WWYD?

[StarlightMcKingsThree]

Requested a change of placement for ds for a Sept start and gave LA our preferences which included a concession of a mainstream school with a resource unit, whilst indicating we did not currently think it was suitable (as they rejected ds before) but are willing for them to be consulted in case they have provision now which can meet need. Our preferences are Independent Out of County.

LA has written to mainstream school declaring that it is our preference and challenging them to declare themselves unsuitable, which will be hard for them if they think the parents are determined, given the whole inclusion law stuff.

I don't want to contact school and tell them that we don't want ds to go there. I have another child at this school in any case. But nor do I want them to feel obliged to take a child that they cannot cater for and pretend they can because well, they may well have to and any protestation at this point may well get them my ds anyway, but just with a more expensive (for them) statement.

Have you rea this
www.amazon.co.uk/Choosing-School-Child-Special-Needs/dp/1843109875/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1390320867&sr=1-1&keywords=ruth+birnbaum

She was our EP.

I've come to the conclusion that whatever we do is always a compromise, we just have to have faith & fight for the compromise that we feel will result in the optimum outcome.

Good luck star

Thanks Boch/Wet.

DH is away so am on my own with all this currently. It doesn't help that I received a copy of the parental advice for statements from parents of children at the base which make pretty shocking reading in terms of how ill-equipped the resource is.

Surprisingly HE was suggested to be a good option but still a compromise. The school he is at, also a compromise but whilst a good option, if ditched will mean unlikely return.

Currently trying to figure out HOW I could do both to keep options open for the future. Perhaps I could start by raising taxi time with LA!?

What's the numbers 1, 2 and 3 problems with his current school?

Is the most important problem surmountable?

If not you'd be better looking elsewhere.

But if you lose that provision I agree you'd be unlikely to get independent provision in the future and there may be some that would suit him in later years.

TBH unless it was actualy damaging him I'd keep him where he was, If the journey is too long then quote the law on non-stressful travel to the LA and get him his own taxi for a shorter ride.

You're going to teach him more after school and at weekends and in the holidays than school can anyway.

Perfect provision does not exist.

I keep think about the taxi time as frankly 2 hours a day sounds as if it is to much. (esp if like me you do the REAL educating before or after school in term time anyways!).

School transport is a battle I've never had, though hell will freeze over if anyone thinks I'm prepared to carry 6 stone DS for a 30 minute school run fireman lift style ever again. I'm gonna tell anyone who suggests it that I'm just too darn old & lazy & BONKERS!

To be fair - the late diagnosed & previously unsupported coming in and messing up the class dynamics is an issue you'll face wherever you go from now on. Until more LA's and PCT's get their act together about providing genuine early years support and diagnosis this is gonna be a national issue in both the public and private sectors.

Every child matters? My back foot/snort

My dd2 has the perfect school however the minibus picks her up at five to eight for a nine o clock start she's four!

Posted to say you should definitely look at travel time

Well he's only travelling for 45 minutes on the way, but the taxi gets there 35 mins before school starts (15 mins before the gates to the supervised playground open). On the way back he takes 30mins.

I'll think about the 1,2 and 3 problems. I think number 1 is that he is falling further and further behind his peers and doesn't have the TIME to keep up. The school think I am concerned about academics. That isn't true. I'm concerned about pace of learning.

Also right now, I'm also concerned about a child the Paed was trying to dx with HFA, who I insisted only put ASD and not HFA, is now being defined as definitely not HFA but moderate. His first EP when he was 3 also told me he would one of the most HF children he had assessed and would never need a special school. Is it because we didn't win that ABA in 2010? Or is it that age and maturing has brought up other problems not identified in the early days? Or did he just have an off day this week?

DH surprisingly unfazed by this btw. He said I know ds better than anyone and labels are for other people and reminded me that diagnosis is not prognosis.

Still I'm worried that another 2 years at the school might reduce his functioning further.

Thanks everyone, and Wet.

I have agreement that the taxi will pick up ds 15 minutes later. The escort and driver are nor prepared to budge about the time they arrive at the school as they say it is necessary to increase their hourly pay to make sure the kids are guaranteed to get to school on time with fluctuating traffic business, but they will change the order of pick-ups.

That's a bit better.

I have contacted dd's school to see if there are any spaces available in their after school club 3 days a week (she's thrive on it). It will cost us quite a bit but far cheaper than an after school tutor for ds and probably cheaper than funding all of the home-education extras.

I will try and arrange ds to nap after school or find a way to keep him occupied and adapt my home-school curriculum to an abridged version that can be done in 5 hours during the week and another 3 or so at the weekend.

If I can get this all in place we'll try it for the rest of term.

Does that sound more sensible?

baby ds to nap, not ds.

Thanks Polter. That's the big risk isn't it? That I lose a place where ds is happy never to regain it again. But what will I say to ds when he is 18?

'Sorry you can't read or write son, but you WERE happy'?

I suppose if you HAVE to chose, I would chose happiness over academics because mental health gone wrong is a lot harder to address in adulthood than academics gone wrong.

Thanks both. zzzzz I don't know where is best. And all options are not equal and require compromise.

Unless DS can weekly board at yours of course. That might work.

Another thing I need to work through is ds' generalisation skills.

People have been banging on about ds' poor generalisations skills, but in all the years since he has been born, I have never seen this. I have never seen anyone give an example of this either. I certainly can't.

I can see language issues. i.e. being asked to circle half of the 10 sweets on a page and him circling half of every single of the 10 sweets. That is indeed a problem that needs work, but is that what they mean by generalising?

DS came home yesterday and said 'Unfortunately Daddy is late home and can't read the bedtime book'. I said 'unfortunately? Where did you learn that?' ds said 'at school'. I said 'what other words have you been learning?' he said 'luckily'. So I said 'and what does that mean?' and he said 'luckily, Daddy will be back tomorrow and can read the book'.

Or is that not generalising?

I am not denying rigidity in his thinking. But the generalisation thing I have NEVER got to grips with.

Perhaps I should open up a general discussion thread on it!?

Yes Polter I think 'functioning' is misleading and is 'supposed' to be going, though I doubt it will disappear any time soon in the way that people still talk about dyslexia iyswim.

EP said ds was like a boy without ASD in the learning context, but during the unstructured time he looked to be the most severely affected in the class.

You can't be both. Or maybe all ASD is both!?