AIBU to want to run and hide with DD2?

[lougle]

She's stressed again, because she had to do her reading challenge for school. Her book contained the word 'Czechoslovakia'. She was screaming and yelling at DH that she'd never be able to read that word.

I calmed her a little, helped her to break it down phonically, told her that the z is like an h in our language, then wrote the word down with the sounds underneath. She could read each sound easily. She could blend the sounds with the one next to it, but she just couldn't get past the fact that it was a 'long word' and wouldn't attempt it, but equally didn't want DH to read the word because then she'd never learn it and remember it.

She was so stressed. Already. School doesn't even start until Monday.

It's so hard, isn't it? I know she can do it. I think she knows she can do it, but the pressure of feeling that she has to be able to do it consistently and correctly and remember it is too much.

We havent even looked at the maths homework yet

We managed to get through the Literacy after Dd3 finally managed to make her teacher realise that she needed help with it [they were supposed to do some at home and some at school but Dd3 does her work on the computer at home and in a book at school so that doesnt work!!]

I flippin hate homework, it is the bane of my life!!!

Sorry your Dd is so stressed

Actually it was me who made the teacher realise Dd3 needed help. That was wishful thinking that Dd3 might have been able to express/share her anxiety at school!!

ridiculous INMT

Dd3 has just been diagnosed with Hyperlexia!! I always thought she met the criteria but the Ed Psych confirmed it.

She can decode very quickly but often has no idea what she is reading and doesnt self correct if it doesnt make sense.

Dd1 was the same when she was in yr one so 6 she came home with a reading book with the word Tumultuous in it!

I had never even heard of the word and had to look it up.

Do you think your Dd is being pushed up through the levels too quickly Lougle?? That happened with both my quirky girls

I don't know if this helps, and sorry if it doesn't but my NT DD would freak out over a word like that that she would struggle to read. We would have stomping, and throwing things and shouting about how "I'm rubbish!"

I don't know. DD2 is 6.5, year 2 but August born. She got to ORT 5 in her old school (Y1, Term 2), but when she started her new school, I said that I worried that she didn't comprehend as well as she decoded. The teacher agreed that 'comprehension should be our focus right now' and put her down to ORT 3/4 books (still Y1, Term 2, because we made a sudden switch in school).

She went from ORT 3/4 in Term 2 of Y1, to ORT 6 at the end of Y1.

She's in Y2 now, and is on ORT 8. She can read, I'd say, 98% of the words with ease. She's a great decoder. 'Prague' didn't present her any problems. She knows all her sounds from Read Write Inc and the ditties that go with them. She's off the phonics scheme now (finished it) and is on the spelling scheme.

She was assessed in early Y2 and put on ORT 7, and when I went in to speak to the teacher about her and alerted her to her anxiety, etc., the teacher seemed to suddenly realise that DD2 wasn't 'low ability' but 'not accessing teaching due to anxiety'. The next day DD2 said 'I've moved to red group for reading' and she'd gone to ORT 8.

This is one of the first non-fiction reading challenges. I think it's because she thinks she needs to remember how to say 'czechoslovakia' and I think the z after the c has thrown her, because they won't have learned 'cz'='ch' in RWI.

DD2 finds it very hard to learn 'incidentally'. She needs rules. She hadn't learned 'cz=ch' so it's thrown her. Plus, the word is so long -6 syllables, so she has to remember 6 sounds to make it fluent.

Yes I know exactly what you are saying, it is not the actual reading of the word that has freaked her out as much as the word being totally unknown so she didnt know how to tackle it.

WhenDd3 comes to words she doesnt know she stops, works it out and then reads it fluently [sometimes.] She rarely did the pausing and slowly saying the word as she decoded it.

It does sound as though the teacher is keeping an eye on her comprehension which is good.

Would she allow you to read that page and then carry on afterwards?

I used to do that with Dd3 sometimes if something had upset her on a particular page.

On a lighter note, because Dd3 doesnt ever really realise that she has made mistakes when she is reading she will accuse authors of writing stuff that doesnt make sense!! You gotta love her

I came up with the idea of DH reading 'Czechoslovakia' and her reading the rest, but then she said 'and what happens if it's on another page?' and seemed to find it ludicrous that DH could, in fact, read it each and every time it occurred

We did that, eventually, once her indignation wore off.

Would it work if you showed her a map and explained that lots of countries have funny names to pronounce. Showing her where the country is .
That way she can see that it's not a usual word , and may relate better to fact it's difficult to say . Maybe explain that in that countries language it would be pronounced like the ch sound here.
Don't know if this is helpful or not .

Maybe tell her that in Czech language it would be written with C and above it is little v, which makes the funny sound. or explain the country has split anyway into czech republic and Slovakia so it's not relevant anyway.. Poor thing.

I did say 'it's not our language which is why....' and she yelled 'see! see! It's not even my language, no wonder I can't read it!!!!!' I gave up at that point.

