Can anyone pinpoint what could be the issue

[sweetteamum]

My ds is 11 and in year 6. He's dx'd with PDA, ADHD and dyslexia.

He's really struggling with anything, especially school at the moment.

He is constantly telling me I'm speaking too loud and hates the thought people are watching. He gets very embarrassed easily. He's gone so quiet at home, more if people knock for him. He refuses to go out and I hardly hear him talk.

I've been paying for a private children's counsellor, in the hope it helps with his anxieties and low moods. The counsellor has so far suggested he's got generalised anxiety disorder and social anxiety - well that's what he'll be treating him for, until the assessment is complete.

Do you think I'm missing anything here - apart from hearing his voice, that is! :(

Auditory processing disorder? Telling you you're speaking too loud could be that.

What would pinpoint that? Although, it seems to be because he's more embarrassed and doesn't like people hearing him or me speak. He practically whispers when we're in public.

If its the loudness of your voice then a possible APD but if its because he is embarrassed then probably not

ButI'm not by any means an expert so I'm not trying to Internet diagnose.

I completely understand. Don't worry, I'm just trying to making sure I've done enough. I hate feeling like there's nothing I can do :(

It's definitely embarrassment TOWIE

He gets full time 121 at school. Has lots of interventions for dyslexia. Allowances are made for him and he can leave classroom when it all gets too much - which he does do. Tbh school bend over back for him and are getting increasingly worried, like us. He's also in the statement process too.

In a way the holidays have been much less stressful, but when we went out earlier, and when we usually go out, his anxiety really takes hold. He barely talks and we just sat there for almost an hour in silent - well, apart from me trying to talk to him. Or even to get him to talk. He wouldn't go and get himself a drink, he asked me to do it.

Yes, we're using all relevant and suggested PDA techniques.

I'll have a look at selective mutism strategies now. Thank you.

Sorry, forgot to add. He's had lots of late marks and had a lot of time off too. The EWO worker is involved but because he's got additional needs they treat him differently. She's going to come out and see him after the holidays. Would it be wrong for me to suggest a reduced timetable - she's already mentioned him only attending school for lessons he likes.

ds2's noise sensitivity has increased in parallel with his anxiety so I am not sure if it is a separate problem or not. The one thing that has helped with ds2 is SS providing a buddy to play with him a few times a week. He still is exceedingly reluctant to go out but is less withdrawn at home and showing more of an interest in the world.

Ss have rejected to help us :(

How does that buddy system work then? If you don't mind me asking.

'Buddy' was arranged by shortbreak service of social services who matched a suitable person (our only request was male) with ds2. We are allocated 6 hours a week for each child and we arrange directly with the 'buddy' when he will visit and for how long. With ds2 he plays with him in the house as ds2 won't go out but will interact with him at home. With ds1 we are hoping he will take him out to do things like swimming that ds2 refuses to do. It took a few visits for ds2 to come out of his bedroom and play with him but now he comes out as soon as 'buddy' arrives. SS initially rejected us too but we had a bit of a crisis in December and the disability team accepted us onto their books then.

Would you be willing to pm me with anything you may find useful for me to use. Obviously I won't expect you to out yourself at all.