poo smearing

[claw2]

The last few weeks in ds's bedroom I have notice brown finger smearing on the walls and I wasn't sure what it was. I certainly didnt think it was poo as ds is usually totally disgusted at the thought of anything on his hand. Ds explained this away as he had chocolate on his hands and wiped it on the walls. It is obviously poo.

However, over the last couple of weeks, it has increased and become a daily occurrence. I washed the walls yesterday and told ds that he shouldn't wipe 'chocolate' on the walls. He was crying and saying he was sorry. This morning, there it is again on the walls.

Ds has a soiling problem, in as he never totally soils himself, however when he needs to go to the toilet, he has poo around his bottom where he tries to hold onto it and then rushes to the toilet at the last minute.

Im not sure how to handle this, do I tell him I know its poo? although he will insist its chocolate.

Or do I just carry on with you must not wipe 'chocolate' or anything else on the walls?

I did this as a child. On the bathroom wall, to check my bottom was clean after wiping. (It obviously wasn't)
Parents asking if there was chocolate on the walls did not deter me. Neither did them saying well it seems that it's poo on the walls i don't know who could have done it but it's very unhygienic etc.
what stopped me was them saying we know it's you and after an age of arguing that it was chocolate and not poo the matter was resolved. I didn't get any form of punishment, nor did i ever admit it, but the fact they knew was enough.
Just to add though, i do not have any form of special needs (that i know of) so this may not apply but worth considering

Thanks for the reply banana. Before I washed it off, I did call ds into his room, told him he wasn't in any trouble but that he had told me yesterday he would wash or wipe his hands instead of wiping on the walls and that he hadn't done what he said he would do and that we needed to have a chat about it.

He told me it was my fault for buying him chocolate, I reminded him I never buy him chocolate, his preferred sweet when I do buy them is tic tacs! and the fact that he didn't have any chocolate yesterday and that I thought it was in fact poo, his response 'why the hell would I do that'!!

He told me he had a secret supply of chocolate, left over from Halloween, so I asked him to show me his 'secret supply' apparently it had all gone and all the wrappers thrown out of the window!

I just responded with oh good, it wont be happening again then, if your supply is all gone now.

We will see.

Would also add the most concerning part is that ds does self harm by scratching himself with his finger nails, when at all stressed or anxious. I really want to try and stop this behaviour before he causes himself an infection.

Polter, im not sure if its the poo that is there before he goes, as he tries to hold onto it and it goes into his pj bottoms and around his bottom or the after where he hasn't wiped properly.

He has to have a full length mirror in the bathroom and wet wipes to wipe as his bottom is always in a mess after he has been due to trying to hold it.

So I find soiled pj bottoms in the dirty wash, finger smears and also flicking of poo on his walls.

However he will not let me help to clean him up and wont tell me when he has been or needs to go.

Hi. I think it would be worth getting the soiling issue looked at. My ds has been soiling but like you describe it's a little bit around his bum and then he goes. I went to the GP who said that he is probably constipated even though he does big poos and the poo on his bum is from higher up leaking out.
I'm wondering if your son checks himself to see if he has had an accident and then wipes it somewhere? My son has been prescribed movicol for 6 months and this seems to be working well.

Hi PJM, he has never been 'clean' since being out of nappies, this has always been the way it is. We have been seen by the continence clinic twice now, once when younger and again more recently.

They did suggest constipation, although he is always loose. He was prescribed Movicol when younger and this just made the problem worse, he just needed to go more often which just meant he soiled more often. Although that was a few years ago, it might be worth another try.

When ds was younger, about 5 years old, he described it as not knowing he needed to go until it 'popped out'. I assumed it was a sensory thing and he had limited sensation. At that time he was soiling both in school and at home. School didn't deal with it very well and would just leave him in soiled clothes. Other children picked up on it and started teasing him, calling him names, refusing to sit next to him etc, etc.

He then stopped soiling in school and refused to use the toilets and started holding onto it, which doesn't make any sense, surely he wouldn't be able to hold onto it, if he had limited control and sensation?

He is now 9 years old and still refuses to use the toilet in school, he now holds onto it even at home, as he says it hurts when he goes (despite never being constipated in the traditional sense, he is always loose)

He seems to have a big problem with even the thought of bodily functions and refuses to even say the word poo and finds the thought of it disgusting. He has to have a full length mirror and wet wipes, as he is petrified of getting any on his hands.

Which is why I am so surprised that he is smearing. I am confused by it to be honest.