She's still up now She's nervous about going to school, because after today it's Sunday and after Sunday it's Monday, which is school day.

She says she's finding play time tricky for 3 reasons. Number 1 - she can't find many friends to play with. Number 2 - she gets cold legs without tights (her tights annoy her, seamless tights are on order). Number 3 - when she sits on the friendship bench, which she does a lot, nobody bothers to come and see her.

I wanted to cry

She says she thinks she should be a home learner.

Oh Lougle I so no how hard it is. Dd3 keeps saying that to me, it has been worse since some friends started to HE and she simply doesnt understand why we cant do it

I have no words to help but I know you will support her and make sure she gets the support she needs.

Be kind to yourselves

Oops wrong know, dont know whats up with my spelling tonight

She's finally gone to bed now.

I don't know why her teacher doesn't notice this. She has reassured me several times that 'DD2 bombs around the playground quite happily at play time'.

I think she ends up playing rough games with the boys because she can't find girls to play with. Not that it matters whether she's with boys or girls, but the teacher sees her 'playing' when she's actually 'tagging along'.

She's also constantly coming out of school with plasters on her knees because she's falling over. The library/crossing patrol/school volunteer lady said last term 'when she goes down, she really goes.' I think it's probably because she can't think quickly enough to try and save herself - she never has grazed hands, it's always only her knees.

I can so relate to the friendship issues , it's so hard for them cause they so desperately want to be friends , some of the other children either see this as a weakness or for taken advantage of there trusting and good nature side .
This may actually be what's playing on her mind more than the reading , as I'm sure they be loads of kids who will mis pronounce this word.
She sounds like she beating down on herself , could you maybe ask the teacher whose on playground duty , that when she sitting on the friendship bench to go over , as they usually have few kids who constantly tag around them to start game with them all to get her included more .
We had this , but never really found a solution .
Could school do a friendship group , working on what friendship is , why we choice the people who are our friend , learning how to include others into our group . Making them play games with someone whose not there friend that they have to work together to succeed . She could take small group of girls that your daughter would like to be friends with and work them as a little group .
My son primary school did this and he managed to find a few boys to be friends with , helped by having them round for tea , computer games . Occasional days out with us to beach / museum / pictures .
So try speak to school when they go back to try and get her included more.

some kids are incredibly good at hiding their anxiety outside of the house. DD1 certainly does and school still don't believe me about it.

HOWEVER my daughters are both remarkably adaptable to foreign spellings, especially Eastern European due to the large numbers in their school of children whose names are spelt in Eastern European ways. I suppose it adds to the phonics they are having to learn but they don't really know any different.

We would have had similar responses though from DD1 just perhaps with a different word that she took a dislike to.

was that the book about Alex Brychta? I remember reading that one with DD1. long explanation about tanks and invasion required - led to fear of people invading....

Thank you both. I think I need to work out whether DD2's perceptions match reality. Then deal with the friendship issue. She doesn't talk about things much.

I agree about the perceptions lougle I have spent ages trying to get this across at Dd3's school. A small bad thing happening at 9.00 am can be a massive life changing thing by 3.30 because she is unable to get help or tell anyone she is upset.

I have no idea how to solve this but have quite a few people working on it so if we come up with anything I will let you know.

So far we have tried, Nominated adults, chosen by her, telling a friend so they can tell the staff, the Senco popping to see her a couple of times a day and probably a few other things without success.

Your Dd is younger than mine so if you could catch her quick before the behaviour is ingrained you may be able to find someway to get her to ask for help at school so that problems could be sorted out for her before they get totaly blown out of proportion.

Having seen the video of her with the song words my feeling is that she is very like Dd3 and needs things to be made very clear to her.

Yes, exactly, Ineed. She hears something (probably 1/4 of something because she wasn't tuned in to the other 3/4) so she's coming in on the back foot, makes assumptions to fill in the gaps and comes up with a terrible situation. For example, the day she told me that she had to wear silver sparkly shoes or she wouldn't be allowed on stage for the performance. The reality was that there was no performance, no shoes needed, and certainly not sparkly silver ones. She had heard the teacher say 'you can wear those to the ball' to another pupil, who had volunteered that they had silver sparkly shoes.

Can you backward chain it? So every time it occurs she only needs to read 'Kia', and, provided she remembered it the next time she read the book you can add 'vakia' etc.?

The reason you begin with the end of the word is so that she is able to 'complete' and move on iyswim.

That might work. I did forward chain it, so saying 'ch' chek' 'cheko' 'chekoslo' 'chekoslovak' 'chekoslovakia' (sounds, rather than spelling).

I didn't think to backward chain it. I wonder if she'd manage that, or if she'd get stressed because the order is wrong? She got very stressed with DH because he put a film on for her and took a different route than normal to get to it on the TV. She knows that to get to her films she presses 'smart>Lovefilm>Films>Genres>Children. He pressed 'smart>Lovefilm>Films>recently watched. She went a bit wild