unreasonable DS (ASD)

[roadwalker]

My DS is 16 and has diagnosis of ADHD and Aspergers
He is so unreasonable but I believe totally that he thinks he is right and fair
Recent examples: He obsesses about having a german shepherd dog. Both DC are very allergic to animal hair so as our pets have died we haven't replaced them. We do have a poodle which they are fine with. I know I would end up looking after any pet and I dont want another dog, especially such a big one
He has major tantrums over this. I should say that he is generally high functioning but has chronic social anxiety
Another, one of DH friends upgrades his mobile each year and usually offers DH the old one cheap. We got DS a phone in this way. DH bought his latest phone and we were discussing who should have it. DS thinks he should- end of
He is not getting the phone but I know he absolutely believes we are being unreasonable
I try not to argue but often get drawn in before I realise it

Why is he not getting the phone? If he wants a new phone can you figure out a way that he can get one? Earn one, or save up birthdays etc?

If he wants a dog but can't have one, can he do dog-walking or help in a kennels?

It's a lot easier to try to offer solutions rather than flat out nos. While obviously ASD will exacerbate this, he is also simply being a teenager!

Linda has a book on flexible thinking that might help with this sort of scenario if explosive child doesn't.

Dog shelter every saturday morning - GSD's take longer to rehome and little old lady's are less keen to walk them, so there is likely to be a suitable candidate. Enroll DS as a dog walker for your local shelter as part of his routine. Some centres have special schemes for teens where they can either work towards a formal award or count it as their year 10 work experience block for school. A dose of anti-hitamines before and a shower and clothes wash as soon as he steps in the front door after and the allergy might be kept under control? Seems like a fantastic social activity for an ASD teen?