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I kicked her

61 replies

lougle · 06/02/2014 19:27

Today I kicked DD2.

I'd had an awful morning - DD1 had got herself stuck down the side of DD2/3's bunk bed at chest height, with just one toe on the windowsill. DD3 had dissolved into tears because DD2 got dressed before her so was the 'winner'. DD1 got a shock from getting stuck and was a complete mess so we were running late.

It was 8.20 and DD1's bus comes at 8.20 then we need to hot-foot it to the school. DD2 had, as usual, completely blanked what she needs to do to be ready for school, and was sat on the sofa using the IPad. I asked her to ready herself. She ignored me.

I had my hands full of lunch boxes, book bags, etc., and I used my free hand to take the IPad from her - by this point she'd had 3 requests to turn it off, all acknowledged by ignored. Instead of letting me remove it, she started to tussle with it. It was precariously close to flipping in the air.

I raised my foot off the ground and kicked her just above the ankle Sad I can't believe I did it. I don't think it physically hurt her (she didn't show any signs of it and I would say it was a 'tap' if that didn't seem to be trying to minimise it - I'm not minimising it, but an accidental kick would be much harder than the kick I did...if that makes sense).

I apologised straight away. I told her I'd lost my control and I shouldn't have done it.

Anyway. Roll on tonight and she says that she had to do her 'feeling chart' at Dragonflies this afternoon - they draw in a 'blob' - and she drew a broken leg and a broken arm in hers, because Mummy kicked her on purpose. She said that the others had to raise their hands if they'd ever had that Hmm and she told me that I should have 'had a breath'.

She told me that she didn't tell them why, or what happened, or anything else. Then, she pointed to her knee, where just below there is a bruise (browny colour, not new) and said 'that's the bruise!'. So goodness knows what school thinks of me now.

OP posts:
Oblomov · 14/02/2014 16:52

Reign it in lougle. That wasn't what I was suggesting.
Don't start on me. I had more than my fair share if ss suggestions. And that wasn't what I was suggesting. And you should know that.

MothratheMighty · 14/02/2014 17:09

'But I thought the balance was missing. The balance of posters, not being soft and supportive. But coming down hard by saying that kicking is just so very wrong. '

But she already knew that, and made it clear from her very first post, didn't she? So what would be the point of stating the obvious agan and again, instead of saying yes, bad, what will you do next time this situation arises?

lougle · 14/02/2014 17:13

I'm sorry, Oblomov, no I don't know. You posted on a thread that was 6 days old, querying why nobody had accused me of abuse and told me what a very, very bad person I was?

Was I meant to read that and think that you didn't mean that you thought it was abuse and that you thought posters had been too 'softy softy and sympathetic'?

I've given you the response I felt was fitting:

-I've acknowledged that you are absolutely right
-I've given you the number you can report it to
-I've told you I couldn't care less, in case you were in any doubt

I can't think of anything I left out there.

OP posts:
Oblomov · 14/02/2014 17:32

Wish I hadn't bothered!!
I'm been disagreeing with people all day, re the wetaugust thread, saying SN boards aren't like this.
I'm starting to look a right tit now.

lougle · 14/02/2014 17:34

Aren't like what? What do you want me to say?? Do you want me to say 'Oh yes, sorry about that Oblomov...perhaps you'd like to go onto AIBU and drum up some interest in this thread from posters who will tell me how awful I was.'

OP posts:
Oblomov · 14/02/2014 17:48

What?
What the Heck do you take me for?

MothratheMighty · 14/02/2014 17:52

This isn't going anywhere good people, and for no sensible reason.
Other than a knock-down, drag out fight with hurt feelings and misunderstandings, what do you think the end of this is going to be?
Lougle, is your DD2 still remembering your momentary loss of temper, or has it been swallowed up by the joy of half-term and heart-shaped jam tarts?

Oblomov · 14/02/2014 17:55

Agreed. I'm sorry. Best leave this.

youarewinning · 14/02/2014 17:57

ob I think the difference and 'balance' as you referred to it as is not going to appear. This is MNSN. Where we all understand and empathise because we 'know' what its like and also 'know' Lougle. She was gutted and kicking herself (pun intended) and we were supporting her in practical ways to change the mornings and look at how it occurred.

In fact when parents type this kind of post in chat or parenting I am often horrified at some of the abuse screams. If a parent posts here its for support - and takes a hell of a lot of courage to post what happened.

We are all humans and should never judge another human for acting in a way we all could if caught on the hop at anytime.

Oblomov · 15/02/2014 15:43
  1. I know exactly what mnsn is . Thank you. I have been very supported over the last 10 years, so please don't patronise me by telling me what mnsn is like.

  2. I never accused lougle of abuse. I never said I thought it was abuse.
    Show me where I said it was. Nope. Didn't think so.
    I didn't think it was abuse. I never said it was. I think people are too quick to trip out the abuse comment.

Someone normally does. I was just saying that I was surprised someone hadn't. I was surprised lougle hadn't been given a harder time.

I've certainly Been accused of , and given a much harder time of most if my threads.

You should have seen what I got, when I first started a thread in parenting, before I even knew that what ds had was called SN.

Lougle has posted on some if my threads. I appreciated her advice then.

And I never said she was a bad mum. Or that SS should be called. This is all way ott.
I never said she was 'very very bad'.

I admitted I, have done all sorts if things I shouldn't have.

And I'm really sorry I posted on a thread that was days old. It came up on my list. Sorry about that.

Maybe I need to take a break from the SN section.

Oblomov · 15/02/2014 15:55

And.
I'm sorry.

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