Maybe it is just me but I don't like their tone with regard to SN. Namely
All children have special needs. All children are different. All children need special care and support to help them fulfil their potential.
if you are going to allow children with Aspergers Syndrome and other ?special needs?, such as ADHD to attend ?normal? schools
We have had remarkable success with children with mild to medium spectrum Aspergers Syndrome, ADHD, depression, dyslexia, dyspraxia and behavioural challenges, to such an extent that many of these children are soon able to lead perfectly ?normal? lives.
What's the difference between this and 'we are all on the spectrum'? The definition of special needs as including all children and the placing of quotation marks around the term special needs suggests that they don't believe in the existence of special needs. It's all stuff and nonsense and in fact
Parents who have struggled with their child for many years, for various reasons, suddenly find that they can start to enjoy their family life, as their children, content in themselves and self-disciplined, no longer need to push the boundaries.
No mention of meeting need then or recognition that need does not suddenly disappear but is very likely to continue throughout the child's academic career. Of course it is expected that the right school would have a positive impact but there seems, to me, to be an uncomfortable suggestion that the child will become 'normal' or at least functionally indistinguishable from the real thing if we ignore their different needs and treat them just like everybody else. I think DS1 needs to learn skills to cope with being different so that he can better fit it. Only a school that makes the implicit (like social rules) curriculum explicit and specific can do this imo.
It seems that the real question is whether the school would allow you to name them in part 4 if you were to move with a statement especially when indi specialist schools have said his needs were too severe. I know the point is irrelevant as you can't actually get him into the classroom atm, but assuming that he felt OK in a different educational setting, would he still be classed as severe by his CT, would he need 1:1?
The stats showed that LA's in general fund a far greater proportion of statemented children at m/s indi, perhaps with a unit, than they fund to attend specialist indi. Could this be an option and where you are most likely to find the right place for DS?