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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

The nurse at CAHMS has told me that minecraft is not suitable for under 12s

100 replies

OddFodd · 03/03/2014 11:41

She's made me feel like an awful parent :(

Originally I only let DS (7) play it on creative single player mode but eventually I relented because he went on and on about it and let him play on multiplayer. She thinks it's at the root of his suicidal ideation but Ihe doesn't like violent games so doesn't play them as far as I know and also only plays on a no grief server

I have to go back on my own in a few weeks. What's the deal here? If I don't ban it is she going to report me to social services/refuse to provide DS with additional support because I'm not co-operating?

OP posts:

Levantine · 03/03/2014 18:34

What a load of nonsense that nurse is talking. I hope you get to see someone else. My ds made me a lovely mine house treehouse with lots of bookshelves the other day

Levantine · 03/03/2014 18:43

Minecraft treehouse that is. Anyway, it is about the most gentle game you could find

OneStepForwardTwoBack · 03/03/2014 18:45

Sometimes I wonder if I'm too laidback but I think if our kids can play something for a bit that helps them wind down and relax and it gives us some space too from meltdowns etc, surely that can only be a good thing? I try to break up the days in the weekends and hols with other activities and trips out, but on a school day it seems silly to be hothousing them with loads more stuff at the end of an 7 hour day? My two have their mad half hour chasing each other around but do settle down to minecraft etc a bit later on. It's different when the weather's lovely and they can play outside a lot more. Also with the sleep thing. Surely the most important thing at this age is that the family as a whole, not just the child, sleeps? Has to be better for everyone concerned. There has to be balance for the whole family's wellbeing, not just the affected child. Just saying.

Original poster

OddFodd · 03/03/2014 18:47

Redoubtable - ironically DS has been discharged by NHS OT despite the fact that they acknowledged he had significant sensory processing difficulties! The paed also said she thought he had dyspraxia but the NHS OT ruled that out. In the private assessment he had, he apparently has the physical skills of the average 3 year old. His self-esteem is so fragile that I don't make him do anything that he finds very difficult for more than about 2 mins because it just makes him spiral into depression and I know that throwing a ball against a wall would be incredibly difficult for him for all the reasons you state. He can't even throw and catch a football sized ball from a distance of about 4 foot!

He is having private OT and she is wonderful because she changes the focus constantly, always moving from a tricky activity to an 'easy' one so the overall experience is positive.

Anyway, I digress. Thank you all so much for confirming that this woman was inappropriate and yes, a bit of an arse. You've given me lots of good ideas of how to tackle this. I shall go back for the 1-2-1 session and challenge her a bit more robustly. If she refuses to back down, I shall ask to see someone else.

OP posts:

PolterGoose · 03/03/2014 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OneStepForwardTwoBack · 03/03/2014 18:59

Oh good, I'm glad it isn't just me then! Before my little mate discovered the world of technology, he was a very unhappy little man who couldn't focus or do anything in the house really - was always fab at the outdoor stuff. He's moved on a lot since then, but his little word got a lot better when we introduced him to the ipad. Ironically, my older child didn't get a look in on anything like that til he was 7 years old, because I was one of those parents dead set against young kids playing on computers lol - oh the good old, innocent days, I had no idea what life had in store for me!

BeerTricksPotter · 03/03/2014 19:03

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

colditz · 03/03/2014 19:04

Nonsense. My seven year old and ten year old both play mine craft.

Original poster

OddFodd · 03/03/2014 19:39

Ahh that's interesting BeersTricks. I wonder if that's where she thinks DS got the vocabulary from?

This woman and the GP both seem very fixated on the language DS has used (and I haven't even told them about some of it) and it not being normal so it must have come from somewhere (he has talked about killing himself, not just to me but to his teacher).

There is a lot of talk about how weirdly articulate he is but I think that's because a) he's not good at lots of other stuff so that part of his brain muscle is quite strong b) I'm a single parent and so I talk to him a lot and have never particularly modified my vocabulary (and I don't at all now he's older, although I don't treat him as another adult!) and c) I'm a writer so I love words.

OP posts:

PolterGoose · 03/03/2014 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WilsonFrickett · 03/03/2014 19:54

Well quite Polter and onestep but don't you sometimes find there's an assumption our kids should be working hard on therapeutic improving fixing things all the time? or is that just DS ht? Heaven forfend the child should just, you know, waste some time in front of a screen.

Redoutable will have a look but I did make DP chuck out a lot of his computer comics recently...

Levantine · 03/03/2014 19:57

My 7yo uses that language too oddfod, I dint think it's anything to do with what you have or haven't done. He often sleeps with me to btw

PolterGoose · 03/03/2014 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WilsonFrickett · 03/03/2014 19:59

Oh that was actually quite easy [[http://www.pcpro.co.uk/features/387097/block-party-why-do-millions-play-minecraft its on page 4]]

NB I haven't let DS use the forum mentioned because he still doesn't really 'get' that you can play live - no point looking for trouble IYSWIM.

And odd have just realised this is a massive hijack, sorry!

Feenie · 03/03/2014 20:07

The nurse is an arse.

Not seen you for ages, Goblinchild - good to see you back and in such fine form

TheCrackFox · 03/03/2014 20:13

She sounds like a total tit.

Original poster

OddFodd · 03/03/2014 20:22

Oh no, don't apologise Wilson! It's really interesting :)

I'm just kicking myself for letting him go onto minecraft this morning (specifically to build a machine in the lego movie). If I hadn't, he probably wouldn't have even mentioned it! He hasn't played it for days because I've been using the computer so he's not had the chance. He did use it on Friday but to check on his puffles in club penguin. She'd probably have something negative to say about that too

OP posts:

Goblinchild · 03/03/2014 20:23

I never left, namechanged many times and I've hidden the primary ed boards because they damage my karma and untune my chi. I have missed you Darlink.

Both of my children talk like university boffs and always have done. Partly the fault of OH who is both an ivory tower sort and has enough traits to create his own place on the spectrum. He has never spoken to them in an age-appropriate manner.

Feenie · 03/03/2014 20:43

I know, but I can't always spot your namechanges. I know this one though. Missed you too!

Redoubtable · 03/03/2014 21:48

"There is a lot of talk about how weirdly articulate he is ".....

is funny as one of the key indicators for a diagnosis of Dyspraxia is a significantly higher verbal vs performance on IQ testing.
Also better expressive over receptive language is a typical indicator for ASD....

Both of which conditions commonly co-exist.... see here

Redoubtable · 03/03/2014 21:49

wilson thank you for looking for that
I dont have the will to investigate at this hour (wine o'clock since DS and DDs are in bed)

Redoubtable · 03/03/2014 21:51

Finally odd

DS had similar issues with using dramatic language to express his unhappiness as he went through a very very difficult time at that age.

I think some of it was/is that he has difficulty recognising and regulating his emotions.

I found the How to talk so kids will Listen book excellent for teaching me reflective listening.

bochead · 03/03/2014 22:01

Thanks for that link redoubt. More & more recently I've been wondering if DS needs a distinct and separate dyspraxia/DCD diagnosis as it's this, not the ASD that causes the major issues nowadays.

Redoubtable · 03/03/2014 23:35

Yes boc, I feel that it often warrants a seperate diagnosis as it gets lost in the mix I feel.
Its hard enough to get recognition for the social disability that is ASD without trying to convince people that it also covers movement and sensory difficulties. Whereas if it were a distinct label, schools people might be more inclined to accept the difficulties that co-exist

WilsonFrickett · 04/03/2014 07:38

Goodness, it's a long time since I looked at a dyspraxia list - they're pretty much describing DS!

Thanks for that Red

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