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6 replies

jenk1 · 05/08/2006 10:27

Hello my friends i havent been on SN much, ive been a bit frightened of posting, although thats silly really but thats the way i have been feeling.

A lot has been happening in the Jenk house.
We have the puppy back, DS was very depressed over him and our psych told us that it was the puppy not being here that was doing it so we had to ask FIL for the dog back.
FIL was not very happy but said he couldnt see DS upset.
Now thats what he said to my face however what he said to DH is a different matter, he said that we have put the autism into DS,s head, and that DS doesnt have AS, he,s just a bit of a worrier.
When DH tried to explain he shouted him down.
Our psych has offered to write a letter explaining that DS does have AS and why children with AS are very good at hiding the way they feel but FIL doesnt want to accept the word of a proffesional.
We have since found out that the dog has been mistreated, he has had fleas and nothing has been done, we have de-flead him, he was being fed on a diet of tinned spaghetti hoops, kebabs you name it, he is supposed to be on a special diet as advised by the vet.
He was manky and greasy when we got him back and not happy but within 3 days he has been bathed, deflead, given his proper food, taken for plenty of walks and got millions of cuddles from DS, the puppies tail is always wagging now.

Saw FIL the other night and tried to explain about DS and he shouted me down 4 times, he wouldnt let me speak, DS isnt even his biological grandchild so i dont understand why he,s being like this.

Its not the first time he.s been like this with me, he seems to have a problem with me and i cant be bothered any more, he also doesnt accept that DD has CP and says she,ll catch up.

So i have made a decision not to go to his house any more, he never comes up here anyway so i wont see him much, it gets to the point where- i think it was jimjams who said (sorry if its not you JJ) that im not bothereing with negative people anymore, people who make me feel depressed when i think that we are doing a great job as parents in an incredibly different situation.

We have also been told that the rest of the family have been slagging us off for making things up about our children and that we are fussing about nothing

So, thats my saturday morning rant over with!!!

OP posts:
matnanplus · 05/08/2006 10:37

Oh Jenks,

Sorry to hear FIL has been making your life a misery again, agree if he can't be supportive or even pleasant then sadly proably best to not seek contact with him.

At the state of the puppy, glad tho he has picked up and that DS is much happier.

Very at the other family mambers attitude towards you and your family.

Please don't hide agian and rant away all you want, we may not be able to help but we are thinking of you.

Big Hugs

proudofmyboobs · 05/08/2006 10:42

OK, I have to say I totally agree with not bothering with people who impose their negativity onto you. I have been there, done that and totally stopped doing it. My ILs were awful for negative comments, towards Dh, me and our children, we stopped going to visit, stopped calling, in fact, the only contact they had with us for the first 10months of Ds life was photographs I emailed to them! And they live on the same street as us!

You say ds isn't his biological grandson, do you think he deep down has a problem with that? Maybe he is one of these men who cannot accept faults/differences in people? Narrow mindedness leaves a lot to be desired in a person.

proudofmyboobs · 05/08/2006 10:43

Do you have the strength to confront FIL and other family members? If you have, then do it. How dare they think they can talk about you lot behind your back!! But maybe FIL is in the middle of it stirring with a big stick?

jenk1 · 05/08/2006 11:04

yes you are right about FIL, he loves a good gossip/slagging off, when he starts he,s worse than a room full of bitchy women.

We have a party for DS coming up soon and we want him to have a nice day as he has been through a horrible year so i am not going to say anything until after then, i will bite my tongue as all the kids are looking forward to it and its not fair for there to be an atmosphere on the day but after that, well that day will be the last that i see of the outlaws for a while.
DH is in full agreement as he has had enough of them, they dont ever come and visit DS and DD and the amount of times that DD has been in hospital over the last 12 months and they dont bother to visit and they all have cars.

They are not nice people at all.

OP posts:
emmalou78 · 05/08/2006 11:35

jenk,

I wish there was a way to make people see how stupid and negative their single mindedness can be, but I think they are oblivious to it all..

I can't do anything other then offer support, so you rant away any time you need to ok xx

emma x

jenk1 · 05/08/2006 11:37

thanks hun
xxx

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