twice a week I'm not so concerned. I find it very difficult with ds2 and ds3 though. DS2 knows to play up at mealtimes because that's when ds1 is getting lots of attention, and ds3 is bsicuit obsessed. I would quite happily bin all biscuits if it was just him and ds2, but I can't because I need them as reinforcers for ds1 (and the only reliable reinforcers for ds1 are sweets and biscuits).

MrsFio · 11/09/2006 20:29

atm dd is eating fine so I can join the smig brigade but I so klnow where you are coming from redbull

and 2 shoes my dd was so malnourished at 2 that she had to have a high calorie diet (albeit temporary until the weight went on) so i can understand the crisps, plus the bus picks them up sooo early anyway!

MrsFio · 11/09/2006 20:29

and dd's gut cant cope with JO dinners, I must do bland cooking!

MrsFio · 11/09/2006 20:30

smig I meant smug

coppertop · 11/09/2006 20:35

You mean you don't wear Boden, Jimjams?

I suppose I could join the semi-smug brigade. Ds1 loves fruit and vegetables and hates cake and sweets. It must be because he's always been exposed to healthy food - while ds2 was locked in a dark cupboard filled with 'plastic' bread from an early age.

PeachyClairHasBadHair · 11/09/2006 20:39

My Mum tells me that as a child I went two years on nothing but baby food- lamb casserole and chocolate pudding. Then I rmember cutting out all sorts of different foods becasue they felt funny (it's gritty i cn't do, or worse of all fatty- i still cut the fat off bacon). I went on to develop pretty serious eating disorders in my early twenties and that's why I WILL NOT amke an issue out of food in this house, it Just ain't happening, I've seen the bad side. I am wary about fats becasue dad and Mum both ahve high BP in thei fifties so I stick to olive oil where I can, but Sam's weight loss has been toos evere lately.

DS3- wh I suspect has traits of autism, rather than full blown- doesn't do brekky unless it's egg on toast, boiled, no spread, and the toast gets left. He also dribble a lot and doesn't say much so I suspect there may be chewing issues there too.