Last post here, I'm moving to behavioural board

[Babieseverywhere]

Good news, there is nothing wrong with my DS. After an hour talking to lady who works for comm paed told us he is too chatty and shows good imagination, apparantly if it was asd he would be quieter.

I disagreed with the imagination point, as repeating what he watches on youTube is not using imagination to my mind which she agreed, but the main point still stands.....he is fine, thank goodness. :)

DS behaved just as expected never stopping still, spinning, crawling, talking none stop about Minecraft.

So that is that, I am officially a bad parent.:( Even better the school will have a letter stating that soon. Oh well, guess that will make the tutting, gossipy parents happy, as they watch me dragging my kicking screaming child into school, every morning.

I am moving back to behavioural board to see if I can get some pointers about getting my DS to school on Monday.

Lady is referring DS to SALT for a higher level language assessment and for a hearing test and a review of those meeting in four months with the comm paed.

I will be contacting school to cancel the asd unit assessment we were waiting for, as we need a referral to the behavioural unit for help getting him into school and the school can't refer to both places at the same time.

On the bright side behavioural problems can often be corrected, if I can figure out what I am doing wrong.

Thanks for listening whilst I was waiting for an appointment...turned out school, DH was right.Hope he does have friends at school, I would love to be wrong there too.

If the lady whoever she was thinks your Ds needs his higher language skill assessing then that suggests to me that she thinks there could be an issue!!

I am sorry you have convinced yourself that you are a bad parent!! Bad parents dont normally spend hours trying to understand their childs behaviours!!

Fwiw, I still think you should go to the Asd assessment.

Good luck whatever you decide

"apparantly if it was asd he would be quieter."

Seriously? My ds2 (ASD) never stops talking! He also has a very vivid imagination which contributes to him being awake half the night.

Fair enough to rule out ASD if he doesn't meet the diagnostic criteria but the reasons you were given sound very odd (to put it mildly!).

my DS has ASD and never shuts up! seriously i am sick of hearing about lego 24/7.
in my area a higher SALT assessment is part of the ASD pathways assessment, it might actually flag up that there is a problem with your little one rather then just behaviour so don't give up yet!

I agree with that coppertop my Dd3 could never, ever be described as quiet!!

Babies if you're going to let the first person who gives you the brush off convince you that you're just a bad parent, I'll eat my hat.

I reckon that most people here were told their child was fine at some point. DD1 goes to special school and it took until she was 2 years and 9 months old for anyone to take me seriously (in fact even then, it was only because she'd started preschool and they couldn't cope with her that they believed me...)

That was my three main concerns...

24/7 talk about Minecraft
Terrible behaviour on way to school
No friends

She didn't have time to read my 18 pages of A4 concerns but put it in his file.

Lady was nice and see but said asd children are more literal and I said yes DS is very literal, several examples in my concerns.

Sigh, looking forward to a glass of wine later, moght have two.

Who is 'the lady who works for the community paed'?

Incidentally, my DS doesn't have ASD (has been through a formal assessment) but that doesn't mean his problems are behavioural - he has dyspraxia and is also being assessed for ADHD.

Why are you cancelling your referral? :(

But this department is the expert in this area.

I must confess I was upset and she did reassure me that even if she had thought there was a problem, the next step would be the same and if she had missed something then the SALT people would pick it up.

I will keep up his behaviour diary, I reckon the behaviour people will want to see it. Plus in four months I will meet the comm paed herselfand when she tells me I am mistaken I will believe her, as she is very experienced.

Just feeling very down and dreading Monday school run.

Not cancelling the comm paed stuff (high level language assessment with SALT, hearing test and appointment with comm paed)

I am thinking of cancelling asd unit assessment from local special school (lot lower lever of expertise than the meeting I have just been at) that school had arranged, so that the school will put us straight on the referral list for behavioural help.

I have to agree with the others, if you still have concerns and you are not convinced don't be fobbed off by this lady. At my dd first paed appointment we were told it 'probably wasn't asd as she wasn't stuck in rountines' but they would see her every 6 months to review....ffwd 2years later and last month the same paed gives her dx of asd and 'on the more severe end'
Agree with ineed if you were just a bad parent you wouldn't be spending so much time trying to figure it out.
It may not be asd but IMO there must be something and I doubt its just behavioural as a result of bad parenting.
We were told by one medical prof that DD didn't have asd+had hearing issues (despite audiology giving her the all clear), and the complete opposite from another the very next day! (None of whom were qualified to dx btw) Its horrible going back+for in your own mind constantly, I know. I'd wait and speak to comm paed herself.

Babies you are clearly not a bad parent. There must be a reason that your ds is struggling with school and I very much doubt it is down to you. I wouldn't cancel the asd assessment, but I would try some conventional parenting techniques such as 123 magic. They work a treat on my nt ds2, if your ds is nt then they should help him (apologies if you have already tried them as I assume you have)

Fwiw my asd ds1 is very chatty and has no trouble playing fighting imaginative games with his friends. It's just that it is the same game over again, and it takes a lot of observation to see that.

I mean if 123 magic and the like make no difference to your ds then it is highly likely that there is something else going on

Another one with very chatty (well at least they were at five) AS children. There is a big difference though between being chatty and being able to have a conversation which hopefully the SALT will be able to pick up.

When DS1 was seen by the community paediatrician she wrote a detailed report saying he did not have ASD, needed to go to more clubs and be around other kids more and that I was overly anxious.

I persisted and a few months later he was assessed at the Newcommen centre where they confirmed he had severe issue including ASD/LDs and OCD.
He went straight to special school and still has significant delays 12 years later Aged 17.

I will attend all meeting arranged. I doubt DH will now he has been proven right.

Ironically DS wanted the toilet earlier, normally I go with him but decided not to as it is only behavioural..he got upset so DH took him. But why take him if he is playing us ?

I have no idea what I am going to do on Monday school run, sigh.

Don't cancel. Woman is talking out of her arse.

i have a non verbal child who never stops chattering

It seems to be her job to fob off/screen DC before they see the comm paed. Unfortunately this is totally normal. Ignore what she says and focus on what she actually does - SALT for higher level language comprehension - commonly assessed weakness in DC with ASD. Behavioural issues do not have an association with higher level language or functional language.

There is a difference between being chatty and having reciprocal conversations. Delivering a monologue about an interest (I am with you with the minecraft) is not social dialogue.

You are not a bad parent at all. You are being fobbed of. Ignore and carry on. I believe that ASD should be ruled out before psychological or behavioural causes are assumed.

Fobbed off

Onward and upwards...see what SALT says then.

Guess I really was hoping to get something of use today. ..not go away and drag your naughty kid to school till he learns to behave.

paed told me several several times that Dd cannot have Asd. eventually (thanks to a brilliant Salt) we had the Ados and Dd was dx with asd. she is on the more severe end and not HF.

don't let anybody fobb you off.

How can people miss severe asd !

Even is I got a dx, DS would be very mild, so I can see it would be easy to miss and I may never get an answer.

So the SALT referral might be of use. I just thought he talks too well for them to be of use to him iyswim. I also doubt they could get him off Minecraft, to answer their questions.

their assessment won't be to see how well he talks.
when my ds had his higher level assessment it was loads of little scenarios and tests to see how he understand social interaction. lots of games pairing things up and sequencing. it took all afternoon because he was constantly kicking off and refusing to co-operate, he's very demand avoidant with his asd!

Ahh, I thought it was more physically speaking, iyswim. Well that might be more useful.