Tell it like it is - short comments for my blog

[inappropriatelyemployed]

Your chance to tell it like it is - anonymously.

I can post your pearls of wisdom on my blog.

I can let you have details if you PM me or you can just post on here.

A short para or two with the things you want to tell other parents.

Anything: no holds barred.

COME ON - MAKE SOME NOISE!!

In any multidisciplinary meeting, the only person with your child as their SOLE agenda, is you.

In 5 schools I have yet to see a SMART IEP written by a teacher. I don't think they get any training in this.

When a professional accuses you of having too high expectations of your child, they really mean of their service.

Always have high expectations of your children. If you don't, no-one else will.

Don't get into a debate with any professional about funding. This is not your concern. Your concern is having your child's needs met. If they complain of financial difficulty tell them to hire an accountant.

If you are told that you child has more provision than a child with more needs, show shock at their negligence and insist that their failure to meet that child's needs is further justifies your tenacity.

Great - all on there!

In professional meetings I often sign my name and put my 'profession' as advocate of my son. It feels less defensive than 'parent'.

Love that!!

I think it makes it clear that I am the only one with purely his interests at heart and prevents anyone else from pretending it is their role.

I recommend obtaining the full school and SEN records under a FOI request. Some of the things you can find out are just staggering and can be very useful for tribunals or complaints.

Yes, but you'll need to do them simultaneously and other agencies at the same time as there is a higher chance you'll discover the weeded documents they pretend they don't have.

Good point Star.

Great - it is the DPA for your child's personal records. FOIA for LA/NHS policies, block contracts, statistics etc

Have amalgamated your points and added that this can show up collusion but it can also be upsetting

When the system was really getting me down and I began to see the true corruption and collusion behind my back I hit an all time low and visited my GP, who told me that disagreeing with professionals and paranoia were symptoms of a personality disorder.

I was amazed how many stories changed when I put in writing what people had told me in order to clarify that I had heard correctly.

btw, I don't think the GP was in on the institutional bullying, but one of the reasons it is so rife is because it is mostly utterly unbelievable how much brutality parents of children with special needs can face just to get an adequate education for them.

FOI also needs to go to the LA named school with specific questions. Such as how many children are Statemented with xxx condition. How many teachers are qualified to teach/provide therapy for xxx condition. What are their qualifications. If your named school provides xxxx therapy, ask even more specific questions such as 'when was the last time xxx therapist was providing xxx therapy in the school'. How many times this academic year has xxx therapist visited. How many times this term..

Be very very specific with your questions.

(I saw a very interesting FOI on the 'What do they know' when a person asked a LA how many 'wins' at Tribunal had they had. As the LA didn't recognise the word 'win', the request was unsuccessful, so the person had to resubmit with precise legal words )

Upsetting is right, IE. Especially when you see negative remarks from people that are meant to be supporting your child implying that they are 'putting it on'. Trouble is, when you complain you are then accused of being 'malicious or vexatious' and your complaint is ignored. It's a very sad state of affairs .

Great guys thanks. Keep it coming!!

Oops I appear to be a name-changer.

Here's another comment for you

"I have gone through life believing the best in people, and that people and organisations will want to help the most vulnerable people in our society, a disabled child. However, my gentle illusions have been shattered in my 18-month long battle to get my child a Statement of Educational Needs. From my LA, I have experienced first hand institutional bullying designed to cost me the huge sums of money (tens of thousands of pounds), strategies to put me off getting my child provision, and tactics designed to make me continue my battle without legal representation. I have been lied to, I have not been consulted over my child's education, and I have seen first hand LA practices that are not only immoral but are also illegal.

I don't want what's 'best' for my child. I only want him to have 'adequate' provision and a basic British right: an education in a school.

Would I do it again? Yes! I am his ONLY hope for him to have future. "

You have to be tenacious and persistent - no waving the white flag too early! LA's and schools rely on many parents falling by the wayside as the effort involved in fighting them can be too great on top of the day to day management of your child's needs. Don't give in - support is out there for you.

My experience is that often Local Authorities are not refusing provision (to a child who desperately needs it for a chance at life) to protect the public purse or due to cuts, but on the basis of principle, ego-satisfaction, empire protection and sometimes simply because they can.

Thanks. If you haven't seen the blog = PM me for a link. I hope it will help a little to see your comments out there on the internet.

Hear,hear Star. When I refused a totally unsuitable placement (even the professionals there had admitted it was wrong and couldn't meet needs) I was told that it was my 'choice' that my child had received no education . Because they had offered something, however unsuitable, they obviously felt that they were not accountable for any lack of provision. Would have been a different story if their own child was in that situation!

Sadly, just because you have fought with your every being for the statement to be quantified and specified, you have very little input into the attitude of the person delivering it of the culture in which they work that encourages them to see you as having cheated.

This time last year my child was without ANY school. I withdrew him from a private school and the LA refused to help me find a state school. He was totally denied ANY school - and a judge agreed with the LA.

I have the Tribunal Order to prove the above. My solicitor wanted to appeal but I couldn't afford it as it would have had to have gone on up the food chain and into the Upper Tribunal (or whatever it's called). It left my DC without ANY school from July 2012 to February 2013 when they issued the Statement.

Sorry IE, have gone totally off-topic. Too much Saturday evening !!

Cull any agency or professional that cannot state what outcomes they can produce for your child. Meetings with them will be a waste of time and when you complain of their ineffectual contributions they will bang on about all the meetings they have given you as if minutes raise attainment all by themselves.