Son on overload ?? ASD ? Help please ... Newbie

[happyanyounoitflapyourhands]

My 4yo son possible ASD doesn't particularly like new things but has been extreme the last 3 days (first week back , but usually fine ) he came home on Monday and we had bought him a new jumper nothing special and he went ballistic, once he had calmed down he was stimming.

Then the following day I bought him a new book. Again I was met with a very upset little boy who didn't want the book, he has books , how could I be so silly ? (That's his trail of thought)

Then today they had book day in school and managed to get him in a onesie with dinosaurs on to go with his book. He went in fine no problems. Once we got to my parents house he didn't want to go in , in his onesie he had a massive melt down again and sat crying for 45 minutes very upset.

He is verbal but never does he tell us what he's done in school or never what's wrong with him if he's up set , poorly ect.

He just gets so upset . He seems to hold it together in school and once he's out he falls to pieces :(

Is this about routine , new things ect. ? And does anyone else have this ?

DS1 is also 10 and has ASD/ADHD and falls apart when his routine is changed. Unless it's something he feels he has ownership of, visits or events at school completely throw him. He won't set foot in his classroom if there is an unfamiliar adult in there, either helping out or supply. He hasn't set foot in his classroom yet, in the 8 days since half term because he doesn't like the topic, this half term, for the project based curriculum.

He goes through phases with new things. He chose some new trainers, last week, as his (not very) old ones were too small. They arrived today and he won't even look at them.

We find it helpful to keep home on week days very predictable and samey. Computer or tablet straight after school, coins to sort out, afterwards, a big pile of cushions and blankets to hide in when he is over-wrought.... It doesn't make everything completely better, but it takes the edge off.

Hi :) he used to have a diary due to violent ect but is settled now and due to this they haven't been doing it for months ! I keep telling them he doesn't talk to me about anything I'm interested in and to let me know what's going on and what he's done. The diary sits in his bag , useless ! I'm going in tomorrow I keep telling them I want to home in with him on what he's doing he may say something then !

I'm just sick of it he's completely different at home to school where as in play group he was unbelievable attacking the children never sitting ect so now he's settled they don't see a problem or more he's not disrupting and has a smile so they maybe aren't seeing it ?!

God knows , but it's frustrating !

And ...... Breathe

With regard to the new things problem, when Dd3 has new clothes of shoes we leave them in the living room where she sits/plays/passes by all the time.

She rarely agrees to try things on straight away but after a few days of them being "on view" in the house she will often decide for herself that she does actually like them.

This is the same whether she has chosen them or not!

Good luck