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DD2 has just BEGGED me not to send her to school

132 replies

lougle · 14/04/2014 22:23

She's had the most lovely time with her cousins - a sleepover then a day out with them. But it transpires that they've been telling her not to suck her hand in the last couple of days, as do the children at school, and the teachers at school.

She's just begged me to be a 'home learner'.

The saddest thing was when she said 'I really want to learn at home but I'm worried that if I do miss my friends I won't know the way to their houses when they invite me over to play.' The truth is, she doesn't have any friends to be invited to play with. She associates with the other children, but none would be 'friends'. That's why it was so precious to go and spend time with her cousin (same age, same year group, same school, different class).

It kills me to hear her distress and I know that she knows we keep ignoring her pleas. I can't work out if we genuinely think it's the best for her (she is a child, after all, so we can't let her unilaterally make decisions), or if we're just chicken.

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StarlightMcKenzie · 23/04/2014 23:09

I know. I'm gonna chase him around twitter until he gives it to me!!!

zzzzz · 24/04/2014 00:34

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lougle · 24/04/2014 10:07

That's all very interesting.

DD3 said yesterday, "I had to borrow school clothes because I wet myself." I thought Confused 'she hasn't wet herself in years.' Then, I looked again and saw that she was wearing a complete set of spare clothes.

It turned out that she was saying 'wet myself' because she was riding a bicycle and toppled it, landing in a puddle. Because it was her action that led to the toppling, she decided that she'd got herself wet, hence 'wet myself'.

Our language is so subtle at times.

On further developments in the school front:

DD2's TAC meeting has been cancelled because the Paed can no longer make it. Quelle suprise. The SALT is going to try and fix up another date. I've told her that we're giving serious thought to HE. It was quite a nice chat, all in all.

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zzzzz · 24/04/2014 11:03

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lougle · 24/04/2014 11:24

Yes, I've read a little and DD2 does fit that. I'm wondering, also, how much of her rigidity is a response to her anxiety. Time will tell.

The TAC meeting is not likely to be any time soon, if I know the Paed. He's normally always incredibly busy so I'd be surprised if he could carve out time for a meeting at a school about a child who doesn't concern him greatly.

I've asked DH to think about the situation and think what he'd like next steps to be, then I'll talk to him. It's fairer that way - I think so fast and formulate my reasoning so strongly that he can get railroaded into something before he's even thought about it. So I'm giving him time to think.

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zzzzz · 24/04/2014 11:41

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lougle · 24/04/2014 22:09

I spoke to her teacher today. She says dd2 is very happy in class, lots of friends, works well, etc. I said that may be so, but her perception is different.

When my home start lady and I gently discussed HE vs. School with her she completely clammed up and would only shrug her shoulders. She said that she wanted to learn at home and if she said anything nice about school we wouldn't let her be a home learner.

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