Help me decipher pead letter

[Pootrouble]

Hi just reading a pead letter and it has the following paragraph in it which is word for word how it reads.

My feeling is Minipoo exhibits a number of attachment difficulties and displays high levels of anxiety that need to be understood in the context of both her behaviour and her parents responses to them and that her pro social behaviour, her awareness of other and her capacity for imaginative play does not suggest a simple autistic spectrum difficulty as the root cause.

So, I cannot fathom this paragraph. Is he saying that our responses to Minipoo are detrimental somehow? Is he saying there is no ASD at all or that it isn't a straight forward ASD? I think it's a very long paragraph with poor grammar and it makes it hard to read. I've now got to the point where I've read it so many times it makes even less sense!!

Yes, it sounds like they're trying to blame you. Not uncommon.

Oh bugger it. I took it to show head teacher and she said she didn't read it detrimentally to us and that she assumed he meant attachment difficulties with regards to her difficulties separating from me. She couldn't work out the last bit though either

Yes, he's saying that she's too socially able and aware of others to have ASD. He's saying that her interaction with you/attachment is the root of her anxieties. Sorry

sounds like he's saying its attachment difficulties and not asd. hopefully she can have some camhs input to help her x

oh great! this letter is actually almost 2 years old but I'm looking back over them (as we aren't get anywhere!) and wondered what it meant. The pead has now retired so i guess we will never know! Oddly his letters since this one have not mentioned anything of the sort. Maybe its a good thing he's retired he was quite higgledy piggledy - due to see new pead in a few months so may ask him for some answers.

Thank you for asking Polter. I am really not sure. me and dd have a great bond and she's over attached to me if anything. However, something has always been 'not right' I suspect she may have slight selective mutism issues caused by her high anxiety levels but i just don't know. The only thing we do know is that she has sensory issues, she gets anxious about everything (school,parties, visiting relatives), she's controlling. She's calm and placid at school to the point where she's like another child BUT she's too quiet - teachers say hi to her in the morning and she ignores them - like she does with her other people when she's anxious. She can't be totally silent for hours when she's around people she feels anxious with. She has sleep problems.

Somethings not right. I work with kids that struggle with attachment disorder so i know she doesn't have that. I feel really stressed!! School are only just recognising that something is up now that i have asked them for help. They have provided a visual timetable for her and one for home (their idea not mine).

From what you wrote in the last post I would say there are red flags for Asd there!!

Not using or understanding the use of social greetings is one and the sensory issues are too. Being over attached to one parent can also occur in Asd. I read something recently written by Tony Attwood about that.

Read some of his stuff on Girls with Asd and see how you feel then.

The others are right, they are trying to put the responsibility for her behaviours on to you.

Dont give up, it took me 3.5 yrs to get Dd3 dx'ed but we got there in the end!

Good luck

thank you ineed i think she does have some flags and not others. she has intense interests with things (we are currently watching a certain Disney film every day!) and has to collect all the paraphernalia that goes with her fave films etc it drive me bonkers!!!

will it be better for me to try and see the new lead in our current PCT and see what he is like or shall i just bite the bullet and ask for second opinion?
I do feel like we've been held up slightly in the system and that things have been blocked due to a disagreement between myself and the leading child psych in our area that heads that child development team

If that film is Frozen, I feel your pain. DD2 has watched it at least 20 times in the last week, then in between sings 'Let it go'.

no its not Frozen - DD says we must NEVER watch Frozen as she seems to think it has swearing in it!!! so we can't watch it. no unfortunately its toy story 3 so we now have to collect Lotso and Mr Pricklepants ho hum

fab thanks for those polter thats really helpful

Even the imagination stuff can be difficult to spot in girls, Dd3 does a great impression of imaginary play with her play mobil but when you listen carefully she is just replaying her day or a tv program!

Is your Dd very literal in her understanding of language? That can be another red flag and also a source of confusion and frustration.

Oh and meant to say, girls can be really good at copying social skills off other girls. Dd3 can appear to be able to cope in social situations at school but actually she is exhausted with the effort involved to concentrate on all the different rules and the speed of the social interactions.

She needs lots of down time and becomes overloaded if she doesnt get it.

Yes she is very literal! One example we were going somewhere called Bearfeet. Dd looking at the leaflet for it which had a huge bear on it and said she couldnt work out why it was called bearfeet (despite the pic!) and was it because you needed to take your shoes off. She wont use bathbombs as she cant accept that they arent really a bomb! And many others....

its hard enough when you have a high functioning boy. feel for you guys with girls who seem to offer even more of a challenge with recognition.

Maybe your DC is like my DS1? Very attached cos I make his world a better place? Our OT once said I am the perfect mum for my DS1 and that's precisely why. yes we may accommodate. but then why shouldn't we? (within reason of course). lets hope you get the recognition yo
u deserve soon xx

Dd is like that - she meltsdown as soon as shes home from school.she needs lots of quiet time plugged into the ipad!

Thank you Jerbil I hope so too! I have just pinged off an email to bristol childrens hosp to see if any peads there do a private clinic and have emailed the priory as well. Cant afford to travel all way to london

I think jerbil could have a valid point there

Dd3 is very very attached to me, to the point that trying to pop to the shop without her causes a major trauma especially if she is already stressy.

I am like Dd3 I struggle with many of the same things so I totally get her, I have read loads and had loads of advice off here. All of which has made me able to read her and help her to navigate the world.

I really hope you find a knowledgable Paed, Dd3 was eventually diagnosed using a DISCO assessment which was designed to pick up hard to diagnose people, maybe you could ask if anyone is qualified to deliver it.

Good luck

It sounds like you do have selective mutism issues. These can be part of an ASD or not and often get overlooked or misdiagnosed as autism (though it is possible to have both AS and SM, my son does). The communication withdrawal is just one symptom of the social anxiety seen in SM - it is a social inhibition which is usually more pervasive that just speech. For example, my son can and does speak in school to answer direct questions that are factual (eg what is 7x8) but cannot answer socially based questions even if these are 'easier' (such as 'what did you have for lunch') if they are asked by a teacher. His inhibition extends into spontaneous initiation of any communicative action - he cannot ask to got to the toilet (for years he would n't go to the toilet at all in school), or hand in homework unless he is asked for it, or hand over a communication card- and the SM is compounded by his poor motivation to communicate b/c of the AS. The definition of SM is the absence of speech caused by anxiety in people who can speak at other times. I would pursue this as a co-diagnosis because those communication difficulties can be addressed; it is different from autism in that my son will always have autism but I live in the hope that he will not always have selective mutism.

There's a very active SMIRA (support for SM) group on facebook.

For the record, my responsiveness to Ds and his behaviour was 'not normal'. How could it possibly be. He was my first.

I remember when he had grommets at age 4. I made a song and dance insisting they DIDN'T put any numbing cream on him before the GA and when he was asleep headed off having to be called back to kiss him . I felt and no doubt looked uncomfortable kissing him in front of everyone, doing something that felt almost like taking advantage of him in a vulnerable state, as awake he would have flinched (another thing that would no doubt raise concerns if witnessed).

ASD causes unusual responses from parents not usually the other way around.

Thank you claire amd star. I have joined Smira group in the last few days thanks its very helpful. Yes star I agree they do make you behave in an unusual way